Friday, April 27, 2007

ACTUAL MOVIE TRAILER FROM 1977



Check out this unedited preview for a new space movie from the guy who directed American Graffiti.

The trailer is really fast-paced and the narration is really awesome. But I can't imagine that anyone is going to see a space movie now since Close Encounters of the Third Kind is coming out in a few months. I'm going to predict that this Star Wars -- worst title ever! -- will be lucky to make $50,000 in box office receipts, even if President Carter keeps letting inflation spiral out of control. Ha ha!

So who wants to go come over my house for a keys party? My mood ring suggest I'm feeling generous so the acid is on me. I just got one of those new Betamax machines and we can watch Bad News Bears.
--Junichi

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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

JUST BECAUSE

--O.W.

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Monday, April 23, 2007

CAN'T BLAME HIP-HOP ON THIS ONE (OR CAN YOU?)

From the NY Times
April 24, 2007
CBS Radio Show Hosts Suspended After Prank Call
By JACQUES STEINBERG
    CBS Radio suspended two hosts from an FM station in New York City today after an Asian-American advocacy organization complained about the broadcast of a six-minute prank phone call to a Chinese restaurant that was peppered with ethnic and sexual slurs.

    The call was first played on “The Dog House With JV and Elvis,” a midmorning show on WFNY, on April 5, the day after Don Imus made his comment about the Rutgers women’s basketball team on WFAN, another CBS-owned station. The call was then replayed on “The Dog House” on Thursday, a week after Mr. Imus was fired by CBS Radio.

    In the skit, a series of apparently unsuspecting employees of a Chinese restaurant are berated by a caller who tells one woman he would like to “come to your restaurant” to see her naked, especially a part of her body he refers to as “hot, Asian, spicy.” The caller also attempts to order “flied lice,” brags of his prowess in kung fu and repeatedly curses at several employees.

    In a statement on Sunday, the four New York-area chapters of the Organization of Chinese Americans, an advocacy group, demanded an apology from the show’s two hosts and from CBS Radio, and called for the firing of the hosts and their producer.

    In an interview today before the suspensions were announced, Vicki Shu Smolin, president of the organization’s New York City chapter, said she was mystified that CBS would allow the call to be broadcast in the first place and then would permit it to be replayed in the aftermath of the Imus incident. (“The Dog House” has been waging a broad campaign in support of Mr. Imus both on the show and on its Web site.)

    “I just see plain ignorance in the CBS management — of the community, of who we are, of what we’re all about,” Ms. Shu Smolin said. “If they don’t fire the D.J.’s, it will be a double standard.”

    She promised to rip a page from the playbook of the Rev. Al Sharpton, who led the charge for Mr. Imus’s dismissal, by staging protests of CBS Radio and boycotting advertisers on WFNY.

    “They don’t think they’re going to get any backlash from the Asian-American community,” she said. “They’re definitely wrong.”

    In an e-mail message sent this afternoon, a spokeswoman for CBS Radio, Karen Mateo, said that the two hosts, Jeff Vandergrift (JV) and Dan Lay (Elvis), had been suspended “without pay until further notice.” Mr. Vandergrift, Ms. Mateo said, had apologized on today’s show. The show, which began on WFNY (92.3 FM) in January 2006, can be heard outside the New York City market only via the Internet.

    Ms. Shu Smolin said she first learned of the “Dog House” broadcast on Saturday, in an article published by Ming Pao, a Chinese-language daily newspaper in New York. She said her organization had since sent e-mail messages to the general manager and program director of WFNY voicing its concerns, but had to resort to regular mail to reach Leslie Moonves, the president and chief executive of CBS.

    “I can’t get any contact info on him,” she said.

    It was, she acknowledged, an indication that her organization was not yet as media savvy as Mr. Sharpton’s.

Labels: asian americans, media, race

--O.W.

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COOPER V. CAM




I like Cam as much as the next guy...and mistrust of law enforcement and the criminal justice system isn't a mystery...but man...
    "If I knew a serial killer was living door to me...I wouldn't call and tell anybody. I'd probably move."

    "We don't make guns. Smith and Wesson makes guns. White people make guns and bullets."
Really Killa? Some guy lives next door to you and he's dismembering bodies in the bathtub and your first move is to call Belkins?

That said, if you want to talk about "kneejerk scapegoating," 60 Minutes is looking suspect right here, especially in paying the thinnest of lip service to the troubled, oppressive relationship between law enforcement and urban communities of color. Weird that they tried to get around this by blaming corporate America instead. Of course, I can't condone "stop snitchin'" as street law but this piece hardly makes the case it seeks out to. Anderson Cooper, however, has straight mastered the "I'm looking very, very, very serious" look.

(First spotted at Soulstrut.com)
--O.W.

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OP-ED-ING RACE, HIP-HOP


the real father of hip-hop?


Here's a few notable quotables from some recent opinionzing on the whole Imus, hip-hop, misogyny below. Just so we're really clear, I'm not in agreement with all the sentiments noted before (Taibbi's rant is especially problematic) but I think some of the polemics being made are worthy of discussion.

Jeff Chang and Dave Zirin: "Hip-hop's socially conscious side" from the L.A. Times
    "If all the overnight anti-hip-hop crusaders really cared about the generation they want to save, they would support the growing Media Justice movement led by hip-hop pioneer Afrika Bambaataa and such outspoken women activists as Malkia Cyril and Rosa Clemente. The group contends that such media powers as Emmis Communications and Clear Channel have corrupted hip-hop radio."

    "If hip-hop's critics paid attention to the hip-hop generation, they would learn that the discussion has already begun without them and that they might need to listen. Then a real intergenerational conversation could begin."

Matt Taibbi: "Imus Is Out, But Whitey Execs Get the Last Laugh" from Rolling Stone (republished by Alternet)
    "With very few exceptions almost everyone who jumped onto the Don Imus pigpile was a shameless opportunist whose mind was made up years before this incident even happened, and used the occasion of a radio jock stepping in shit to robotically jerk off his constituency for a cheap buck. First of all, let's just get this out of the way: the idea that anyone in the media world gives a shit about the dignity of women, black or white, is a ridiculous joke."

    "Satan himself couldn't have designed a more effective vehicle for marginalizing black culture than modern hip-hop."

    "...even worse was the way black politicians and black intellectuals so easily bought into the idea that these endless video images of gun-toting, ho-slapping black men with fat wallets, rock-hard tattooed abs and fully-accessorized rides were positive living symbols of "black empowerment" and "black manhood." Like Tupac was the next Malcolm or something."

    "You throw a couple dozen talented black artists mid-level stockbroker money and they'll be ho-calling bitch-slapping modern Bojangles acts till the end of fucking time. From Whitey's point of view that's a hell of a punchline. The mistake Imus made was saying it out loud."

    --O.W.

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QUESTION OF THE WEEK #102


Constitution waiting for six more shots to catch up with 50 cent


This Week's Question:

Do you believe that the strictest gun control laws would have prevented the Virgina Tech school shootings?


Labels: QOTW

--Junichi

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

POPLICKS RADIO: APRIL 2007


Keep your lip stiff / Keep your fist clenched


I've received emails from tons of cats asking the names of the songs that used to be on the Poplicks Radio playlist on the right-hand side of this blog.

Any by "tons of cats," I mean three people.

So that I may remain lazy about writing people back, I'll post the new playlist every time I change the records in the jukebox.

I'm firmly committed to not ever starting an audioblog -- who has time for my rambling thoughts on the nexus between leaked tracks from Suburban Kids with Biblical Names and the beats used on the first Spice Girls album? -- but I did add short commentary under each of the song titles.

In this month's mixtape:

"Rain Water" - Brother Ali
  • Brother Ali gets my vote for releasing the best hip hop tracks of 2007 thus far. For those in the dark - no pun intended - Brother Ali is a legally-blind Albino Muslim rapper from Minnesota (pictured above). The weakest track on his new album, The Undisputed Truth, is better than the best track that M.I.M.S. will ever record. "Rain Water" is apparently an older track but still deserving of radio play today.
"Dandelion" - Antje Duvekot
  • Antje Duvekot is my favorite singer-songwriter of the moment. Not since Ani DiFranco's "Both Hands" has a woman's voice and her guitar compelled me to immediately buy a CD after hearing a song just once.
"Rehab (Remix)" - Amy Winehouse feat. Pharoahe Monch
  • I realize Amy Winehouse is now so popular that your grandmother is bumping her retro beats and the cool kids have long since moved on. But most people haven't heard Pharoahe Monch's soon-to-be-dated cameo on this remix, which makes this song even more incredibly timely. I look forward to "Take my black ass to Rehab" being sampled ten years from now.
"ABC Breaker" - DJ Moule (Jackson 5 vs. Led Zeppelin vs. The Beatles)
  • This musical orgy shouldn't work because the "Heartbreaker" riff has a minor third and the melody of"ABC" uses the major third. But it does. And this proves that studying over a decade of music theory has not helped me to predict what will sound brilliant on my iPod.
"Bombay" - Timbaland feat. Amar & Jim Beanz
  • At last, Timbaland stops ripping off Eastern musicians and finally shares the spotlight (and royalties?) with South Asian vocalist Amar. You might've already heard Amar on a Nelly Furtado remix.
"Cause and Effect" - Art Hirahara
  • Art Hirahara is a Japanese American jazz pianist originally from the bay. I met him once because we share a few common friends and because JAs gather monthly to practice karaoke. The gorgeous "Cause and Effect" is one of many stand-out tracks from Edge of This Earth.
"Earth Intruders (Mark Stent Extended Mix)" - Bjork
  • Is there anything better than a Timbo and Bjork collabo? I can't wait for Volta to drop. Watching her dance on Saturday Night Live was kind of like watching an old friend at a wedding reception bust out the same awkward but charming dance moves unleashed at high school prom. Too bad Bjork's backup singers and horn section were stealing wardrobe ideas from the Polyphonic Spree. The music video -- which reminds me of Baby Einstein DVDs -- does nothing to shed light on the meaning of the lyrics.
"Case of the R A" - Tanya Morgan
  • Despite a woman on the cover of their latest album, Tanya Morgan is a group of three male MCs who exploit people like me hoping to discover the next great female rapper. This "cover" of the Leaders of the New School classic was a free download from the group's webpage.
"Simple Song" - Zebra
  • I know absolutely nothing about this 70s song or the group. But it sho is funky.
"Passenger Fever" - Peggy Lee vs. Iggy Pop
  • Too bad Peggy Lee passed away right when the Stooges reunited. This mashup suggests great potential.

By the way, why isn't Oliver contributing to this playlist, you ask? Since you're apparently one of two people in the galaxy who don't know about Soul Sides, you should check out Oliver's inscrutable ingenious musical meanderings at http://soul-sides.com.

Labels: Poplicks radio

--Junichi

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

MR. VENGEANCE


At risk of annoying Junichi by doing a popular culture read on the Virginia Tech massacre, I was stunned to see the above image, part of a set of pictures mailed to NBC News by Seung Cho on Monday morning. What is striking about this image is that it's a reference (one can only assume) to the South Korean cult film, Oldboy (the most celebrated scene being one where the protagonist takes on 40 thugs armed with only a hammer).

As anyone who has seen Oldboy can tell you - the entire movie is about vengeance and not just any kind of revenge fantasy, but long, intricate, pre-meditated, plotted-out vengeance. I don't think you need me to spell out why such a film would loom largely in the imagination of someone like Cho who - it is now relatively clear - was methodical about planning the massacre.

At the risk of being solipsistic - as an Asian American man opining on the actions of someone who happens also to be a Korean American man[1] - it seems worth noting that Cho would have turned to Korean pop culture - partially - to help build the kind of personal/social script of violence that he felt was necessary to resolve whatever issues existed in that dark mind. Undoubtedly, there will be some misguided (if not outright idiotic) media analysis that's going to "blame" Chan-wook Park's film the same way Marilyn Manson was cited for Columbine and certainly, that's not my point here.

Though I've been resistant to overplaying race/ethnicity in trying to analyze Cho's state of mind, I may have been protesting too much since if you're talking about alienation, marginalization, feelings of invisibility, etc. (all of which Cho rages against in his video), it's rather impossible to deny that these are all feelings that people of color - and Asian Americans in particular - are well familiar with. The difference is that 99.99999% of us have more constructive coping mechanisms to deal with those feelings (like, er, playing violent video games and listening to hip-hop?) than plotting the indiscriminate murder of others. That said, a racial analysis seems to have its place here even if I'm still hesitant with constructing an entire pathology out of it.

Likewise, I'm not at all suggesting Asian pop culture such as Oldboy or all of John Woo's gun-fu films planted ideas in Cho's head. It's far more likely that he simply found resonance in the characters and narratives of those films with his own fantasies of mastering violence and inflicting vengeance upon others.


[1] In reference to the previous post about Cho as "alien" vs. "American", the manifesto video he put out should, without a shred of doubt, confirm that Cho was thoroughly American on some very deep-seated levels. Sorry folks - we'll have to claim and his psychosis as partially ours. Can't pin this one on South Korea (even if they did apologize for him...something only an Asian society would do, you know?).
--O.W.

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THE OTHER BLOODY MASSACRE


Foreigners kill again


Wonkette
said it best:

Normal life came to a screeching halt today in America as news of an awful mass murder spread across the nation. Politicians canceled rallies, Congress delayed impeachment proceedings and office workers stopped their usual banal chit-chat about teevee shows or whatever for impassioned if still ill-informed discussions of gun control, violence and the dangers of creative-writing programs.

Ha ha, just kidding! This massacre happened in Iraq, which we totally ignore even though it’s all our fault.

Indeed, a staggering 200 people were murdered in the Iraqi capital today in four separate bombings, one that constituted the single deadliest attack in Baghdad since our invasion of Iraq began.

For those who like math, 200 = [Monday's death count at Virgina Tech] x 6.

Sadly, this tragedy probably won't make it above the fold in tomorrow's papers because the media finds it more urgent to psycho-analyze the Collective Soul song that Cho Sueng-Hui blasted on repeat before he went on a rampage.

Not to diminish the utterly devastating tragedy at Virgina Tech, but I do think these two massacres highlight the gross imbalance that we, as a country, place on Iraqi vs. American lives, even when we, as a country, are directly responsible for the death of the Iraqi lives.

Again, for those who like math, 1 American life ÷ 100 = 1 Iraqi life.

All in all, what a horrific week this has been. And it's only hump-day. (Sigh.)

Labels: Iraq

--Junichi

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THE EROSION OF CHOICE


John Roberts tells your uterus to talk to the hand


While the nation is distracted with a national tragedy, the Supreme Court has handed down a 5-4 opinion upholding a ban on the Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act.

This opinion won't affect most abortions performed in the United States. Nor does it eradicate a woman's right to choose.

But for women aborting a fetus as early as the twelfth week of pregnancy, the ban prevents them from undergoing what many respected medical groups -- namely, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists -- have suggested is the safest, and sometimes a necessary, procedure.

While the Court's opinion isn't a reversal of Roe v. Wade, it clearly signals a new direction. The Supreme Court has never before restricted how an abortion can be performed. Before the Court delivered its smackdown this morning, at least half a dozen federal courts had ruled that the ban was an unconstitutional restriction on a woman's constitutional right guaranteed by the last 33 years of reproductive freedom jurisprudence.

Most horrifying of all, the opinion undoubtedly gives Congress and the states the green light to slowly erode other abortion-related rights until there is no meaningful reproductive freedom.

In my nightmare scenario, so many procedures will be eliminated and so many hoops will be propped up (e.g., age restrictions, second-trimester bans, outlawing government-funded counseling that mentions abortion, spousal consent requirements, etc.) that the anti-choice movement will have rendered Roe v. Wade worthless without even having it overturned.

Note that the majority consists of: Kennedy, Roberts, Alito, Scalia, and Thomas. It's fair to assume that before Alito or Roberts were appointed, Justice O'Connor would have joined the dissent.

As I've said before, President Bush's longest-lasting legacy will be his appointment of Justice Alito and Chief Justice Roberts, give or take the lingering effects of a war on terror.


Resources/Links:
  • Gonzales v. Planned Parenthood and Gonzales v. Carhart slip opinions
  • Federal Abortion Ban Trials
  • Joshua Holland at Alternet

Labels: abortion, Supreme Court

--Junichi

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

NOT ONE OF US?



This is a rather minor point in the larger tragedy of the the Virginia Tech shootings but Angry Asian Man raises an interesting question: if the IDed shooter, Seung-Hui Cho has actually lived in the U.S. since 1992 (meaning that he was 8 when he came to the U.S.), why is the media repeatedly referring to him as "a resident alien" and "from South Korea"? These are, of course, technically true statements but he's spent over half his life in the U.S. He's a Korean American by practically any standard I can think of.

Are folks uncomfortable with accepting that some psycho with a gun is American-bred, though not born?
--O.W.

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Monday, April 16, 2007

ARE AMERICANS GETTING DUMBER?




A new Pew Research Center report (a non-partisan group) reveals something most of us already suspected:

Americans who get their news from The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are much more likely to know about current affairs than those who watch Fox News.

The report also suggests that most Americans in 2007 know less than similarly-educated Americans in 1989 when it comes to knowledge about basic current events, despite the birth of 24-hour news channels, the Internet, and blogs. Scores of college graduates actually declined the most.

In fact, half of all Americans failed the test.

One especially depressing statistic is that only 36% of Americans today can name the President of Russia, whereas 47% were able to do so in 1989.
--Junichi

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A PERSPECTIVE ON SPEECH VERSUS CONDUCT

Labels: Ted Rall

--Junichi

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Sunday, April 15, 2007

WHEN PUPPY LOVE GOES TOO FAR


Yes, that dog is in a stroller. And yes, that dog is wearing a thong.


By way of disclaimer, let me just say that I love animals.

In theory, I believe they should be protected from torture or abuse because they have a full range of human emotions. In reality, I make an exception for those creatures that are delicious, in which case I convince myself that God has substituted out their feelings and replaced them with comatose nerve endings used to make nuggets.

Thus, I am a vegi-curious non-practicing ethical vegetarian that avoids meat by any means necessary, only making a small exception for chicken, beef, turkey, fish, duck, rabbit, ostrich, lamb, quail, pheasant, and the rodents used to make Taco Bell's delicious Crunchwrap Supremes.

But in all seriousness, I do believe that all living creatures deserve respect. I just don't think we have a duty to work towards the complete protection of every animal until after ensuring that every human being on this planet enjoys every rights guaranteed by the United Nation's Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

My mixed feelings have been especially tested with the latest ways in which pet owners are pampering their "companions." Cosmetic surgery for animals comes to mind. I also am unconvinced that neutered pets need Neuticles in order to combat their alleged depression onset by genital mutilation.

But here's where I draw the line: animal strollers.

Apparently, customized puppy strollers are all the rage. But all that rage is now inside me and I seem to have an irrational response anytime I see an animal stroller.

So let me warn you now. If I see you walking your dog in a stroller, I will say one of the following things to you:
  1. Congratulations! Your baby looks just like you! He has your eyes. And your breath.
  2. Do you also pre-chew your dog's food for him?
  3. I'm so sorry that you have no friends.
  4. Since your stroller already smells like Pomeranian feces, may I vomit inside there?
  5. Wow, that is one lazy b!tch.
  6. Excuse me, do you have a letter opener I can borrow so I can repeatedly stab my cranium until I bleed to death?

Labels: animal rights, puppy strollers

--Junichi

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Saturday, April 14, 2007

STICKS AND STONES


do you ever think about
when you outta here?

I had been meaning to work out some thoughts around Don Imus, rap slang and social responsibility but as it turns out, Bakari Kitwana pretty much nailed most of what I probably would have said anyway:
    Hip-hop slang spreads wrong word

    BY BAKARI KITWANA for Newsday

    April 13, 2007

    When Don Imus put his foot in his mouth on the air last week with a dirty
    and derogatory reference to young black women, he was articulating a message
    that had been clearly voiced by Michael Richards, Rush Limbaugh and
    countless others long before him. Ditto the white law students at the
    University of Connecticut who donned big booties and blackface this year on
    Martin Luther King Day, as well as the rash of undergraduates across the
    country, from Michigan to South Carolina, who somehow imagine that hosting
    "pimp and ho parties" is a good idea.

    That message is this: The aesthetics of hip-hop culture - from the language
    and clothing to the style and sensibility - can be absorbed into American
    popular culture like any other disposable product without any effort or
    responsibility on the part of the consumer.

    It is an idea in part ushered in by the marginal voices of black youth
    themselves, youth so eager to be visible that they gave up far too much of
    their identity in the interest of partnering with the corporate music
    industry. Together, and all the while green-lighted by the Federal
    Communications Commission, a handful of rap artists packaged and commodified
    rap music (not to be confused with hip-hop culture lived daily by countless
    youth around the globe at a local level, from graffiti and break dancing to
    deejaying, spoken word poetry and political activism.).

    Encouraged by the quick bucks, this partnership was quickly reinforced by
    additional peddlers of one-dimensional images of young black men as violent,
    and women as oversexed bitches and hos - from filmmakers and television
    producers to music video directors, comedians and beyond.

    These snake oil salesmen marvel at the gravitational pull that hip-hop
    exerts over American youth and see dollar signs. Drawing necessary
    distinctions between the various lifestyles (street culture, prison culture
    and the traditional culture of black America) that converge on the national
    stage isn't even an afterthought.

    The result is what cultural critic Greg Tate addressed in his 2005 book,
    "Everything but the Burden." That is, far too many American consumers of
    black popular culture don't take the time to decode the complexity of black
    life that produces a 50 Cent, a Jay-Z or a Russell Simmons,
    multi-millionaires all, who peddle rap music riddled with the language of
    the street.

    When I interviewed Jay-Z as I was completing my book "Why White Kids Love
    Hip-Hop: Wankstas, Wiggers, Wannabes and the New Reality of Race in
    America," he put it this way: "Hip-hop is not clothing or a place you go,
    this is people's lives, people's culture."

    But who picks up the slack when this gets lost on the consumer?

    Imus - and his defenders who claim they learned this language from hip-hop -
    are only partly correct, even as they are wholly dishonest. They would do
    themselves and the country a service by owning up to at least three facts.
    1) Imus took liberty with a culture that he didn't fully understand, and
    when he got called on it, rather than coming clean, he pointed the finger at
    hip-hop to take the weight. 2) Clearly those far more powerful than rappers
    are complicit in bringing pimp and ho talk to the American mainstream. 3) If
    indeed Imus is a hip-hop fan, innocently consuming its language and
    aesthetics, that doesn't remove him from the responsibility to understand
    hip-hop cultural and political roots in all their complexity.

    Rather than an ignorant fan chopping it up in the living room with one of
    his buddies, he's a public figure whose voice is heard by millions. His
    responsibility then is even greater.

    That is why he had to be removed from his radio and cable TV networks. Lest
    folks inside the hip-hop activist community who were calling for such be
    deemed hypocrites, let the record show that media justice advocates such as
    Davey D Cook (of the organization daveyd.com), Rosa Clementes (of R.E.A.C.H.
    Hip-Hop) and Lisa Fagers (of industryears.com) have for years been very
    loudly challenging the music industry and rappers to raise the bar.

    Hip-hop's internal criticism is something that a 2007 study by the Black
    Youth Project recently documented. In a survey of 1,600 young people it
    found that the "overwhelming majority" of young people agree that rap music
    videos contain too many references to sex, and "the majority" agree rap
    music videos portray black women and black men in bad or offensive ways.

    Maybe the flak over Don Imus' mean-spirited, sexist and racist comments can
    help to raise the volume of those voices. Our failure to hear them, like our
    failure to check Imus, can mean the difference between our ability to escape
    America's old racial politics and our historical tendency to drown in them.

    Copyright 2007 Newsday Inc.
--O.W.

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Monday, April 09, 2007

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #101


"I arrived in front of the dormitory / Yo could you tell me where is door three?"


This Week's Question:

What is the worst rhyming couplet in music history?


Labels: QOTW

--Junichi

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UNDER-EXAGGERATION MUCH?


Not Greeting Us as Liberators


It's practically a tradition for government agencies like the National Park Service to grossly underestimate the number of participants at a protest, while organizers of the demonstration over-exaggerate the size of the crowd.

But the discrepancy in numbers regarding yesterday's march in Iraq is especially ridiculous.

According to the U.S. Army, "5,000 to 7,000" people marched in Moqtada al-Sadr's anti-U.S. rally in Najaf to commemorate the fourth anniversary of the fall of Baghdad.

The AP, however, says "tens of thousands."

The BBC says "hundreds of thousands."

Obviously, I have no idea who is right.

But I know the crowd in the photo above probably couldn't fit into the Greek Theatre in L.A., which has a capacity of less than 7,000 people.

Plus, given that our military leaders estimated that our efforts in Iraq would take "four days tops," I'm going to guess that our government's math-related intelligence is a little fuzzy.


Hattip: MoJo

Labels: Iraq

--Junichi

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Friday, April 06, 2007

PROPER WAYS TO BOW IN JAPAN



My Japanese parents apparently failed to show me the different ways to express remorse or "Shazai."

Thankfully, the above video clip on how to humbly apologize has brought me up to speed.

I am so ashamed that for over three decades, I have been using the same bow for the "product recall" as I was for being "caught red handed in an orgy of evil."


Labels: Japanese television, Ninja code

--Junichi

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Thursday, April 05, 2007

TAKE FIVE


Bruce Willis is the new PC


I would like to declare that the following five things are awesome:

  1. This high-definition trailer for Live Free or Die Hard (right-click to save, or click here). Don't hate on it just because Bruce is a flaming Republican.

  2. This home video of a cappella group Naturally Seven singing "In The Air Tonight" on the Paris Metro.

  3. This article on eyetracking research that reveals where people's eyes gravitate to when looking at web pages. Check out the gender-differentiated eyetracking results below for the picture former baseball player George Brett; apparently, men look at private anatomy much more than women.



  4. This story about a woman who fell from a sixth-floor balcony and only survived because she landed on a thick heap of excrement.

  5. The P-Mate™, a new portable urinating device that allows women to urinate standing up, and this accompanying photo advertising the need for the product ...


Labels: Die Hard, Naturally Seven, P-Mate

--Junichi

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Wednesday, April 04, 2007

WHY RICHARD COHEN WILL SMASH HIS PILLOW WITH A TENNIS RACKET EVEN HARDER THIS WEEK


Bad Situation Room


Richard Cohen is one of the main leaders of the "ex-gay" movement that seeks to use therapy to "cure" people of their homosexuality.

Sure, his ineffectual quackery may be offensive and entirely antithetical to modern principles of science, medicine, psychology, and psychiatry.

But he makes great television.



As featured on CNN, Cohen's therapy includes a technique he's coined "Bioenergetics," which releases same-sex feelings through the act of banging a pillow with a 1970s tennis racket while screaming "Mom! Mom! Mom! Why! Did! You! Do! That! To Me!" like a scurrilous child blessed with a splash of Tourette's.

Cohen also utilizes "touch therapy" whereby he intimately hugs his male patients to recreate a healthy father-son bond. As you can see from the above CNN clip, the man-cuddling more closely resembles a healthy daddy-slave embrace, shortly before the leather paddle and the fist-shaped beads come out. Ahhh, if only Wolf Blitzer did more investigative journalism. (Sigh.)

A few weeks ago, The Daily Show amazingly scored an interview with Cohen. Jason Jones managed to further parody a man who is already a parody of himself.

Part 1:


Part 2:


Sadly, despite all this free publicity for his services, there's a non-silver lining in Cohen's closet cloud.

During the past week, others in the ex-gay movement have disassociated themselves with him, presumably in response to these questionable media appearances. (Cohen has even apologized for his appearance on The Daily Show.) His name or his books no longer appear anywhere on the website of the National Association for the Therapy of Homosexuals (NARTH) or Parents and Friends of Gays and Ex-Gays (PFOX). Needless to say, those breeders at NARTH and PFOX are just jealous b!tches.

Although the Ex-Gay movement is still disturbingly popular, it's kind of refreshing to see them swallow one of their own.

Labels: ex-gay movement, Richard Cohen, safe words

--Junichi

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Monday, April 02, 2007

FIRST ROVE...NOW ALANIS?

Unpeeling the layers of irony to this performance could take a lifetime.
--O.W.

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QUESTION OF THE WEEK #100


Here he comes now, wants his alimony


This Week's Question:

In 2004, after 18 years of marriage, Lawrence and Julia Roach divorced. Under the divorce decree, Roach agreed to pay Julia $1,250 per month in alimony until his ex-wife "dies or remarries."

Julia recently underwent a sex change operation, became a man, and now goes by Julio.

Lawrence argues that he shouldn't have to pay alimony to his ex-wife once she became a man. His attorney argues that, "It's illegal for a man to marry a man and it should likewise be illegal for a man to pay alimony to a man." Julio responds that the divorce decree mandates payment until death or re-marriage, neither of which has occurred.

Should Lawrence be forced to continue to pay Julio alimony?



Labels: QOTW

--Junichi

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