MONDAY ROUND-UP

Conan the Buddhist Chihuahua

A linkapalooza to help you start your week:

• SENIOR CITIZENS GONE EVIL: This CNN story has further destroyed my faith in the goodness of humanity: Two elderly women aided and befriended two homeless men, took out life insurance policies on their lives, drugged them, killed them with a car, and tried to collect on the insurance after making it look like a hit-and-run. In other news, I'm not above executing female senior citizens.

• IT'S RAINING McCAIN: Speaking of losing faith in humanity, who knew that human beings could create something more horrendous than that "Hillary 4 U & Me" music video? Can somebody please confirm this is a joke so I can sleep at night?
  

• THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT AMERICAN AIRLINES: Speaking of being unable to sleep, a woman has sued American for failing to protect her from a passenger who moved into the empty seat next to her and -- wait for it -- diddle whacked into her hair while she was sleeping. What was that man thinking? Couldn't he have waited until he landed and walked into the nearest Target department store?

• JAPANESE DOG LEARNS TO PRAY IN BUDDHIST TEMPLE: That sounds like a pretty sweet pet trick until you realize Conan the Chihuahua (see picture above) is goofing on Buddhists just to score some dried fish-flavored Scooby Snacks. Up next: training the dog to achieve nirvana through meditation instead of the shameless lickery of his groin.

• ATTACK OF THE NATIONAL CORNDOG DAY: That's a strange ad, right? I love me some c-dogs, but I'm not sure I enjoy the image of a fleet of torpedo bombers conducting a protracted aerial assault on urban basketball courts with giant corn dogs.

• THE FUTURE OF HIP HOP HAS ARRIVED: For those who haven't seen this video, please enjoy ...

--Junichi