NATURE'S CHILD

I first noticed the Station Fire on Thursday night, when a friend and I were driving east, towards downtown, along the 10 freeway. As we neared downtown, we could see the glow of fires that looked close to the Hollywood Sign; in the dark, we had no sense of depth and only realized that the fires were further back when we turned on the radio.

The Station Fire is nothing like I can quite compare to insofar as the size and scope of it eclipses even the Oakland Hills Fire of 1991 that I witnessed from a Berkeley dorm. The Station Fire has so far not been as deadly or destructive - and hopefully that will stay that way - but its impact on the Southland is visually felt anytime you look East.

Basically, the ferocity of the Fire is creating what's known as pyroculumus clouds; it's nature's variation on the mushroom cloud created by an atomic or nuclear detonation. What is so striking is that the last few days have had surprisingly blue, cloudless skies everywhere else except over the fire zone and there, you can see this thick, gray haze spreading across the horizon with the billowing pyrocumulus clouds punching their way skyward past them.

--O.W.

FIND THE DIFFERENCES

Microsoft ad used in the United States



Microsoft ad used in Poland

Did you spot the differences, kids?

If not, here are the answers:

1. The Asian guy in the U.S. ad is the CEO, whereas the Asian guy in the Polish ad is an exchange student.

2. The middle man in the U.S. ad does not have health insurance.

3. The woman in the Polish ad does not actually care that Michael Vick is playing football again when so many more NFL players have been convicted for crimes that involve the death of human beings and served shorter sentences.

4. The middle man in the Polish ad is playing pocket pool.

5. The U.S. ad does not use the word "firmy."

Also, something looks a bit off about the skin color of the middle guy ...

Credit: AMERICAblog

--Junichi

WHY OLIVER AND I WON'T GIVE OUR CHILDREN A WEBCAM ANYTIME SOON

Then again, if this kid inks a six-figure deal to star in his own television show, we might change our mind.

--Junichi

LIGHT TREASON

Him?

President Obama's proposed health care reforms constitute some of the most important pieces of federal legislation to surface in my lifetime.

If passed, especially with the public option preserved, our nation will be taking a huge step toward closing the gaping inequalities between rich and poor and ending the discrimination against those with pre-existing conditions.

This is too huge a moral issue to let the debate be hijacked by dishonest yahoos like ex-Gov. Palin.

To get worked up about this, I need only think about two of my neighbors who have spent the last decade saving money for and then paying off necessary cancer treatments that their insurance company refused to cover.

*

Now having said this, I would just like to say that the above gentleman who brought the "OBAMA: BRING BACK ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT" sign to one of President Obama's town halls still gets my respect.

(With thanks to D. Shamir)

--Junichi

WHEN BILLBOARDS BATTLE

15 Billboards That Don't Belong Next To Each Other

--O.W.

SECOND ONLY TO MIDGET MONGOLOID BLOODS

These two Tiny Oriental Crips seem neither Tiny nor Oriental

The feds just handed down 15 indictments after concluding a two-year investigation targeting what is purportedly the most notorious Asian gang in San Diego: the Tiny Oriental Crips.

The unsealed indictments revolve around meth distribution charges, but the gang apparently has a violent reputation in San Diego that extends beyond drug dealing.

I have no doubt that T.O.C. members must be armed, dangerous, and ruthless. How else can a gang called Tiny Oriental Crips garner respect?

That has to be the worst gang name ever.

Tiny Oriental Crips sounds like a topping for a teriyaki chicken salad at Panda Express.

Given that "Crips" derives from crippled, T.O.C. is the equivalent of an Irish gang calling itself the Dwarfy Leprechaun Handicapped.

Plus, what makes T.O.C.'s name especially odd is that the gang apparently targets other Crip gangs. So now, this is on par with a black gang naming itself the Hobbit Negro Aryan Bloods.

Over the last two years, the agents working on this sting must have endured strange conversations. If I had to tell people I spend time "tracking down Tiny Oriental Crips," I would expect to hear the following responses:

• Awww, that's so cute. Maybe you can trap them by playing little tiny potstickers in a mousetrap.


• But who will track down the Lollipop Guild and the Oompa-Loompas?


• You realize it's more politically correct to say Tiny Asian American Crips, right?


• Did you lose your medication?
  

Finally, how did the two people in the photo above allegedly become ringleaders in the Tiny Oriental Crips? It's hard to tell if they're tiny in the picture, but they certainly don't look Oriental. In fact, they look more like employees at Staples.

The duo are the only two of 15 T.O.C.'s named in the indictment who are at large and not in federal custody.

Perhaps they haven't been caught yet because the APB's all start with "Be on the lookout for two Tiny Oriental Crips ..."

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Related link: Any gang incidents near your neck of the woods? Click here to find out.

--Junichi

WE MIGHT EVEN FORGIVE LONG DUK DONG

We'll Know When We Get There: Sincerely, John Hughes

--O.W.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #142

With Zero-to-60 acceleration in 5.9 seconds, this Domino's delivery guy is at your door in less than 30 minutes.

This Week's Question:

--Junichi

JUSTICE

--Junichi

TNC: "THE TOUGH THING ABOUT RACISM..."

The Tough Thing About Racism... - Ta-Nehisi Coates

And you thought getting Obama elected was the hard part....

--O.W.