BITTEN BY NEW TIMES

beef? what beef?
So check this out...

Remember when I wrote a few weeks back about the consolidation in alt. weeklies now that New Times bought out Voice Media? One of the things I knew would happen is that content that appears in one publication would end up being syndicated elsewhere and little did I know how this would play out personally.

Once again, I have Byron to thank for this, since these days, he's like my #1 news source for news on me.

In early November, St. Louis' Riverfront Times (a New Times publication) ran a story on Bol, and in it, it discusses our merry little lovers' quarrel from 2004 (more epic than LOTR). So imagine my surprise that the SF Weekly, another New Times publication this week, ran a story in their weekly "Dog Bites" column about me and Bol's sordid affair that is 1) by the same writer from Riverfront Times (Ben Westhoff) and 2) basically just reprints the same relevant passages from the St. Louis story.

The main difference is that the SF Weekly mention is a lot more snarky (as befits the column) and it's clearly been reworked for Bay Area locals (the first sentence reads: "Oliver Wang is perhaps the Bay Area's most politically correct journalist, which would put him well in the running for the most politically correct journalist worldwide." I'd stop and quibble with the insinuation but hey, why bother?). Otherwise, though, it's the same content, just shipped over from St. Louis. I'm not saying this is some gross violation of journalistic ethics (see, there I go, being politically polite) but it is rather hilarious that New Times would prove my earlier point about content duplication so well (hope you got paid twice, Ben).

But hey, let's new story does have some gems in it, including this quote which I hadn't seen before from the Bolster about the Dubster: "I don't really have anything against him personally." Nor I towards Mr. B.C. Never did really (well except for the whole libelous email thing but that's so '04). It's all peace and love as far as I'm concerned. (Yes homo).

(Thanks to K.E. for the heads up)

--O.W.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #34

"There comes a time when we heed a certain call ..."

This Week's Question:

If you were a stripper, what song would you strip to?

--Junichi

PAT NORIYUKI MORITA R.I.P.

"I could kill you with these"

Pat Morita died yesterday at the age of 73. I know many Asian Americans tend to be a little ambivalent around his legacy - like many Asian American actors in Hollywood, he took on roles that weren't always, shall we say...progressive? (His first role, for example was "Oriental #2") and while millions of other Americans may love Morita for being Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid, that whole wise, old Japanese guru schtick was a little eye-rolly; think Driving Ralph Macchio or something.

That said, Morita was a breakthrough actor for his generation. While not the dashing lead actor that someone like James Shigeta was, Morita held down a plethora of supporting roles, including one of the first major Asian characters on a primetime television show as Arnold on Happy Days, a role which was, in many ways, ethnic-neutral.

Morita also appeared in many more community-oriented films than he typically gets credit for, including Farewell to Manzanar (1976), Hiroshima: Out of the Ashes (1990), and most recently, Lane Nishikawa's upcoming Only the Brave, a dramatic narrative of the 442nd. (We'll just leave The Karate Dog off the list).

--O.W.

THE LATEST INVENTIONS

Best Fisting Toy of 2005

For those not hip to the most recent tech innovations and scientific breakthroughs, Poplicks is here to sort out the latest and greatest ...

• FANTASTIC 4 ELECTRONIC "THING" HANDS - Just when you thought that lawsuits eliminated all the good toys, Toy Biz has released "The Thing" hands (pictured above). The warning on the toy says it all: "Do not strike any person, pet or inanimate object with Thing Hands as serious injury could result." Basically, these fists of steel are the uber-effective way to beat your baby brother senseless until he becomes braindead ... while imitating your favorite Fantastic Four character! Not surprisingly, these clobbering killer fists made the list of Most Dangerous Toys of 2005.

• LIQUID CONDOMS: China just started selling the first ever liquid condom-in-a-can. This antiseptic foam spray "forms a physical membrane inside the vagina, protecting it from infection, acting as a barrier to pregnancy and providing a lubricating effect." The device also claims to kill gynecological disease pathogens such as "staphylococcus aureus, Candida, coliform bacillus." Amazing! I usually have to use three different foam sprays to get rid of the staphylococcus aureus, Candida, and coliform bacillus in my hoohah!

• PEZ MP3 PLAYER - If you're cool like me and you collect Pez Dispensers, and you also enjoy music-playing gadgets, then these MP3-playing Pez dispensers are the mother of all your sheet-staining fantasies. (With thanks to Michelle T.)
  

• AIRLINE SECURITY LIE DETECTORS: The Israelis have invented the GK-1 voice analyzer, a new walk-through airport lie detector that requires passengers to answer questions about whether they are planning something illicit. Scary. If the software detects tremors in your voice as you answer, you will probably be instantly strip searched by a robot Ariel Sharon. Guess what Big Brother is getting for Christmas!
  

• GUMMY BEAR BREAST IMPLANTS - The company Silimed is making "gummy bear" breast implants that it hopes to get approved in the U.S. As if breast implants aren't hazardous enough, now you're challenged to trust a company named Silimed (pronounced: Silly-Med) that makes gummy knockers. The "gummy bear" nickname originates from the gummy-like consistency of the gel inside the implant, as well as how fun it is to chew off an implant's head and stick it onto the body of a different colored implant.
  

• POOH ON TOAST! Finally, if you are sick of the incessant Virgin Mary images on your bread, you can switch it up with an image of Winnie the Pooh or Tigger imprinted on your toast. He may not be a holy impression of the sacred virgin mother of Jesus, but Pooh is mighty fun to smear with butter before eating!

--Junichi

THE NEW WHITEFACE

I don't even remember where I found this but I meant to post it earlier. There's a whole long history of whitening creams marketed in Asian countries but this has to be one of the most astounding ads I've seen yet.

--O.W.

THE NEW WHITE FLIGHT? REALLY?

the asian grade wreckers are coming!
Considering that two different friends sent me this same article yesterday, I figure it must be news-worthy. The Wall St. Journal is reporting on a new kind of "white flight" from public high schools in the Silicon Valley suburb of Cupertino. Cupertino's burgeoning Asian American student population is nothing new - I've known about it, anecdotally, for years but it sounds like, in the last 10 years, the ratio has rocketed to the point where now, white students (or better said, their parents) are pulling out of Cupertino's public schools and attending private schools and moving out of the district entirely. A few notable pull quotes:
CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING...

• "Whites aren't quitting the schools because the schools are failing academically. Quite the contrary: Many white parents say they're leaving because the schools are too academically driven and too narrowly invested in subjects such as math and science at the expense of liberal arts and extracurriculars like sports and other personal interests. The two schools, put another way that parents rarely articulate so bluntly, are too Asian."
  
  
• "At Cupertino's top schools, administrators, parents and students say white students end up in the stereotyped role often applied to other minority groups: the underachievers."
  
  
• "To many of Cupertino's Asians, some of the assumptions made by white parents -- that Asians are excessively competitive and single-minded -- play into stereotypes. Top schools in nearby, whiter Palo Alto, which also have very high test scores, also feature heavy course loads, long hours of homework and overly stressed students. But whites don't seem to be avoiding those institutions, or making the same negative generalizations, Asian families note, suggesting that it's not academic competition that makes white parents uncomfortable but academic competition with Asian-Americans."
  
  
• "Some of Cupertino's Asian residents say they don't blame white families for leaving. After all, many of the town's Asians are fretting about the same issues. While acknowledging that the term Asian embraces a wide diversity of countries, cultures and languages, they say there's some truth to the criticisms levied against new immigrant parents, particularly those from countries such as China and India, who often put a lot of academic pressure on their children."

Some thoughts: First of all, I think it's interesting how some of this tension is being cast as nativist vs. immigrant (including within the Asian American community). Looks like immigrant scapegoating is popular in any community, even intra-ethnic ones.

In any case, I was talking about this article with my friend Hua Hsu who grew up in Cupertino and attended Lynbrook; he pointed out that this article relies most only anecdote but very little on hard data, let alone a real demographic/statistical analysis. It's not like the WSJ needed to publish the article as if it appeared in a sociology journal instead but you clearly get the idea that the writer is trying very hard to paint a racial divide hear yet her "evidence" doesn't necessarily support such a claim.

For example, Hua points out that demographically speaking, in order to really prove that there's substantial white flight happening within the school district, you'd have to be adjust for changes in the number of white children in Cupertino to begin with. In other words, if, for example, there's been a large influx of Asian families into the city (which there sounds like there has been), but the white population has stayed stable and has aged past the point where there are high school aged children still left, then you would see a drop in white enrollment and rise in Asian enrollment and there's no actual "flight" going on.

So I took a look at what data is easily available and what it suggests is that, yes, there's a significant decrease in the white population of Cupertino between 1990 and 2000 - about 24% in terms of the per capita white population and 18% in the raw, numerical decrease. That cannot be due to death alone so presumably, of the 4,500 whites who left the city, you'd figure most did it in a moving van and not a hearse. However, that information alone isn't necessarily suggestive of a wide-scale example of racially motivated white flight. For example, it could be there was a substantial number of white families who no longer had children of school age and given rising property values in Cupertino, decided to cash out and move some place less expensive.

On the flipside, you could also theorize that the increasing rate of Asians living in the city was a disincentive for new white families to move into town. That's something the data isn't going to show.

The simple point is this: lesson one in economic or sociological analysis: just because a correlation exists doesn't mean a causality does. (This is something the Freakanomics authors stress over and over). In other words, just because sets of data seem to be related (i.e. increasing Asian enrollment, decreasing white) doesn't mean they actually are.

I'll say this much though: S and I had thought about moving to Cupertino because 1) S works in Cupertino and therefore, her commute would improve considerably, 2) the reputation of the schools (yeah, we have that Asian mentality too) and 3) there's a Mandarin immersion program there that'd we'd love to enroll E into.

However, I too was concerned about the skewed demographics of the school district. I grew up in a city where the Asian student population was at least 30% and now, I hear it's grown to 45-50%...so I can relate to what's happening in Cupertino. And honestly, I like the idea of E going to school in a diverse environment, one that isn't dominated by any one ethnic group, white, Asian or otherwise. To me, the choice between a predominant Asian school and predominantly white school (or commonly found, split Asian/white schools) are all equally discomforting, though for different reasons (Mandarin immersion school excepted).

--O.W.

X MARKS THE DICK (AND OTHER RANDOM RAVES)

Circle does not get the square

Yesterday, when CNN broadcast Dick Cheney's speech live, a large black "X" repeatedly flashed over the Vice President's decrepit and diabolic face. I didn't actually notice this since I normally see a big flashing X over the face of all members of the Bush adminstration. Technical glitch or not, CNN gets a random rave from me. (Credit: N. Karlsgodt)

Here's other stuff on the Internets that I'd like to praise like I should:

• George W. Bush speechwriter: You can now remix Dubya audio clips to create your own Bush speech. For example: "We are a slaveholding society and I will now attack the innocent (applause)." Sadly, the fake quotes aren't much different than the real quotes.

• Translate British to American!: With the aid of this website, you can finally understand what your English co-worker Figgy Puddington means when he says, "Take your grotty bell end and shove it in a jacket potato - bob's your uncle!"

• The Phat Phree: The Onion has competition! Check out Rob Sanford's "Your Mother, Blow Me Vie for Jr Class VP" (by the way, Rob Sanford is the nom de plume for one of Poplicks' bureau chiefs.)

• Website of Niki Cruise: This Tom Cruise fansite was created by Niki Yan (who changed her name to Niki Cruise), the author of My Love for You, Tom Cruise -- A Desparate Chinese Girl's Confession. Self-described as "Tom Cruise’s favorite Chinese girl ever!", Niki apparently got to meet Cruise. This is frightening since her website includes statements like "if things don’t work out with Katie, I would be here to clean up your mess. If I don’t get to marry you this life, I will make sure I marry you next life (when we both become cats of course)." She also states that she is the perfect Mrs. Cruise because she is "pathetic" and she buys her "China girl underwears in K-mart." Regardless of whether this is serious or not, it's awesome. You can even call her.
  

• The Onion: Check out "First Report On Long-Term Effects Of Breakdancing Released". Here's an excerpt:
  

More than two decades after the breakdancing craze peaked, the first data on its long-term health effects was published Tuesday in the Strong Island Journal Of Medicine. "We've found permanent shoulder pop, elbow lock, and spin-neck in '80s-era breakdancers," said Dr. Young MD, the report's author. "For years, many subjects had thrown their hands in the air without exercising the proper care."

Brilliant.

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #33

Timeout, young lady! I told you not to look like the drummer from Hanson!

This Week's Question:

Fed up with her high school daughter's grades and poor behavior in school, an angry mother recently forced her daughter to stand on the corner of a busy Oklahoma City intersection holding a large sign that read:

"I DON'T DO MY HOMEWORK AND I ACT UP IN SCHOOL, SO MY PARENTS ARE PREPARING ME FOR MY FUTURE. WILL WORK FOR FOOD."

Since then, the mother has seen marked improvement in her daughter's behavior. Was this a good idea?

--Junichi

PLAY TIME IS OVER

Juvenile: Reality Check (2006)

--O.W.

AOL LAUNCHES GROWING PAINS ON DEMAND

You've Got Thicke!

For over 10 years and running, I ain't had a single reason to become an AOL member.

Until now.

AOL will be launching a free new broadband network for members -- "In2TV" -- that will be offering exclusive video-on-demand of numerous "classic" television shows like Growing Pains, the sitcom that launched the careers of Kirk Cameron and Tracey Gold and extinguished child-star Leonardo DiCaprio's path toward stardom.

How will you find it? Perhaps, AOL Keyword: Boner

(I challenge anyone else to use the soon-to-be-popular catchphrase "AOL Keyword: Boner" in a similarly decent and appropriate manner.)

With iTunes offering episode downloads of Lost and Desperate Housewives and other sites streaming high-quality broadband videos, the future of television has undoubtedly arrived.

So I ask you all to help speed up the decapitation of the Nielsen families (do these people actually exist?) and their monopoly on American television programming so I can continue to watch brilliant shows like Arrested Development and Andy Richter Controls The Universe in the comfort of my own office where I should be doing some work right now.

--Junichi

ASIAN MODEL VALUES FOR DUMMIES

Apparently, Asian children lack socks and buy their jeans too short.

The racial 'divide & conquer' strategy in education is starting to rear its ugly head. But don't call it a comeback (it's been here for years).

First, the GOP is addressing the so-called racial gap in education by making it even wider. Securing Dubya's legacy as the president who really doesn't care about black (and all other) people, the Bush Adminstration quietly started bombing scholarships that help women and people of color.

The Justice Department told Southern Illinois in a letter that the school was "engaged in a pattern or practice of intentional discrimination against whites, non-preferred minorities and males" because of its scholarship programs. If Bush presses this issue and gets Scalito onto the Supreme Court, we will soon see the United Negro College Fund forced to become the United Negro (And Non-Negro) College Fund. (Apparently, The Onion wasn't that far off when it suggested that civil rights died along with Rosa Parks.)

On the flip side, there seems to be a new wave of Asian American-praising, model minority propaganda. One book getting unusually high attention is this book -- Top of the Class : How Asian Parents Raise High Achievers--and How You Can Too -- which makes me reconsider my stance against book-burning. (Credit: Angry Asian Man)

The book's jacket says: "Asians and Asian-Americans make up 4% of the U.S. population...and 20% of the Ivy League. Now find out how they do it. ... What are Asian parents doing to start their kids on the road to academic excellence at an early age?" Gag! What the hell are the chapter titles -- "Feed Your Kids More Rice"?

Jumping on the 'Asians Are Better' rickshaw bandwagon, the Tribune also published an article entitled "Asians Thank Parents for Top Grades."

The reporter quotes one high school student as saying that by getting good grades, "[y]ou bring honor to your whole race." I agree with this statement if 'you bring honor to your whole race' is synonymous with 'you get candy' or 'you don't get your ass whooped by your black-belt father who uses judo as an offensive martial art.' Double gag.

But nobody is doing more to divide and conquer than Abigail Thernstrom, Vice Chairman of the U.S. Civil Rights Commission, and her husband, Stephan Thernstrom, a professor of history at Harvard University. They just published "No Excuses: Closing the Racial Gap in Learning" and are currently on a college campus speaking tour discussing "segregation" (it's not clear they're against it) and spreading the message that "Asian" values are superior and African American and Latino students "have a set of skills to learn that are not only academic but are behavioral." Triple gag!

Needless to say, Asian Americans are being used again. Furthermore, these articles constantly lump all Asians into one homogenous group without taking into account the numerous ethnicities and other subgroups that remain impoverished, underrepresented, and undereducated.

If you're an ethnic studies major, you've already heard this a thousand times. But for everyone else, remember: just because O-Dub is a model minority does not mean that all Asian Americans are.

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #32

Why Ye Wants A Prenup

This Week's Question:

Would you marry your lover if he or she insisted that you sign a prenuptial agreement?

--Junichi

POPPIN' FRESH TURNS 40

Step back you're giggling kind of close; I feel a little poke coming through.

Poppin' Fresh -- the official name of the Pillsbury Doughboy -- is now 40 years old. He first rolled with Pillsbury in a crescent roll commercial back in the autumn of 1965.

Poppin' Fresh has a special place in my stomach because he helped me to realize that all people can be divided into two camps: (1) those who smile when they see him ... and (2) those who want him to die of a yeast infection.

Regardless of what camp you fall in, check out this video, which should please both camps. I'm all about the unity.

http://poplicks.com/movies/Doughboy-gets-too-happy.wmv

By the way, I think we can safely trace all hip hop culture back to the Pillsbury Doughboy given that (a) his name is Poppin' Fresh, (b) he once had a wife named Poppie (Ay, Poppie!), (c) he has an uncle named Rollie of Fresh, (d) he inspired the bay area rapper Poppin' Fresh, and (e) he looks a lot like Young Jeezy's Snowman.

Happy Birthday, Poppin. You may be over the hill, but you're still getting baked. And that's gangsta.

(Credit for the video: Karl and H-Money 357)

--Junichi

THERE IS NO GOD

Axed

Fox just cancelled Arrested Development, the greatest show in the history of television.


(Hank pointed out that there will soon be no Gob, as well.)

--Junichi

BLAME CANADA HIP-HOP

hip-hop killed them too
So...in 2005 thus far, we've seen hip-hop made the scapegoat for everything from:

Katrina looters

Declining NBA attendance

French rioting

...at the very least. It's remarkable to what degree people will go to insinuate that hip-hop is the root behind any of society's ills. Therefore, why don't we just do the t.v. pundits and op-ed columnists a favor and just write their own headlines for them. Expect to see any of these show up in the next year or so...

• SCIENTIFIC AMERICA - IT'S GETTING HOT IN HURR: SCIENTISTS PINPOINT "BLAZING" HIP-HOP AS LEADING CONTRIBUTOR TO GLOBAL WARMING...
  
  
• THE NEW YORK TIMES - THE NEW COLD WAR: U.N. FORGOES MULTI-LATERAL NUCLEAR DISARMAMENT TALKS TO MEDIATE JAY-Z/50 CENT NEGOTIATIONS...
  
  
• US WEEKLY - WAS IT THE CRUNK?: LIL' JON REVEALED AS SECRET REASON BEHIND NICK AND JESSICA'S SPLIT...
  
  
• VARIETY - TONY YAYO'S THOUGHTS OF A PREDICATE FELON MOVIE OVERTAKES TITANIC AS ALL-TIME BOX OFFICE CHAMP; JAMES CAMERON MULLS SANTANA'S TOWN BIO-PIC IN RESPONSE...
  
  
• CHRONICLE OF HIGHER EDUCATION - IVY LEAGUE ENROLLMENT AT ALL-TIME LOW FOLLOWING KANYE'S "YALE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE" PRONOUNCEMENT...
  
  
• MARTHA STEWART LIVING - TURN TATTERED CURTAINS INTO FASHIONABLE DOO-RAGS, IT'S A G-THING...
  
  
• BARK - HOOD-RAISED PITBULLS HUNT BICHON FRISE POPULATION TO EXTINCTION...
  

---

In wholly other news...

1) I don't think Milton wrote about it, but is there some concentric circle of hell being saved just for Pat Robertson?

2) Sacramento clowns Detroit. I never liked the Kings much; now I have even more reasons not to.

3) Uh, yeah: "Television awash in sex, study says."

4) Ahnauld gets punk'd.

5) "The Roots' next album will likely receive more attention than anything the group's done, simply because it's now linked with Jay-Z and Def Jam." Uh... (via spinemagazine.com)

6) Now you can own a "Charlie Brown Pathetic Tree". (via boingboing.net)

--O.W.

THE RAP ON FRENCH RIOTS

must be 50's fault
Throughout coverage of the French rioting, I've noted that reporters and commentators alike have frequently made mention of how these mostly youth of color outside Paris are cloaked (literally and figuratively) in signifiers that we've come to associate with young, urban anger. Columnist David Brooks at the NY Times finally just comes out and says it: they're copping gangsta rap styles and poses.

I always find it interesting when commentators who don't otherwise drop hip-hop metaphors or allusions in their writing suddenly try to slip on some shell-toes and pose as b-boy intellectuals. Brooks is little different - in this op-ed piece that ran in today's Times, he tries suggest that riotous youth in France have learned their gestures and 'tudes from the global hegemony of American gangsta rap. Here's what he has to say:

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING...

(with gratitude to the blog, Unpublished Digest)

Gangsta, in French
November 10, 2005
Op-Ed Columnist
By DAVID BROOKS

After 9/11, everyone knew there was going to be a debate about the future of Islam. We just didn't know the debate would be between Osama bin Laden and Tupac Shakur.
Yet those seem to be the lifestyle alternatives that are really on offer for poor young Muslim men in places like France, Britain and maybe even the world beyond. A few highly alienated and fanatical young men commit themselves to the radical Islam of bin Laden. But most find their self-respect by embracing the poses and worldview of American hip-hop and gangsta rap.

One of the striking things about the scenes from France is how thoroughly the rioters have assimilated hip-hop and rap culture. It's not only that they use the same hand gestures as American rappers, wear the same clothes and necklaces, play the same video games, and sit with the same sorts of car stereos at full blast. It's that they seem to have adopted the same poses of exaggerated manhood, the same attitudes about women, money and the police. They seem to have replicated the same sort of gang culture, the same romantic visions of gunslinging drug dealers.

In a globalized age it's perhaps inevitable that the culture of resistance gets globalized, too. What we are seeing is what Mark Lilla of the University of Chicago calls a universal culture of the wretched of the earth. The images, modes and attitudes of hip-hop and gangsta rap are so powerful they are having a hegemonic effect across the globe.
American ghetto life, at least as portrayed in rap videos, now defines for the young, poor and disaffected what it means to be oppressed. Gangsta resistance is the most compelling model for how to rebel against that oppression. If you want to stand up and fight The Man, the Notorious B.I.G. shows the way.

This is a reminder that for all the talk about American cultural hegemony, American countercultural hegemony has always been more powerful. America's rebellious countercultural heroes exert more influence around the world than the clean establishment images from Disney and McDonald's. This is our final insult to the anti-Americans; we define how to be anti-American, and the foreigners who attack us are reduced to borrowing our own clichés.

When rap first came to France, American rappers dominated the scene, but now the suburban immigrant neighborhoods have produced their own stars in their own language. French rap lyrics today are like the American gangsta lyrics of about five or 10 years ago, when it was more common to fantasize about cop killings and gang rape.

Most of the lyrics can't be reprinted in this newspaper, but you can get a sense of them from, say, a snippet from a song from Bitter Ministry: "Another woman takes her beating./This time she's called Brigitte./She's the wife of a cop. " Or this from Mr. R's celebrated album "PolitiKment IncorreKt": "France is a bitch. ... Don't forget to [deleted] her to exhaustion. You have to treat her like a whore, man! ... My niggers and my Arabs, our playground is the street with the most guns!"

The French gangsta pose is familiar. It is built around the image of the strong, violent hypermacho male, who loudly asserts his dominance and demands respect. The gangsta is a brave, countercultural criminal. He has nothing but rage for the institutions of society: the state and the schools. He shows his own cruel strength by dominating women. It is perhaps no accident that until the riots, the biggest story coming out of these neighborhoods was the rise of astonishing and horrific gang rapes.

In other words, what we are seeing in France will be familiar to anyone who watched gangsta culture rise in this country. You take a population of young men who are oppressed by racism and who face limited opportunities, and you present them with a culture that encourages them to become exactly the sort of people the bigots think they are - and you call this proud self-assertion and empowerment. You take men who are already suspected by the police because of their color, and you romanticize and encourage criminality so they will be really despised and mistreated. You tell them to defy oppression by embracing self-destruction.

In America, at least, gangsta rap is sort of a game. The gangsta fan ends up in college or law school. But in France, the barriers to ascent are higher. The prejudice is more impermeable, and the labor markets are more rigid. There really is no escape.

Brooks' op-ed piece is rife with so many ignorant and wholly stereotypical (read: racist) impressions of gangsta rap - and really, the state of urban Black America today - that if you close your eyes, you can hear the same tired arguments that C. Dolores Tucker raised ten years ago or Tipper Gore 15 years back. In other words, Brooks is just the latest of any number of hand-wringing pundits who can't distinguish between style and lifestyle and more dangerously, pathologize disaffected youth as ready-made robots for mob mentalities.

I could waste my morning rebutting practically every single argument Brooks puts forth here, but there are just a few that need to be said.

First and foremost, Brooks possesses a profoundly distorted view of what gangsta rap is about these days, choosing to focus on a very limited set of recycled stereotypes (note to Brooks: rhyming about cop killings and gang rapes was never "common" in gangsta rap, not even during NWA's heyday.) His choice to highlight a few verses from different French rap groups is particularly disingenuous. Cultural forms have such a diverse range of expressions that there's no way you can reduce a community of voices into a single line or two. As a political pundit, you'd think Brooks would know better - he'd never argue that the views of the late Strom Thurmond could be said to represent the entire American political establishment.

Plus, never mind that the age of the gangsta as urban rebel was 15 years ago. It's one thing to espouse attitudes that go against social convention and civility; it's something else entirely to advocate for insurrection. Hell, half these rappers probably think a Moltov Cocktail is something you make with Grey Goose.

Whatever is happening in France is not about youth of color trying to live out gangsta fantasies. It's is about anger, frustration, a sense of "we don't give a fuck" misanthropy fueled by social conditions. Brooks even acknowledges this in his column so it's quite confusing why he's even basing an argument that gangsta rap is some how framing the expressions of this rage (and he flirts dangerously close to suggesting that gangsta rap is actually fueling the situation, which is as ludicrous as claiming that soccer is at the root of European football riots.

Gangsta rap here is another red herring. Neither "Islamic fundamentalism" nor imported gangsterism is remotely adequate to address why the suburbs outside of Paris are burning. All Brooks succeeds in doing is to whip the flames of hysteria around the specter of Black masculinity - truly, that fear and paranoia is what America exports as successfully as any cultural product. Let's just put it this way: if French youth had never gotten a taste for hip-hop and instead were bumping Edith Piaf tapes, would the riots still be in full-swing? Oui, of course they would.

--O.W.

THE FIRES THIS TIME

the hate that la haine made
I've been following the Paris riots in the news for close to two weeks now and am frankly, incredulous. Not around the the roots of the rioting (angry youth of color? You don't say) or the contradictions of its costs (local communities suffer the most since rampant arson, by nature, tends to be rather indiscriminate). What I'm amazed at is the fact that they've gone on now for almost two weeks. From an American p.o.v., you'd think the French government would have rounded up their equivalent of the National Guard (if there is a French equivalent) and had folks out there gassing and shooting folks within the first three days (or as one of my friends put it, "the first three hours"). It says a lot about how pummeled into submission Americans are when any riot lasting longer than a day makes it sound like a country is on the verge of collapse.

Maybe American youth just need to watch The Battle of Algiers more. Anyways...

The blog Black Looks has been running excellent analysis on the roots and evolution of the rioting (thanks to hiphopmusic for the recommendation). One thing that cannot be stressed enough though is that one has to be very wary of any news report trying to explain the riots as a result of religious beliefs - that's a red herring so big you could feed a small city with it. The issue here isn't over religious fundamentalism any more than the Civil Rights Movement was lead by "Baptist extremists."

As with Katrina and a host of other unfortunate examples 2005 has offered up, this seems to be about race, class, and second-class citizenship. After all, when you have a population of youth facing years of entrenched racism, then add chronic unemployment, the volatility practically ignites itself (of course, the belief that two youth died while running from the police doesn't hurt either).

--O.W.

COMING TO A TAILGATE PARTY NEAR YOU: SNOOP DOGGS

mmmm...beefy
Snoop Dogg is supposedly rolling out a line of hot dogs called "Snoop Doggs." Seriously. This is real.

According to Snoop's brother and business manager:

"There aren’t any celebrity hot dogs out there. Who’s the competition? Ball Park? ... Imagine a long, skinny hot dog just like Snoop."

They might want to rethink that marketing slogan. I mean, we like subtle homoeroticism as much as the next guys, but c'mon.

In any case, the foot-long hot dogs should appear in January and they're part of a larger diversification of Snoop's revenue-generating activities. Says brother Bing Worthington,

"Snoop takes advantage of everything. This rap money isn’t long. Just ask MC Hammer."

Ok, we can't really argue with that.

--O.W.

VOTE

Raw Deal: Props 73 thru 78 deserve no props

I have been so busy that I completely failed to do a post on the California statewide initiatives. There's only a few hours left, but I hope you'll go out and vote ... unless you're a Schwarzenegger-supporter, in which case you should vote on Wednesday, when your vote will count twice as much.

Here is how I'm planning to vote:

Prop 73 (makes kids go to back alleys for abortions): Hell No
Prop 74 (makes public school teaching even more unattractive): No
Prop 75 (take away union's political speech): No
Prop 76 (governor gets one step closer to God-like powers): No
Prop 77 (pro-Republican redistricting): No
Prop 78 (prescription drug law written by pharmaceutical companies): No
Prop 79 (drug discounts - serves more people than 78): Yes
Prop 80 (re-regulates electricity under California Public Utilities Commission): Yes

These endorsements line up perfectly with the SFBG, which does a good job breaking down the legalese.

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #31

Why men overwhelmingly prefer the stalls over urinals.

This Week's Question:

Why haven't we eliminated gender-segregation in public restrooms? What's wrong with making all bathrooms unisex?



(Credit for photo: Mishaela)

--Junichi

BLOWIN' UP THE BLOGOSPHERE

ice grill

Byron Crawford, often mistaken for my nemesis (we're really "special" friends), gets a big write up in the River Front Times. Now that he's been certified by the print world he so often caps on, will Bol jump the shark? Then again, considering the kind of comments he inspires...is the book deal too far behind?

--O.W.

50 CENT = BUSH APOLOGIST

"50 Cent Slams Kanye"

Rapper 50 CENT has lashed out at fellow hip-hop star KANYE WEST for accusing US President GEORGE W BUSH of racism in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

The IN DA CLUB star believes human intervention could not have prevented the effects of the hurricane, which killed over a thousand people in the US gulf states in August (05), and sees no point in reprimanding the President for something which was beyond his control.

He says, "The New Orleans disaster was meant to happen. It was an act of God.

"I think people responded to it the best way they can.

"What KANYE WEST was saying, I don't know where that came from."

--O.W.