DUMB ACTS OF DISCRIMINATION

yes, the dragon has a gun
Poplicks is a little late to the party on this one considering that everyone from SFGate.com to Hyphen to Wired has already offered their two bits. Nonetheless, this story is hard to pass by:

A columnist for the weekly Asian American newspaper Asian Week published an editorial entitled, "Why I Hate Blacks." Here is the original, taken from the print version of the paper.

It is, without question, one of the most jaw-droppingly racist screeds I've ever read in any publication outside of White Supremacist literature. In fact, it is so hateful, yet so bereft of actual logic and reason that while it makes sense for people to be up in arms at Eng, one really has to question:

WTF was Asian Week's editors thinking running this?[1]

Maybe times are tough over there in terms of finding freelance columnists but Eng's previous posts included screeds against White and Asians (no doubt, "Why I Hate Latinos" was just waiting in the chamber). Nonetheless, it boggles the mind how any editor, at any publication of even minimal repute, could have let this run. It goes beyond free speech; this is hate speech and it's poorly written, unfathomably stupid hate speech at that.

Just how stupid?

Usually, on occasions like this - think Michael Richards or Tim Hardaway - people would say, "we should use this as an opportunity to build dialog." Such a course of action might make sense in times where one can see the possibility for actual communication and growth. However, when your argument basically says, "Blacks are weak because they didn't fight slavery" backed with, "The Japanese beat the Russians, ergo we must be superior"[2], it's clear you're dealing with someone with severe mental deficiencies. My two year old displays more rational thought and she's not even potty trained yet.

Of course, Eng isn't just any moron. He is, by self-description, "the youngest published science fiction novelist in America." No...he's "a genius." Nay..."a god." His blog on Amazon suggests someone who is quite possibly suffering from some kind of high-functioning autism (hence his lack of empathy and seeming disconnection from people around him) compounded with a delusional Messiah complex. (By the way, his sci-fi book on dragons sounds eerily like a real world version of this).

So yeah, I'm not sure what kind of "constructive dialog" can be taken from this. Eng doesn't need an intervention or a sit-down. He needs a ____down, preferably by a rainbow coalition of folks so that they may actually help earn the prejudicial feelings he has towards, well, everyone.

There can and should be many opportunities for Asian Americans and African Americans to engage in frank and honest conversations with each other. I just don't think Eng's rant should be that starting point unless people really need to "discuss" whether enslavement is really a sign of "weak-will." (I don't normally want to punch people in the face but the urge is palpable, you know?)

At least Asians and Blacks can likely agree on one thing: K.E. is a certifiably [pick your favorite pejorative].

In addition, I'd be very surprised if the editor at Asian Week doesn't lose his job over this and frankly, it'd be well-deserved.

Sadly, if you read some of the comments on that Hyphen post, there's actually a few people trying to defend the column. Looks like stupidity amongst the Asian community isn't limited to just meglomaniacal authors of bad fantasy novels.

---

[1] I actually used to be an Asian Week columnist, back in 1994. The newspaper was the first publication to give me a freelance gig. The newspaper has often times - and unfairly in my opinion - been derided simply because their owners, the Fangs, are an old school, S.F. power-broker family that tends to play their politics opportunistically depending on the ways the winds of power shift. However, the newspaper itself is decidedly LEFT LEANING and has been, in my opinion, a very good advocate of Asian American social issues and news over the years.

It's a shame if Eng is going to destroy the previous years of good work that's gone into the newspaper but then again, any publication that would have let this column slide will deserve whatever fate awaits it.

[2] The whole Russo-Japanese bit was especially confusing since a) Eng is Chinese and not Japanese. B) The Japanese were not slaves when they went to war with Russia. C) After smashing Russia, Japan subjugated China (I guess the Chinese must be "weak-willed" too). D) Japan lost WWII.

--O.W.

BOLD ACTS OF SELF-INCRIMINATION

Colognes and Big Stones

I don't know who this naked man above is, but I am in awe of the size of his manberries.

Homie, who goes by the aliases Watson and Casilla, snapped a photo of himself and used it to create a fake two-page Gucci ad. He then called up a major Swiss weekly publication for advertising space, posing as a public-relations representative for Gucci, and asked that the $49,100 bill be sent to Gucci.

The fake ad was published and this man is now a famous Gucci model.

Brilliant.

The only problem, of course, is that he's under investigation for fraud and the police know exactly what he looks like.

I can't really fault the publication for running the ad. It is quite convincing and certainly looks as real as Gucci's latest ad campaign, seen below:

(Hattip: Adfreak.com)

*

In other self-incriminating news, today's LA Times includes this photo of a high school student tagging a bus:

Here's some free legal advice to all the taggers out there:

1. Don't tag a bus with a half dozen witnesses behind you.
2. Don't tag a bus when the Mayor of Los Angeles is on the bus, staring right at you.
3. Don't tag a bus when the Mayor has invited an army of reporters on board the bus to document his campaign to clean up the neighborhood.
4. Don't tag a bus when multiple camera and video camera lenses are aimed right at you.
5. Don't tag a bus when the principal of the adjacent school, which you attend, can immediately identify you based on the picture of you in the LA Times.
   

--Junichi

CAN'T TEACH A DEAD DOG NEW TRICKS

I am not a crook

Since I teach at a law school, I read up on cases that pose pressing legal issues, like this one, which addresses the long-unanswered question of whether a man can be convicted for having sex with a dead dog, even though state law does not explicitly say that it's illegal to have sex with a dead dog.

For the laymen who don't know fancy legal terminology, the defense counsel's legal position is known as the "Law Does Not Explicitly Say That It's Illegal to Have Sex with a Dead Dog" defense.

(This tactic is often mistaken with the obscure but powerful Chewbacca defense.)

While we await a verdict, let us scrutinize the above screen capture from the Bay City Times and observe how the Defendant looks a lot like Vice President Dick Cheney.

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #95

My roommate is not hot. My roommate is not hot. Must ignore.

This Week's Question:

Should all colleges and universities offer the option of co-ed dormitory rooms?

On a related note, if you had a college-age child, would you mind if he or she were randomly assigned to a roommate of the opposite sex?


(FYI: As of now, at least 20 schools have begun to give undergraduates the option of being placed in residence hall rooms without regard to gender. This trend of eliminating gender barriers in roommate assignments is motivated, in part, by the desire to accommodate transgendered students.)

--Junichi

THE NUMBER 23

Pink slipped

After the sisters of sorority Delta Zeta on the DePauw University campus were seen as "socially awkward," the national Delta Zeta officers intervened and axed 23 members from the house.

At first, I assumed that it was no coincidence that the 23 evicted women (many of whom are in the picture above) included every overweight person, as well as every black, Korean, and Vietnamese member.

I also found significance in the fact that none of the 23 women in the picture above look like the ladies below.

But in light of Jim Carrey's latest movie, The Number 23, losing at the box office this weekend to a horrendous Nicholas Cage flick in its second week, I'm going to run with the theory that the number 23 is just cursed.

After all, educated women wouldn't discriminate against other women, would they?

--Junichi

WHO SHOULD WIN

Not Lost in Translation

I feel surprisingly indifferent about most of this year's Academy Award categories.

As usual, many of my favorite films were shut out altogether from Oscar love: V for Vendetta, Thank You For Smoking, Inside Man, Word Play, Lucky Number Slevin, Hollywoodland, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and at the risk of sounding biased, Shut Up and Sing.

I will admit enthusiasm, however, over the fact that 2006 was a relatively good year for racial and ethnic diversity. I'm amazed that eight out of the twenty acting nominees are people of color. I'm also psyched about three Mexican directors being honored for their work.

When Dima and I went to see Babel, we were both amazed to see a film that not only incorporated all four of the languages that we (kinda sorta) collectively speak -- Arabic, Japanese, English, and Spanish -- but also highlighted my penchant for urinating in bed pans and flashing my junk to strangers.

That said, despite seeing most of the nominated films, I feel ho-hum about most of the categories. Here below are the ones I do feel invested in:



Argentine musician Gustavo Santaolalla won this award last year for Brokeback Mountain -- and quite frankly, he didn't deserve it. His work was minimalist and non-essential to that film. But in Babel, his score -- especially for the scenes in Morocco -- provided the perfect haunting sonic background to the film's three international settings. The instrumental track, "Bibo No Aozora," which features Japanese composer Ryuichi Sakamoto, is one of the best closing songs of any film.

Was there even music in The Queen? I'm not joking. I don't remember a note.




Alan Arkin deserves something for the amazing feat of stealing every scene in which he appears as a horny, heroin-snorting grandfather in Little Miss Sunshine.

Eddie Murphy will probably win, even though he doesn't deserve it. (Interesting side question: does Norbit hurt his chances -- for obvious reasons -- or does it help him because it allows the Academy to send Eddie the message that he should stick to more serious and respectable fare?)

Mark Wahlberg shouldn't have been nominated, although I don't mind him getting belated kudos for Boogie Nights. Ben Affleck, whom I normally abhor, was terrific in Hollywoodland, and should have replaced Marky Mark on the ballot. (Granted, Pearl Harbor was so bad that Affleck should be blacklisted for another decade or so.)




Rinko Kikuchi in Babel delivered one of the best acting performances of any human being in the last five years. Without saying a word. I can't imagine any other person anchoring a movie about global crises in the role of a deaf, volleyball-playing girl in Tokyo so desperate for intimacy that she tries to tongue-kiss her dentist.

Call me a hater but Jennifer Hudson's performance in Dreamgirls amounted to no more than a fantastic night on American Idol. Her voice was amazing, but her acting wasn't even half as good as Shareeka Epps in Half Nelson or Maribel Verdú in Pan's Labyrinth, who both shamefully failed to make the cut.





In making the excellent United 93, Paul Greengrass could have exploited a national tragedy and made it into a jingoistic TV movie of the week. He could have made the terrorists one-dimensional movie villains and made the passengers into Hollywood heroes. But he didn't. He didn't even make "Let's roll" into a catchphrase. Instead, Greengrass made what feels like a real-time documentary from the eye of a poet. As I noted in this DVD review, Greengrass' commentary demonstrate how much careful thought and research he put into this painful but exhilarating film.

Scorsese is obviously long overdue, but giving him an Oscar for the mediocre The Departed is almost as ridiculous as giving him an Oscar for directing Michael Jackson's video for "Bad."

Stephen Frears directing a surprisingly entertaining film about a subject in which I have very little interest. But most of that credit should probably go to Helen Mirren, Michael Sheen (a doppelganger for Tony Blair), and the screenplay. Most of the time, I felt like I was watching a really good TV movie of the week, which isn't saying much.

--Junichi

RAP DAWGS CAN GET NEUTERED

Rap Cat: Meow Meow
From MP3 (Rap Cat, 2007)

Can the Lil Wayne remix be too far off?

I'm not sure where this fits on the whole "hip-hop: art or poison" spectrum.

More on the Rap Cat.

(Credit: Soulstrut.com)

--O.W.

TAKEI TAKES TIM TO TOWN

--O.W.

BUSH FORCES POOR TO TRANSFER MONEY TO THE WALTON FAMILY CUZ GOD KNOWS THEY NEED IT

I do want to express myself and I need 37 pieces of flare to do it.

Shocking statistics from the latest column of Matt Taibbi (who received the tip from Senator Sanders' office):

Not only does [the Bush budget] make many of Bush's tax cuts permanent, but it envisions a complete repeal of the Estate Tax, which mainly affects only those who are in the top two-tenths of the top one percent of the richest people in this country. The proposed savings from the cuts over the next decade are about $442 billion, or just slightly less than the amount of the annual defense budget (minus Iraq war expenses). But what's interesting about these cuts are how Bush plans to pay for them. ...

If the Estate Tax were to be repealed completely, the estimated savings to just one family -- the Walton family, the heirs to the Wal-Mart fortune -- would be about $32.7 billion dollars over the next ten years.

The proposed reductions to Medicaid over the same time frame? $28 billion.

Or how about this: if the Estate Tax goes, the heirs to the Mars candy corporation -- some of the world's evilest scumbags, incidentally, routinely ripped by human rights organizations for trafficking in child labor to work cocoa farms in places like Cote D'Ivoire -- if the estate tax goes, those assholes will receive about $11.7 billion in tax breaks. That's more than three times the amount Bush wants to cut from the VA budget ($3.4 billion) over the same time period.

Why are we not rioting again?

--Junichi

恭喜發財

If a pig had a personality like Dakota, it would not cease to be a filthy animal.

Welcome to the Year of the Pig!

Here's wishing all lunar Poplicks readers a Happy Lunar New Year.

Unfortunately, this Year of the Pig is apparently supposed to bring much tragedy. According to this WaPo article, we are to expect "epidemics, disasters and violence in much of the world."

(In my mind, the signs of the apocalypse are evident in the above photo where this year's animal is being cradled by Dakota Fanning, who recently announced that she is going to be raped in her next movie. Yikes.)

Of course, the article's forecast of tragedy is based on the analysis of a "Hong Kong feng shui master." That man is clearly yanking the reporter's chain in the same way that all Chinese people are pretending like "feng shui" is anything but a practical joke played on non-Asian people to make them needlessly rearrange their furniture.

Regardless of whether fire and bombings lie ahead in the year of the swine, here's hoping it's a happy new year. During the next 12 months, may we redouble our efforts to convince more people to pay for Chinese character tattoos that secretly translate to ...

... What What (In The Butt).

--Junichi

ON THE XM-SIRIUS MERGER

An uncivil union

Today is another sad day for music. I'm gravely disappointed to hear the news that XM and Sirius are planning to merge.

Even though FCC rules forbid one from buying out the other, their financial problems will probably lead to an approval of the merger, especially with this monopoly-friendly administration. I doubt XM or Sirius stockholders will stop this unholy marriage.

Even though this merger will surely lower both of their operating costs, this money-grubbing alliance can only lead to higher monthly fees in the future, more commercials, and the eventual squashing of voices and artists that satellite radio has managed to introduce into many pockets of the continental US.

I happen to spend a lot of time listening to both XM and Sirius, since I have Sirius in my car and Dima's car has XM. I've listened to so many hours of multiple channels on both companies that I can easily articulate the differences between the two.

Most of the differences are apparent in the channel listings:

• Sirius has The Howard; XM has a very poor substitute.
  
• XM has Air America; Sirius has TalkLeft, which is a horrendous excuse for progressive radio.
• Sirius has chill and downtempo electronic music; XM doesn't.
• XM has movie soundtracks; Sirius doesn't.
  
• Sirius carries NPR; XM doesn't.
  
• XM has a reggaeton channel; Sirius doesn't.
  
• XM has a talk channel devoted to the black community; Sirius has one devoted to the gay and lesbian community.
  
• XM has baseball; Sirius has NFL.

There are also serious differences one can't easily detect on their channel listings:

• For starters, Sirius's music channels are all commercial-free. XM claims to have commercial-free music, but many of the stations have started to play commercials -- and annoying ones, to boot.

• Sirius's traffic/weather channels force me to listen to Phoenix's freeway accidents and thunderstorms before getting to San Diego's. XM has one channel devoted to San Diego.

• Sirius has Boombox, which is, in my opinion, the best music channel in corporate radio history: breaks, hip hop, electronica, mashups, and genre-defying funk. There's no other station like it on XM or anywhere else.

• Sirius also carries additional channels that cross genres: Faction, for example, plays hard rock and hardcore hip hop. Super Shuffle literally plays everything.

• XM has a much better comedy channel; the Sirius comedy channel is often dominated by Jim Breuer's painfully unfunny non-jokes.

• I think Sirius has more uncensored channels; most of the XM channels seem to bleep out the bad words.
  

I personally prefer Sirius over XM because Sirius has the much deeper playlist on most of their rock, pop, and hip hop stations. (During a two-hour drive yesterday listening to XM, I think I heard The Fray on about 10 times on 10 different channels.)

However, XM has steadily improved its catalog over the last two years. And that's what matters.

The obvious point of this rambling post is that the competition between XM and Sirius has forced both to constantly offer more diverse programming, deepen their catalog, cater to specific groups (e.g., there's a Korean language channel on Sirius!), and, to some extent, play fewer commercials.

But after an XM-Sirius merger, I can easily imagine that satellite radio will soon be only marginally better than terrestrial radio, which is like saying that herpes won't be as bad as cancer.

*

Update: The Onion chimes in on the matter.

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #94

Scrota-nized

This Week's Question:

Susan Patron's children's book, Higher Power of Lucky, is this year's winner of the Newbery Medal, the most prestigious award in children’s literature.

However, many elementary school libraries have banned the book because it begins with the 10-year-old heroine hearing another person talk about watching a rattlesnake bite his dog's "scrotum."

Should elementary school libraries ban the book because of its inclusion of the word "scrotum"?

--Junichi

FOUR-WAY TIE FOR BEST NEW MUSIC VIDEO

"What What (In The Butt)" - Samwell




"Chori Chori" - Aneela ft. Arash




"Konichiwa Bitches" - Robyn




"How Well Can You Swim" - Panther

--Junichi

THE DEATH OF THE OWL

Endangered Species

Here is a letter that Oliver and I received via email:

Oliver and Junichi

I want to keep this informal. I represent Tootsie Roll Industries on trademark matters.

While your blog/site has a lot of fun material, we need you to remove the Tootsie Roll owl logo. The logo, like other intellectual property of Tootsie Roll, is very important to the company. We cannot take the risk that anyone uses the company's marks in an uncontrolled manner. Since it is a famous mark, your use would be considered dilution of the brand. While your use may not be a problem, if you are allowed to continue to use the mark, then others with troublesome material will be able to argue that we are inconsistent in our enforcement and thus we have no right to stop them.

We expect that you understand, and we appreciate your cooperation.

Thanks.

Douglas R. Wolf
Wolf Greenfield
Specialists in Intellectual Property Law

[Contact info removed]

Hence, as of this weekend, you won't see the owl anymore on this website.

I wonder if Mr. Wolf also sent a similar letter to the 69 Boyz for their song "Tootsie Roll." After all, "Cotton candy / sweet & low / let me see that Tootsie Roll" is the much more serious dilution of the brand.

---

FROM OLIVER: New logo up. I'm sure we won't run into intellectual property issues with this, right?

;)

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #93

Skyscrapers on a street of single-level houses

This Week's Question is also a quiz:

The image above captures the page-view statistics for Poplicks.com over the last 30 days. As you can see, for the first twenty days, the average number of daily page views consistently remained around 2500. Then, on February 8, the numbers suddenly skyrocketed, reaching as high as 22,500, on February 9.

What explains this jump?


(And yes, I do know the answer.)

--Junichi

A REPORT FROM THE GRAMMY AWARDS

He gotta big weed stash / pocket full of cash / just seen a big ol' Grammy

I'm happy to report that my article, "The Chicks Have Arrived," the exclusive report from backstage with the Dixie Chicks, is now live on MSN.

Although much of the essay focuses on the Chicks' five-Grammy win, there is a small portion that focuses on the two most important events of the evening:

1. I urinated while standing next to Smokey Robinson.

2. I defecated next to Lionel Richie.

Wow!

*

No matter what you may think of the Grammy Awards, I felt quite humbled, blessed, and awed while there. Here are a few observations from the Grammy Awards that didn't make it into the article:

• Ludacris is not a very tall man. My photo above strangely captures the insignificance of his height. When I passed him in a narrow corridor, I almost felt comfortable enough to yell out, "Move b!tch, get out the way!" Of course, he's still got a good inch or two on me.

• On the other end of the height spectrum, Imogen Heap is one skyscraper of a woman.

(I'm disappointed, by the way, that Imogen didn't win for Best New Artist. Although, on the upside, that award seems to be a curse -- hello, Milli Vanilli! Men At Work! Plus, her winning "Best New Artist" in 2007 would have been ridiculous since I first heard her on mainstream radio almost a decade ago.)

• I'm afraid that Beyonce is a robot. I saw her three times and she had no emotion on her face. Ever.

• On my second time entering the Staples Center with the Dixie Chicks, I was denied entry by security because they found the camera I had stashed in my backpack. The Chicks and their managers made a brief appeal on my behalf, but it made no difference, to my shock. Then, while I waited for further instructions, Timbaland approached the doors. He hadn't picked up his tickets in advance, however. He was therefore denied entry, despite the fact that he was obviously Timbaland and one of the night's presenters and nominees. The man was none too happy about the situation.

• Paul Wall's grillz can be seen from a mile away.

• Especially when in the presence of so many great artists, most celebrities seemed to keep their ego in check. I caught only two people walking around as if they were royalty: Carrie Underwood and Wyclef Jean. To be fair, I only saw them for a few seconds, and I'm probably biased from hearing reports that Carrie Underwood is a big diva. But whereas most celebrities tried to blend in with their handlers, Carrie and Wyclef both walked as if they were heading for their own coronation at Buckingham Palace.

• Speaking of royalty, Queen Latifah was standing next to me while we were watching The Police perform on a backstage monitor. The Queen definitely likes The Police. Her continual colorful commentary also suggests that she would be a great friend to watch TV with. She's probably the only person who always looked like she was having a good time.

• Most intimidating squad of bodyguards? Chamillionaire.

--Junichi

LORD OF THE RINGS CHANNELS WALRUS OF LOVE

--Junichi

MEL GIBSON'S SIGNS OF ANTI-SEMITISM

--Junichi

GRAMMY GRUMBLINGS

stop staring at her lovely lady lumps
I am almost sure that Junichi will have a very different view on the Grammys given that he, y'know, was there as part of his "Best Gig Ever"™ duties, blogging with the Dixie Chicks, who swept up tonight. I'm sure the Chicks are too gracious to just lay it out there but this should a nice little "f--- you" to all the knee-jerk country fans who betrayed them back in 2003.

Then again, maybe country fans don't care about the Grammys. I know I certainly don't.

This may sound strange (or not at all) coming from a music journalist but I find the Grammys to possibly be the least relevant major popular culture award show vs. the Emmys and Oscars. Not like the Oscars don't get it wrong but as disconnected as the Academy can be, the Grammys voters seem even less in touch with the pulse of musical America. Even more than me.

The Grammys are often accused of simply pandering to the popular albums but while this isn't wholly inaccurate, it's not exactly spot on either. Case in point: the Chicks' "Not Ready to Make Nice" won both Song and Record of the Year, beating the much more heavily favored (and ubiquitous) "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley, not to mention James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" (a song for whom the term, "overexposed" would be far too mild).

To put this in context, whether you're looking at the Billboard charts or critics' polls, the Dixie Chicks' song doesn't outdo either which means, effectively, the Grammys manage to be out of step with BOTH pretentious music scribes such as myself AND the general public. (This isn't a diss against the Dixie Chicks, whose "redemption" brings a smile to my lips for reasons already stated, but objectively speaking, I just didn't think they deserved the win for Song or Record of the year).

In any case though, as a hip-hop fan/writer, the Grammys have almost never gotten it right and this year is no exception. Makes you wonder who actually gets to vote in that category and whether most of them actually listen to hip-hop. To wit, here's the sole places where they arguably got it right:

BEST RAP SOLO PERFORMANCE
"Touch It," Busta Rhymes
"We Run This," Missy Elliott
"Kick, Push," Lupe Fiasco
"Undeniable," Mos Def
"What You Know," T.I. WINNER
(never mind that the other four songs probably shouldn't have been nominated to begin with).

BEST RAP PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP
"Ridin," Chamillionaire Featuring Krayzie Bone WINNER
"Georgia," Ludacris & Field Mob (Featuring Jamie Foxx)
"Grillz," Nelly Featuring Paul Wall, Ali & Gipp
"Mighty "O"" Outkast
"Don't Feel Right," The Roots
(some really questionable nominations here too but whatever)

Here's where things just make no sense whatsoever:

BEST RAP SONG
"It's Goin' Down, (Yung Joc)
"Kick, Push," (Lupe Fiasco)
"Money Maker," (Ludacris Featuring Pharrell) WINNER
"Ridin," (Chamillionaire Featuring Krayzie Bone)
"What You Know," (Donny Hathaway, Leroy Hutson & Curtis Mayfield, songwriters (T.I.)

BEST RAP ALBUM
"Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor," Lupe Fiasco
"Release Therapy," Ludacris WINNER
"In My Mind," Pharrell
"Game Theory," The Roots
"King," T.I.

First of all, even Luda fans will be the first to admit that "Money Maker" was pretty weak and what I have a hard time understanding is how "What You Know" wins for Best Rap Performance but not Best Rap Song.

Second of all, the fact that Pharell's album, arguably one of the worst major rap albums of 2006 was even nominated is a joke but that Ludacris' Release Therapy, probably the most mediocre album he's put out in years, won over King (#1 with the proverbial streets) and Game Theory or Food and Liquor (backpackers' choice) is laughable. I would surmise that even Luda would have to admit that his fellow ATLian had the superior album this year, by far.

And last, but certainly not least, this should tell you everything and anything you'll ever need to know about the wisdom of the Grammys:

BEST POP PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP WITH VOCAL
"My Humps," The Black Eyed Peas WINNER
"I Will Follow You Into The Dark," Death Cab For Cutie
"Over My Head (Cable Car)," The Fray
"Is It Any Wonder?," Keane
"Stickwitu," The Pussycat Dolls

I rest my case.

I do look forward to Junichi's behind-the-scenes report from the Grammys though.

--O.W.

BARACK - BE REAL BLACK FOR ME?

One of the more interesting angles of criticism that Barack Obama is enduring at this early point in his (soon to be) Presidential bid is perhaps one that most wouldn't expect: he's not Black enough for some critics.

For background, here's NPR's Mary Curtis summing up some of the key issues. You can also view this NYT article. There's also Debra Dickinson's Salon.com piece, "Colorblind" that flat out says, "Obama isn't Black."

And why isn't the junior senator from Illinois earning his certificate in Official Blackness™? Two primarily reasons: the lesser is that he has a white mother though this probably takes second chair to the bigger reason that's being cited: his father is from Kenya. Ergo, Obama does not trace - in any obvious ways - his roots back through American slavery. By that virtue, Obama is presumed NOT to have an understanding of Blackness in the same way the majority of African Americans do on account of their generational connection to the wages of race, running back 400 years.

This isn't a new issue. As I think I've written about here, tensions between African Americans and West Indian immigrants has risen considerably in many cities, especially in the East, as these two communities have eyed one another warily. To distill the basics of that tension, African Americans see the West Indians are people who didn't have to pay the price for gaining the kind of civil rights and social benefits that are accorded to Black people. West Indians wonder why their American-brethren aren't as well-educated or upwardly mobile as they are. This is glossing over a lot more complexity but it still comes back to the same core points: that for some, Blackness is earned. Merely looking Black isn't enough.

What's ironic about part of this debate though is that, on one hand, the point being made is that Blackness isn't monolithic...except that, in the way that Dickerson frames it, Blackness actually IS kind of monolithic. She writes,

"At a minimum, it can't be assumed that a Nigerian cabdriver and a third-generation Harlemite have more in common than the fact a cop won't bother to make the distinction. They're both "black" as a matter of skin color and DNA, but only the Harlemite, for better or worse, is politically and culturally black, as we use the term."

I hear what she's saying here but does that mean that a third-generation Harlemite shares the same perspectives as every other African American (of slave-descent) in every other part of the country? Does the Blackness experienced or internalized by said Harlemite equal that of a Black person from Baldwin Hills? Or Chicago's Southside? Or Hunter's Point? The point here is that you can't have it both ways: either Blackness is a fixed identity (a philosophy that plays all too well into racist hnads) or it's broad enough to include a range of Blackness beyond just the authenticating force of slavery's legacy.

Personally, I think what this points out is that Blackness - as well as anti-Black racism - has at least two distinct dimensions: one is historical and one is experiential. The experiential basically would include anyone "who looks Black," at least, Black enough to suffer from the kinds of anti-Black racism that live within the immediate world of human, social interaction: catching a beatdown from cops, being unable to catch a cab, having people cross the street when they see you strolling, etc. For Black immigrants or children of immigrants, these experiences of racism help shape a shared sense of Blackness with others, regardless of genealogy.

However, there is also the historical element of race that arises from the legacy of slavery, of Jim Crow, of myriad laws and practices that have structured not just day-to-day discrimination, but also become embedded in any number of social institutions as well as within the collective psyche of America itself. This is, I think justifiably, a qualitatively different experience of race. After all, a racialized identity is more than the product of your skin color and hair texture. It's also the product of unique strands of history that cannot and should not be forgotten/glossed over even to forge bonds of solidarity with others who may resemble you on one level, but whose lives and experiences trace through very different times and spaces. To deny this difference is to do violence to the historical memory of America's unique brands of racism.

This all said however, I think it's incredibly shortsighted and parochial - not to mention politically moribund - to force that these distinctions be honored to the point of exclusion. I would think the point here is to use people like Obama to reflect the sprawling diversity of Blackness, as a way of suggesting and showing that there is no monolithic Black experience, that this community is built of myriad histories and peoples and that, to discuss "Black issues" means understanding that complexity rather than simply presuming that there's a single "Black agenda" or "Black point of view."

However, it's one thing to say, "Obama's Blackness is different from my Blackness." It's something else entirely to say, "he's not really Black," especially since, in the eyes of most non-Black Americans, these distinctions are completely meaningless. Call me crazy but my perception is that for the majority of non-Blacks, whether Obama's father was born in Kenya or Kansas makes very little difference.

Dickerson argues that one reason she's upset at Obama's popularity is because she thinks Obama's non-slave-roots gives Whites (liberal and otherwise) a pass on White Guilt since they view Obama as a "different" kind of Black person, one not encumbered with constantly reminding them about what their ancestors did to his ancestors[1].

That's an intriguing idea except that it, in my mind, gives "the average American" far too much credit into actually taking into account national origin when it comes to race. She only need to ask any Asian American or Latino American - whether first or fourth generation - if our experiences with other Americans is any different based on how long our families have been here. (Hint: the answer would, "hell, no.")

Some non-Blacks might see Obama differently from other African Americans but I have a hard time believing this is any more than a relative handful. If Obama were to make any kind of Presidential ticket, I doubt the majority of Blue or Red state voters would see him as the son-of-a-Kenyan-national-and-white-mother rather than, "that Black guy running for Prez/VP." It is, of course, unfortunate that Obama's Blackness will inevitably be an inescapable part of his campaign (just ask Harold Ford...or heck, Tony Dungy or Lovie Smith) but insofar as that's true, it seems highly doubtful that he'll be seen as anything BUT Black to the majority of voters deciding to cast for him or not.

In any case, I wanted to also take time to include the perspective of Joan Morgan, writing on Mark Anthony Neal's blog. Joan is Jamaican-born, South Bronx-raised and she has this to say, especially in regards to Dickerson's article:

"...it should be painfully obvious (and I'm mean painful as in post-verbal-ass-whooping painful) that when it comes to Blackness that African-Americans do not hold the monopoly. Nor do they hold the monopoly on the equally painful legacy of colonialism, slavery and imperialism that descendants of West African slaves have experienced around the globe. Same shit, different boat."

"...when are folks like me, we "Voluntary Immigrants of African Descent" considered Black? Because according to Dickerson and brother man in the barbershop it certainly isn't doesn't happen when I look in the mirror every morning and damn sure see a black face. I don't get that honorary pass every April 15th when I pay my taxes or on the daily as I raise my American born black son."

"When black people immigrate to America we are not at all exempt from the experience of being Black American and not only because we will inevitably be subjected to American racism. We learn your history. We absorb your culture. Some of us even acquire your accents. We do this as a matter of both acclimation and survival because we recognize the potential power we unleash by finding the distinct commonalities between our histories and our culture."

"Because really, the difference between rice and peas and black eye peas is hardly as great she, the barber or anyone else questioning Obama's blackness might think. It's the distance between stops on slave ship."

---

UPDATE: Just to hone in on part of what I'm skeptical about...one of the reasons that's been given for Obama's popularity - specifically amongst White folk - is that his immigrant heritage allows White, whether consciously or unconsciously, a free pass out of White Guilt over slavery. Just to be upfront, I'm already skeptical over whether White Guilt actually exists to begin with; I don't see a host of examples, especially in contemporary times, where a mass of White voters have done much in the name of resolving America's slavery past. In fact, the only people I usually see trotting out the White Guilt thesis is White Supremacists (or at least political conservatives) who argue that the only reason why policies such as Affirmative Action or the Fair Housing Act exist is because White liberals allow White Guilt to influence their actions. There's a grain of logic in there somewhere but to me, that would be called "White Responsibility" or better yet "social justice." But let me not digress.

So, if I understand the argument correctly, here's the thinking of the average Obama supporter (White): "man...that Obama sure is great! He's so articulate, so fresh, so clean. And best of all, because he's a 2nd generation immigrant, when I think of him, I'm not reminded of all the terrible things my ancestors may have done to Kunte Kinte and his people 200 years ago!"

Not being White, I can't speak from personal experience, but does that last thought actually enter into the minds of White people when they think about Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton or hell, Michael Jordon or Denzel Washington? Just so we're clear, I'm more than willing to believe that any number of racists thoughts may enter one's subconscious when Black and White meet but 1) White Guilt over slavery isn't high up that list and 2) I'm not at all convinced that someone like Obama wouldn't trigger White Guilt (if it exists)



[1] Given Kenya's colonial past with European powers however, who's to say?

--O.W.

A WORD FROM YOUR CO-SPONSOR

First of all, I think a major disclaimer/disclosure is in order here. Junichi decided to assign the new book, Total Chaos as the inaugural tome for "Poplicks Book Club" but he failed to mention (or possibly didn't realize): I have an essay in it. That should have been noted upfront since I don't want it to look like we (Poplicks) are trying to get people to buy a book that, indirectly, benefits one of us without it being very clear that we have a connection to it.

(Just to note: I got paid a flat fee so even this book sold more than The DaVinci Code, I don't get a royalty check or anything).

In any case, since we're on the topic of books and what not, I did want to mention that I have an essay in another book, this one academic: NYU Press' AfroAsian Encounters: Culture, History, Politics, edited by Heike Raphael-Hernandez and Shannon Steen. I have an essay in there about hip-hop and Asian American/African American relations, part of which was actually inspired by events on this very blog.

I also will have another essay, also in an academic tome, also on race and Asian Americans, appearing in the forthcoming Duke University Press anthology, Alien Encounters: Popular Culture in Asian America, edited by Thuy Tu and my former Berkeley classmate Mimi Nguyen (apparently, books with "Encounters" in their title is in vogue right now).

Last, but not least, I have a book review that appears in the new online academic journal, run out of USC's Annenberg School, the International Journal of Communication. It's a review of Hye Seung Chung's new book, a "critical biography" of actor Philip Ahn entitled, Hollywood Asian: Philip Ahn and the Politics of Cross-Ethnic Performance.

I'm not presuming that a ton of folks have an interest in my academic writing but given that it's a large part of what I actually do, career-wise, it seemed apropos to at least share it. At some point, I'll create a separate site that simply lists my academic writing (as opposed to popular journalism/criticsm).

--O.W.

POPLICKS BOOK CLUB SELECTION

This month's selection: TOTAL CHAOS: The Art and Aesthetics of Hip-Hop, edited by Jeff Chang

Order. Read. Come back here in a month. Discuss.

--Junichi

MTV'S NEXT BIG THING: JAN TERRI

One of my guilty pleasures is the extraordinary assembly of bad auditions for American Idol. Even when the judges are at their most cruel and vindictive, it never ceases to be entertaining.

After several seasons of soaking in the glory of William Hung and his progeny, I have built up such a tolerance fetish for "bad" music that I have watched the following music video (which has nothing to do with A.I.) almost every other day for the past two weeks:



Wow, that is hot. The brilliantly-edited video was made in 1993, although it feels like it was made today, assuming today is 1982.

Jan Terri is now my favorite aspiring female vocalist. Her addictive midtempo classic "Losing You" is not only destined to be the next big thing, but also the only thing that matters.

(Credit: Thanks to my Republican friend, A. Haden)

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #92

Superbad

This Week's Question:

In your opinion, should Tomi Rae Hynie be entitled to half of James Brown's estate?

Here's a timeline of the facts publicly available:

• In 1997, Tomi Rae Hynie married a Texas man, Javed Ahmed. She claims the marriage was simply to help him get a green card.
• In 2001, Tomi Rae and James Brown exchanged vows in a wedding ceremony. They have a child, James II.
• In 2004, the marriage between Tomi Rae and Ahmed was annulled.
• In 2005, James Brown sought to annul his marriage with Tomi Rae, but the legal proceedings were never finalized.
• Tomi Rae is now suing for half of James Brown's estate.

--Junichi

BAD STUDENT METAPHORS

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

Because I'm a writing instructor, I've had this list of "Bad Student Analogies and Metaphors" (see below) sent to me several times. This list was apparently culled by English teachers from actual high school students' essays.

Each time I review the list, however, the "bad" analogies and metaphors keep getting better.

Personally, I love #3, #4, #18, #21, and #22.

If any of those sentences were the first lines of a book, I would buy it and read it this weekend, just like the Sunday newspaper, which I buy and read every weekend.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Top eka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

--Junichi