FRIDAY FEEDBACK: CHEMICAL BROTHERS FEAT. FATLIP

What's up, Fatlip?

This week's Friday Feedback track is:

"The Salmon Dance" by The Chemical Brothers feat. Fatlip
from the forthcoming Chemical Brothers album, We Are The Night

Are you feeling this new Chemical track? Did the Pharcyde's Fatlip teach you fun facts about salmon? Or did you already know that salmon can float up toward Japan? Is the "Salmon Dance" going to to be this century's "Safety Dance"?

Leave your comments below.

--Junichi

THE ROBERTS SUPREME COURT

Reading through this week's Supreme Court opinions is harder than I thought

I've never been so horrified and disappointed to be proven right.

In just one term, the new Supreme Court has gutted decades of progressive-friendly precedent and made it clear that George W. Bush's longest-lasting legacy may be the appointments of Justices Roberts and Alito.

Tossing away any notion of stare decisis like a used condom, the new conservative majority -- Roberts, Alito, Scalia, Thomas, and Kennedy -- have brazenly flexed their new power by weakening crucial parts of even sacred opinions like Brown v. Board of Education. Just this week, they've delivered major victories to big business, decimated the speech rights of youth, and weakened taxpayers' rights to sue the government.

Justice Kennedy's reluctance to give Chief Justice Roberts a blank check is the only thing preventing the federalists and originalists from completely controlling the judicial branch and making the Death Star operational.

I'm still reading today's 185-page opinion in Parents v. Seattle in which the High Court struck down high school assignment policies in Seattle and Louisville that sought to integrate city schools by using race as a factor to diversify schools in relatively-segregated neighborhoods.

After skimming through it, the opinion doesn't seem to totally decimate every affirmative action policy or overrule the Court's decision in Grutter v. Bollinger, which upheld the use of race in law school admissions.

However, the opinion boldly trumpets the conservatives' "color-blind Constitution" ideology, which right-wing racists have been praying for the Supreme Court to adopt in order to disembowel major accomplishments of the modern civil rights movement.

I'll update this over the next few days as I digest everything and have my head reattached to my neck.

--Junichi

HOW A JUDGE WHO LOST HIS PANTS AND HIS SUIT STILL ENDS UP CLEANING OUT THE CHUNGS

A waist of epic proportions

By now, you've heard the news that the D.C. judge dismissed Judge Roy Pearson's frivolous $54 million lawsuit against the Chungs and their dry cleaning business.

But Pearson wasn't caught with his pants down.

In fact, as of now, the Chungs are the losers.

Why? Pearson didn't pay for a lawyer; he represented himself. He didn't lose much money, except for some minor court costs that the court ordered him to pay.

On the other hand, the Chungs could end up declaring bankruptcy. Unless the presiding judge makes Pearson pay for their legal expenses, they will have sunk about $100,000 into paying for representation.

That bill will only balloon if Pearson appeals, which he has threatened to do.

In other words, if Pearson's goal was to thrust the Chungs into financial ruin, he has prevailed.

Unfortunately, the presiding judge in this case won't decide this matter of legal fees until the appeals process is completed, which could take over a year. Moreover, even if Pearson is ordered to compensate the Chungs for their attorneys' fees, there's the issue of whether he is solvent.

(Side note: If Pearson is ordered to pay the Chungs' legal fees, this will not be a first for him. In Pearson's divorce proceedings, a Virgina judge said he created "unnecessary litigation" and ordered him to pay his wife's $12,000 legal fees.)

Regardless of what happens, here's hoping that Sponge-Roy-Square-Pants doesn't inspire other rich, litigious plaintiffs to bankrupt family businesses out of irrational vendettas.

*

You can help the Chungs by contributing to the Custom Cleaners Defense Fund.

*

On the bright side, this news did come with some horrible -- and by horrible, I mean excellent -- puns:

• NY Daily News: "Pressed wrong suit"
• Reuters: "Judge presses $54 million suit for lost pants"
• WaPo: "Pants Verdict: Judge Stuffs The Pants Man"
• NY Post: "He's Left Pant-ing"
• Seattle Times: "Plaintiff won’t pocket $54 million after losing lawsuit over pants"

--Junichi

DEVASTATING CAREER-THREATENING INJURY

The end of an era

Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi, the Lance Armonstrong of competitive eaters, has an arthritic jaw and probably won't be able to compete in this year's annual hot dog-eating contest at Coney Island.

On his personal website, he wrote, in Japanese, "Already I can't open my jaws more than just a little bit ... There's no pain only if I open my mouth about enough for one finger. More than that is painful and I can't open it."

Can I please get a moment of silence?

That's the equivalent of learning that Michael Johnson had his feet severed while on an amusement park ride or that Tiger Woods is too black to compete in the PGA.

Kobayashi's withdrawal means that the Yellow Mustard Belt will be worn by somebody else this July 4th, which will cause great shame to the country of Japan, which will mean that he will have to commit hara-kiri and ceremoniously rip open his stomach with a sword.

Unless, that is, I step in and attempt to win the belt in his name.

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #108

Good Vibrations

This Week's Question:

In India, sex toys are banned, but birth control is not.

Faced with sagging condom usage, Hindustan Latex Ltd., a government-owned company, created Crezendo condoms, which contain a battery-operated, vibrating ring-like device. According to the company spokesman, the ring serves as both a "pleasure enhancer" and "helps to hold the condom in position."

Given its ban on sex toys, should the Indian government forbid sales of the Credenzo condoms?


You can read more background on the controversy here.

--Junichi

SIZE IN AMERICA

Not the ideal Amazon woman

The images above and below are ads in Brazil for Fit-light Yogurt with a tagline that roughly translates to: "Forget about it. Mens' preferences will never change."

Each ad is obviously a remake of a classic movie scene with a larger woman.

Is it me or would these ads never work in the United States?

The women above look sexy, confident, and clearly appeal to a lot of different men (and women) I know who like a little fruit at the bottom.

Undoubtedly, these plus-size models would have no difficulty collecting digits in any corner of this country.

I've never been to Brazil. Do they worship emaciated stick-figure women?

*


I wish I was a little bit taller

In other size-related news, a joint study by Princeton and the University of Munich concludes that the United States now has the shortest population in the industrialized world.

The shortest!

(Click here to read the actual paper published in the Annals of Human Biology.)

Strangely, the paper makes no mention of any non-European country. Isn't Japan an industrialized country?

Regardless, Americans no longer tower over everyone else, as we did in the mid-20th century.

The Dutch now stand tallest at #1. And here I thought that marijuana and clogs stunted growth.

Interestingly, the study doesn't include Chicano/Latinos or Asian Americans in its calculation of the average American height. (Not that these groups would have raised the average height.)

But even if the results had included Asian Americans in the calculation of average American height, you couldn't put much blame, if any, on Asian Americans for our overall shortage. The average Asian American high school student today is probably close to the national average. In any event, I am grateful for those that have effectively diminished the short-Asian stereotype, Yao Ming?

One could simply dismiss this news with the oft-repeated/rarely-true mantra that size doesn't matter.

But this shawty ain't snappin' because Americans are shrinking, relative to other industrialized nations, because of our country's poor nutrition and health care.

I don't know about the veracity of any of these claims, but I do know that I am typing this with one hand while using my other hand to shove a second Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supreme into my mouth.

Hey Hans, can you grab me a napkin and some Robitussin from the top shelf?

--Junichi

WHOSE TRASH?

From SOHH.com:

"50 Cent, Snoop Dogg and Lil' Wayne are among seven rappers being targeted in billboards posted by a Chicago church for its "Stop Listening To Trash" campaign, which denounces rappers that demean women and perpetuate violence through their music.

According to NBC 5, St. Sabina Church put up twenty billboards across the city on Monday (June 18). The billboards read "Stop Listening To Trash," and also lists Nelly, Twista, Fat Joe and Ludacris.

"If we are going to end the violence and the disrespect of women, we must fight every form of negativity, including the music industry," Reverend Michael Pfleger told NBC 5. "When you disrespect women and you continue to demean a community or race by names and by language, that's unacceptable. We can kill with our words."

Local rapper Shala Esquire of the group Qualo, who admits to using profane language in his music, thinks the billboards are a good idea.

"I think the billboards are a bold step in a world that has been pretty cowardly lately," he said. "Hopefully it brings balance back to hip-hop so folks can move on to beeyatchin' about something else. I'm not going to say that we don't use certain words to depict the reality of life, but it's becoming kind of crazy and it's getting out of control. Don't fix the music, fix what causes the music."

Public Enemy front man Chuck D reportedly met with Pfleiger and Senator James Meeks on Tuesday (June 19) to discuss the billboards and rap music."

Of course, the irony? Look at who owns the billboards: Clear Channel. So basically, Sabina Church is PAYING one of the very entities responsible for spreading "trash" around. Brilliant.

(Thanks: Soulstrut.com)

--O.W.

FRIDAY FEEDBACK: DIZZEE RASCAL

Dizzee does another chin-up on his invisible bar

This week's Friday Feedback track is:

"Sirens" by Dizzee Rascal
from his album, Maths & English

What do you think? Why are snitches causing Dizzee to run from the law? Do Mr. Rascal's problems add up to 99?

Leave your comments below.

--Junichi

ANIMAL BRAIN-TEASERS

Are you smart enough .... HUMAN?

Ok, MacGyver, let's test your wits. Here, below, are three animal-related brain teasers for you to solve.

Question #1. You have a pit bull, a chipmunk, and a caterpillar. You need to get them all to the other side of a river, but the only way is to swing on a vine, which means that you can only carry one of them at a time. If you leave the pit bull alone with the chipmunk, he will eat the chipmunk. If you leave the chipmunk alone with the caterpillar, he will eat the caterpillar. How can you get all three across safely?

Answer: see comments

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Question #2. A 1000-pound cow has wandered into your backyard and fallen into your swimming pool. How do you get him out?

Answer: if you're udderly stumped, click the video below:

Note: If you do not carefully rescue the cow, you might sustain lacerations to your face.

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Question #3. A black Labrador is strolling down MLK Ave. during a total blackout that has plagued the entire city. Not a single streetlamp has been lit for hours. Just as the dog is crossing the middle line of the road, a souped-up Honda Accord with two broken headlights races towards her, but manages to swerve out of the way just in time. The driver does not have night-vision goggles or any other unusual equipment. How could the driver have possibly seen the dog to swerve in time?

Answer: see comments

*

Bonus question: What is the easiest way to get a non-flying squirrel to fly?

Answer:

--Junichi

ON THE WESTSIDE

cold-crushed
Ah, pity the poor rice rocket racers. Southern California police are now getting into the habit of crushing cars that they find modified with illegal/stolen parts. That seems a little bit overkill but it sounds like it's part of a zero tolerance crackdown on illegal street racing. Besides, if cops weren't putting modified Hondas in compacters, we'd never get glorious quotes like this one from 18 year old Charles Hoang whose '98 Integra got flattened:

"That's my heart, my dream. That's my girlfriend, the love of my life. The cops can crush my car, but they can't crush my memories."

Oh my, that's a rich, rich statement. Far be it for me - an L.A. boy raised on car culture - to question someone else's auto-love this kid sounds in need of a real girlfriend perhaps.

Meanwhile, up north in San Francisco: the lone Asian American member of the Board of Supervisors, Ed Jew, is under the heat lamp for alleged corruption charges. This case is drawing additional furor because Jew is a conservative in all otherwise uber-liberal city and some of his supporters are suggesting that Jew is the victim of a campaign of political purging with racist overtones. Seems like the race card here might be a bit of a stretch given the nature of the charges - that Jew lied about his residence when he filed to run and didn't actually live in the district that he now represents. That didn't stop his attorney from saying:

"I don't know if it's a Chinese thing or a political thing. Ed is conservative and follows his own drummer. But to have one supervisor ask why we had to wait for a trial — that smacks of Alabama before civil rights: Here's a rope. Let's get down to business."

The editor of the Sing Tao Daily gives statements like that the eye-roll:

"Ed Jew's friends are a small group trying to grab the media attention in his defense. The silent majority think that Ed Jew is stupid. There's something wrong with a politician who won't admit wrongdoing. Eventually, he will have to pay his own price. It has nothing to do with the Chinese community."

--O.W.

COMMENTS AT THE BODIES EXHIBITION

Yao Ming's uncle?

I just visited the most educational strip show in Las Vegas: BODIES ... The Exhibition, which displays nude, dissected human bodies in order to showcase their inner workings.

Once I got past (a) the sketchy origin of how the curators acquired these "unclaimed" Chinese bodies, (b) the freak show factor of looking at actual preserved corpses and fetuses, and (c) the fact that human meat looks indistinguishable from some of the entrees at the Treasure Island buffet, I was stunned to learn so much about the human body.

The stimulating exhibit had the effect of convincing visitors to take better care of themselves, especially after the anti-tobacco/drug/alcohol messages and the displays of actual syphilitic uteruses and blackened lungs. (Did you know that each pack of cigarettes takes two hours and twenty minutes off your life?)

Witnessing eyes and fingers on actual fetuses in early stages of development made me contemplate, for the first time in years, to my surprise, that divisive question of when life begins.

But the most entertaining -- and maybe most indelible -- part of the whole Bodies experience was the book of visitors' comments at the end of the tour. Tourists in Las Vegas may have trouble with spelling, but they have no difficulty leaving amusing feedback.

Since no photography was allowed, I used my cell phone to secretly document some of the more priceless comments written by visitors to the exhibit at the Tropicana:

"I think you shode not show balls to kids. It is inpropyit."



"Rizvan - age 4 - learned about bones and peoples and their bodies. His favorite part was the butt and the pee pee and the giant grown. And that's it. Thank you for entertaining ... my son today ... His Mom ..."



"Very entertaining and filled with lots fun facts most people wouldn't normally know. It was enjoyable for the most part and allowed me to feel like I was getting to know my body better. I now have a new appreciation for everything my body does. Thank you very much.

Peace,
Katie

P.S. Emma copied me in the book across from this one on the 6/15/07."



"What a trippp!!!!! We need more va-jay-jays! :)"



"Why wasn't I born today?!!
- Leonardo Da Vinci"



"Your mom wants her syphilitic uterus back."

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #107

Hairkini = what happens when you bet on the Cavaliers

This Week's Question:

Based on what American heterosexual women today find sexy, who has a right to be more insecure about their physical appearance: (a) men with lots of chest hair or (b) men who are unable to grow any chest hair?

--Junichi

THE YEAR OF ANGRY (AND POSSIBLY MENTALLY DERANGED) ASIAN MEN

Call it a hat trick.

Kenneth Eng
Seung Cho

...and now add Audley Yung to the list of "Toto, I don't think we're in 16 Candles any more" Asian men doing their best to stomp out the last remnants of the Model Minority Myth by - in this case - trying to firebomb it.

From the LA Times:

Ex-UC Riverside student held in firebomb incidents
Police believe he is behind the homemade firebombs that postponed graduation.
By Cara Mia DiMassa, Times Staff Writer
June 17, 2007

A former UC Riverside student was arrested Saturday in connection with a series of on-campus incidents — including the discovery of two homemade firebombs — that led to the cancellation of Friday evening's graduation ceremony, authorities said.

University police arrested Audley Yung, 22, originally from Richmond, Calif., at his off-campus apartment. They said they believed he was responsible for the firebombs, sending officials threatening letters and setting a palm tree on fire.

Yung was booked at the Robert Presley Detention Center on suspicion of possessing a destructive device, and of committing arson and making terrorist threats. Bail was set at $25,000.

Officials said they were still investigating, but that they believed Yung acted alone. They said their arrest was based on physical evidence and statements by Yung.

Yung, who entered the university as a biological sciences major and later switched his major to undeclared in the College of Natural and Agricultural Sciences, attended UC Riverside in 2002 and 2003, authorities said, and took summer session courses there in 2004, 2005 and 2006. He is not enrolled for the upcoming summer session.

The university resumed its commencement ceremonies Saturday under heightened security. Officials said Friday night's commencement on the campus has been rescheduled for Monday at 9 a.m., with tickets for the Friday event being accepted then.

More to follow...

--O.W.

FRIDAY FEEDBACK: KANYE WEST

George Bush doesn't care about flaming black people

This week's Friday Feedback track is:

"Stronger" by Kanye West
from his forthcoming album, Graduation

What do you think? Did you enjoy how he rhymes with Klondike? Are there better songs that reference Apollonia and O.J. Simpson?

Leave your comments below.

--Junichi

AN ODE TO BOB BARKER

The face of evil ... for pets that got spayed or neutered

I am truly, truly sad that Bob Barker is leaving The Price is Right.

Bob has been hosting TPIR as long as I -- and probably you -- have been alive. For me, he has always served as the universal constant of television icons, the quintessential embodiment of cool, the silver-haired distributor of delight. Although the multiple lawsuits from various "Barker Beauties" always cast a shadow on his integrity, I can't deny the overwhelming comfort and joy he bestowed on my life.

As cheesy as it sounds, I developed a more accurate and deeper sense of America because of Bob Barker. Always gripping his outrageously thin and long microphone, he brought military people in uniform, exuberant black women, retired RV travelers, and scantily-clad vixens into my living room when I was a little boy. (Little did I realize that those four groups of people had the highest chance of getting called down to Contestants' Row.) After enough sick days and ditch days at home, he helped to solidify my developing sense that most Americans are good, fun-loving, interesting, and supportive people -- although not always the brightest. (See videos below.)

When I finally saw Bob Barker face to face in the famed CBS studio and scrutinzed how he interacted with others when the cameras weren't rolling, I concluded he was even warmer and more genuine than I imagined.

I can't bear to watch his final show, airing on Friday, because it's the equivalent of watching my life end. Sure, that sounds hyperbolic and overdramatic, but I assure you that I feel more verklempt about this milestone than my high school graduation, my successful completion of the bar exam, or my passage into puberty, which began last Friday.

Plus, this means that I'll never have a(nother) chance to win that Showcase Showdown, which really does embody the American Dream, when you think about it.

You'll



be



missed,



Bob.

Thanks for pronouncing my name correctly and for autographing your headshot, which I still have framed. Enjoy retirement.

--Junichi

ROAD TRIP MIXTAPE SUGGESTIONS?

By The Time I Get To Arizona

I'm headed for a little roadtrip throughout the Southwest United States.

Feel free to contribute song ideas for my 12-hour mixtape.


P.S. I have a slight preference for songs that help keep me awake, although they don't all need to be Ministry's "Jesus Built My Hotrod." If somebody falls asleep on a roadtrip, we all know what happens ...

--Junichi

MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE - JUNE EDITION

One lawsuit away from bankruptcy

• Heard about Roy Pearson, the Washington, D.C. administrative law judge, who is suing his local dry cleaners for $67 million for losing his trousers? The family-run business owners -- Jin Chung, Soo Chung (see above), and their son, Ki Chung -- offered $12,000 (!) to settle the case, but Judge Pearson, the judicial branch's royal douchebag, refused anything short of $67 million. Despite nationwide mockery, Pearson insists on going to court, only lowering his damages estimate to $54 million. The trial begins tomorrow, as the Chungs slowly lose their life savings to defend themselves against these frivolous charges. Support the Chungs by contributing to the Custom Cleaners Defense Fund. (With thanks to AngryAsianMan.)

• The U.S. military needs -- and has long needed -- Arabic translators. Badly. Important messages went untranslated on Sept. 10, 2001 that might have prevented the attacks on Sept. 11. But in compliance with our indefensible national don't-ask-don't-tell policy, our military has now discharged over 58 badly-needed Arabic-speaking translators simply because of their sexual orientation. Stephen Benjamin is one of them; he wrote an op-ed for the NYTimes that should be igniting massive protests in Washington, D.C. Apparently, our country's homophobia trumps our need for national security.

In brighter legal news:

• Remember Genarlow Wilson, who was sentenced to a decade in prison for receiving consensual oral sex from a female 15-year-old high school sophomore while he was a 17-year-old senior? A Georgia state judge has finally voided the sentence against him and removed him from sexual predator status. Let's hope the state AG doesn't appeal. Update: the state AG appealed and Genarlow is still in prison. (Hat tip to J. Lo.)

• Also, in a victory for those who believe in enforcing the U.S. Constitution, the conservative Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals just ruled that the Bush administration can't detain an immigrant labeled an "enemy combatant" without charging him. The panel held that the Military Commissions Act doesn't strip Ali al-Marri -- who has been held in solitary confindement in a Navy brig for four years -- of his constitutional rights to challenge his accusers in court.
  
  

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #106

Is Hillary white enough?

This Week's Question:

Are you surprised that Hillary Clinton currently has more support in the black community than Barack Obama?

--Junichi

DROPPING THE GAY BOMB

Shaving Ryan's Privates?

You know that scene in Ocean's 13 where Matt Damon, donning a fake Steven Soderbergh nose, places a high-tech aphrodisiac on his neck and successfully lures Ellen "the Cougar" Barkin into lustful temptation?

Yeah, I thought it was ridiculous too.

But apparently, one military lab thought such an invention was a viable idea.

Through the Freedom of Information Act, the Air Force's Wright Laboratory was just forced to reveal that it had brainstormed the idea of a "hormone bomb" designed to make enemy soldiers more interested in frakking than attacking.

The 1994 proposal, requesting $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon, stated: "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior."

I'm pretty sure the author of the proposal was watching one of those soft-core Skinemax B-movies, not that I would know whether the plot of The Nympho Gun sounds similar to the proposal.

The Pentagon purportedly passed on the proposal to the highest scientific review body in the country before ultimately dismissing it.

I would laugh at this war plan ... except that it's better than our current one.

(Credit: Derek, R.S.)

--Junichi

FRIDAY FEEDBACK: R. KELLY

Double Up with R. Kelly

Starting today, I'm going to post a new song here every Friday to solicit Poplicks readers' commentary and help get your weekend started.

I'm not necessarily endorsing whichever track I choose. In fact, I'll minimize my commentary so as not to taint your opinion.

The inaugural Friday Feedback track is:

"The Zoo" by R. Kelly
from his new album, Double Up.

What do you think? Did you enjoy Kels's chimpanzee noises, Jurassic Park references, and avant-garde bongo-playing techniques? How does this latest slow jam compare to the genius that is "In The Kitchen"?

Leave your comments below.

--Junichi

THE ONLY CIRCUMSTANCE IN WHICH GOING TO JAIL CAN BE COMPARED TO FLEEING A NAPALM ATTACK

How crazy is it that Huynh Cong Út (a.k.a. Nick Ut), the Pulitzer-winning photographer who took the extraordinary photo above, is also the same guy who took the already-ubiquitous photo below?

I can't think of any other photo of a crying girl that is -- or is destined to be -- as famous as the above two.

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By the way, people have been egging me on to comment on Ms. Hilton with statements like:

Hey Junichi, knowing how much you despise Paris and how greatly you deplore a justice system that gives special treatment to the rich and how enraged you became when she was temporarily freed like some sort of scene from the Shawskank Redemption, you must be relieved to watch the porn star socialite being dragged back to jail, in tears, to serve her full 45 day sentence.

But I am refraining from sharing my schadenfreude publicly.

To ignore Paris Hilton is to make her irrelevant is to make the world a better place.

--Junichi

MR. ROGERS' NEIGHBOR'S HOOD

This video of Mr. Rogers learning how to pop and moonwalk is magnificent. It makes me respect him more ... until the last minute or so, at which point it becomes a little creepy.

Damn you, pedophiles, for ruining every innocuous interaction between a man and a young child!

(Thanks to Derek for passing this along through Facebook.)

Speaking of the FCC and Mr. Rogers, here's a best-of clip from Jimmy Kimmel's "Unnecessary Censorship," which is a brilliant late night gag. The bleeps are so good that sometimes I can't even determine the original clean word.

--Junichi

AIN'T NOBODY HUMPING A COUCH

Those who recall O-Dub's post about "what happens when kids watch too many R&B videos" and the subsequent creation of a watchdog group to advocate for ottomans' rights may enjoy the following prequel from sketch comedy group A Week of Kindness:

--Junichi

JAPAN'S CANDID CAMERA

Last week, my brother sent me these clips from a Candid Camera-style show from Japan. Initially, I had a good chuckle and didn't think much of them. (The clips don't have subtitles, but quite frankly, I don't think you need them to appreciate.)

But with each passing day, I have become increasingly obsessed with the legal ramifications presented by these clips. I've spent countless moments wondering about Japan's tort liability and whether their legal system provides for claims for intentional infliction of emotional distress and privacy invasions, not to mention punitive damages.

After watching these clips, you'll see that this show preys upon unsuspecting citizens suddenly thrust out into public in humiliating (but hilarious) situations -- often nude -- and, in two segments, possibly in the middle of a bowel movement.

My head swims with questions.

How many of the taped participants sign the release to appear on national television? How much money do the consenting participants get, if any?

And does the release ensure that the production company won't release an "unrated" DVD version where their jewels and junk are available for high-definition viewing en masse?

Also, judging by these clips, the odds are decent that eventually somebody will break her neck, suffer a heart attack, or be propelled into water without knowing how to swim. With a massage chair flipping people backwards onto snow or accelerating down a hill, how does this show protect itself against the possibility of serious or life-threatening injuries?

Finally, let's say someone is horribly embarrassed from being thrust into public naked, in front of her co-worker, and refuses to sign the release. Keep in mind that she didn't do anything to bring this upon herself. Can she bring a lawsuit in Japan? Can she get punitive damages? Does the Japanese legal system minimize the damages caused by such pranks?

I wonder whether the real cultural difference lies in the fact that Japanese adults are more frequently nude in front of each other because of the onsen or public baths.

The biggest question I ponder: Could this show happen in the United States?

I can't imagine it. Any network's lawyers would kill the idea immediately before the first day of taping. Even Fox.

This isn't like Fear Factor, American Idol, Flavor of Love, etc. (where participants sign up to be denigrated in advance) or Punk'd (where celebrities are the victims).

And unlike the arrested criminals in Cops or the adulterous suspects on Cheaters who are taped and humiliated on national television, these unwitting victims didn't bring the humiliation upon themselves and aren't as hard up for cash.

Most of all, this show involves scenarios far more outrageous than anything I've seen on Candid Camera, Wedding Crashers, Oblivious or The Jamie Kennedy Experiment, which, to my knowledge, never involved nudity or deuce-dropping.

As for me? Sure, I'd probably sign a release for a free t-shirt. (Oriental Guys Gone Wild, here I come!) But that's because I have little shame.

On the other hand, most people I know would refuse, rebuke, retaliate, retort with revenge, and/or request thousands in compensation after pinching a loaf in a porta-potty elevated by hydraulic lifts in public view. Just ask Chuck Berry's former female customers who successfully sued for over a million dollars, even though their footage never aired.

In conclusion, Japanese television is awesome.

--Junichi

THE FCC GETS THE SMACKDOWN

Cher = Not indecent (photo not included)

Today, the Second Circuit delivered a fantastic opinion for free speech advocates. The court of appeals essentially struck down the FCC's approach to profanity and gutted its right to fine stations for airing "fleeting" expletives.

This litigation stems, in part, from the FCC concluding that its ban was violated when the Billboard Music Awards inadvertently aired Cher saying, "Fu@k 'em" and, in a different year, Nicole Richie asking, "Have you ever tried to get cow sh!t out of a Prada purse? It's not so fu@kin' simple."

The surprisingly strong opinion slams some of the FCC's explanations for its language policy as "divorced from reality."

Best of all, the Second Circuit calls out the government on its hypocrisy by naming Bush and Cheney as violators:

Similarly, as NBC illustrates in its brief, in recent times even the top leaders of our government have used variants of these expletives in a manner that no reasonable person would believe references "sexual or excretory organs or activities." See Br. of Intervenor NBC at 31-32 & n.3 (citing President Bush's remark to British Prime Minister Tony Blair that the United Nations needed to "get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit" and Vice President Cheney's widely-reported "Fu@k yourself" comment to Senator Patrick Leahy on the floor of the U.S. Senate).

Brilliant. You can read the whole opinion here.

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin angrily responded to the opinion by saying, "Today, the Second Circuit Court of Appeals in New York said the use of the words 'fu@k' and 'sh!t' by Cher and Nicole Richie was not indecent."

Except that the FCC Chairman's statement didn't "bleep" the bad words like I did.

Ironic.

--Junichi

POPLICKS RADIO: JUNE 2007

Amerie didn't have time to fully change after her Foot Locker shift

Here's the track listing for this month's Poplicks Radio, available for your listening pleasure on the right column of this page:


"Late in the Evening / Tarde En La Noche" - Spanish Harlem Orchestra feat. Paul Simon

• New York City salsa is hot! I'm not much of a Latin music aficionado -- although I do own Los Del Chipmunks' cover of "Macarena" -- but I still have the hubris to declare that United We Sing by the Spanish Harlem Orchestra is one of 2007's best albums. On this track, Paul Simon busts out with some español and upgrades his own classic with the help of pianist and arranger Oscar Hernández.
  

"The Party" - Justice

• What do you get when you blend Three Six Mafia + L'Trimm + Daft Punk + Fergie + early 80s synth-based soundtrack music and mix it with French crystal meth? This acquired taste, off the uneven album, † (Cross).
  

"Sex Machine (Readymade Jazz Defector)" - James Brown

• As a rule, James Brown songs are never improved when remixed. But I'll be a damned licking stick if this track doesn't come close. This cut uses an alternative JB intro and a double-time ballroom beat to flip the script while still respecting the original. The album it comes from -- Dynamite X -- is strangely not available in the United States.
  

"Gotta Work" - Amerie

• Yes, this is an obvious rehash of the formula perfected by Amerie's "1 Thing." But who's complaining? To my amazement, Rich Harrison had nothing to do with this track or any track off the new album.
  

"Hospital Rooms Aren't For Lovers" - Bear Colony

• This song is perfect for people who think Death Cab for Cutie needs a drum machine and more morose and scatological lyrics.
  

"Supreme Evil" - Go Home Productions (ELO vs. Diana Ross & The Supremes vs. Michael Jackson)

• Go Home Productions has unleashed arguably the best mashup in history, and I don't say that lightly. The chord changes work perfectly - ELO's classic "Evil Woman" piano riffs sound as if they were recorded for both Michael Jackson's "Bad" and The Supreme's "Stop! In The Name of Love." Moreover, there isn't much outrageous chopping or tempo/pitch shifting. Plus, I can't get enough of ELO's eight-count string break that the Pussycat Dolls sampled for "Beep." Honestly, I'd much rather hear -- get ready for blasphemy -- this version of MJ's and Diana Ross's vocals.
  

"When Your Mind's Made Up" - Glen Hansard & Marketa Iglóva

• This is an A- song from a B+ movie, Once, which is the best ... emo anti-musical musical movie about a Hoover vacuum repairman who almost connects with a Czech immigrant in Dublin ... ever. While the movie and the soundtrack are a bit too subdued for summer, I appreciate the honesty of the songs. I'm highlighting this track because I'm a sucker for songs in 5/4 time signature.
  

"Innocence" - Björk

• Volta has turned out to be the third consecutive underwhelming Björk album, but "Innocence" is one of several gems that stand out. Anything that maximizes Timbaland's syncopated punching sounds and Björk's nonsensical soaring lyrics is worth everyone's attention.
  

"Yeah (Bhangra Remix)" - Usher

• I need somebody to send me or point me to some good bhangra tracks. I can't keep getting my fix off this old Usher remix/mash.
  

"How I Go" - Yellowcard feat. Natalie Maines

• Who would have guessed that Natalie's best vocals would show up on a sappy Yellowcard ballad? This is a guilty pleasure to the Nth degree. I'm impressed this song has resisted becoming the theme song to every other show on the CW.
  

"Take Me Home" - Brother Ali

• Now that I'm a paying subscriber to Legally Blind Albino Muslim Rappers Quarterly, I feel more confident in promoting yet another Brother Ali cut. The last verse of this song is sicker than Andrew Speaker. For the Sussudiophiles out there, it has nothing to do with Phil Collins' "Take Me Home," presumably because Bone Thugs N Harmony already ruined that unclassic for everyone. Cop the new album -- The Undisputed Truth -- and be more convinced that hip hop is not dead.

"Inversion" - Mark Ronson

• Mark Ronson apparently recorded some magic with a horn player, a rhythm section, a piano player, and a sample of someone's hiccups in reverb, but he couldn't find a 12th guest vocalist for the album. Thankfully, he made room for "Inversion" in Version. I get incensed every time it fades prematurely, however. Extended 12" single, please!
  

Hope you enjoyed. If you prefer to listen on a free-standing player, click below:

--Junichi

SAY WHAT? OH. OKAY.

(Thanks RJ)

--O.W.

ME SO HOLY

"Baby Got Bible" - originally found on GodTube.

No matter what you think of Christian rap, you have to admit that "I like 'em leather and bound" is clever.

(Credit: Rami/XicanoSF)

--Junichi