WHAT DOES A LOOTER LOOK LIKE?

I've had two separate readers write in about this and frankly, given that BoingBoing, Wonkette and a whole lotta other sites have already been running info on this, I assume many of you are already familiar.

However, if not, here's what this is all about:




Note: Derek points us to another example.

Discuss.

--O.W.

LYRICAL ANALYSIS

I'm happy to present a new Poplicks feature -- LYRICAL ANALYSIS -- in which I will use my formal training in literary criticism to dissect the sophisticated and labyrinthine messages embedded in today's popular music for the benefit of the layman.

The lyrical passages I've chosen below are from current Top 40 hits that an untrained listener cannot fully comprehend without my help.


KELLY CLARKSON - "BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES"

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

In this confessional chorus, Ms. Clarkson is subtly revealing her struggle with Diabetic Retinopathy, which is an eye condition that results in the deeper portions of her cornea being "torn into pieces" and "broken up," thereby causing her to cry tears that flow behind her eyes, unlike most of us who cry tears in front of our eyes. Perhaps now you can appreciate that Ms. Clarkson is not only an American idol, but a brave disabled American hero.


MIKE JONES - "STILL TIPPIN'"

Four fours I'm tippin'
Wood grain I'm gripping
Catch me lane switching with the paint dripping
Turn your neck and your dame missing

In this song, Mr. Jones is explaining proper etiquette to any listeners who visit his hometown of Houston, Texas. In the first line, Mr. Jones informs the listener that it is customary dining etiquette to generously tip one's waiter in Houston as if he or she were in Great Britain. "Tipping a four four" is thus a reference to 44, the international direct dial code for the UK. Similarly, when Mr. Jones is gripping the "wood grain," he is referring to the carved driftwood forks he squeezes to convey to a Texan diner's waitstaff that he is satisfied with his meal.

In the third line, Mr. Jones addresses driving etiquette. He informs us that while switching lanes in Houston, one is expected to "drip paint," which refers to the antediluvian practice of sprinkling tempera paint on to the road in order to signal a lane change. A failure to do this might result in your "dame," her highness, being ejected from your car.

In the remainder of the song, Mr. Jones reminds visitors that it is considered polite to repeatedly remind people of one's name and one's phone number, which in Mr. Jones' case is (281) 330-8004. Indeed, armed with good etiquette, Mr. Jones is still tipping and constantly paying it forward.


HOT HOT HEAT - "MIDDLE OF NOWHERE"

But you're waiting at the door where everybody's hanging out
just like they hung out before.
You didn't have to do it but you did it to say
that you didn't have to do it but you would anyway.
To give you something to go on when I go off back to the Middle of Nowhere.
To give you something to go on when I go off back to the Middle of Nowhere.

In this song, the speaker is telling his lover that he will soon be leaving her so that he can return to listening to Hanson's classic debut album, "Middle of Nowhere." Indeed, he will be leaving her in a MMMBop.


BLACK EYED PEAS - "MY HUMPS"

What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely little lumps!

In this complicated musical dissertation, the Black Eyed Peas present a ratiocinative thesis on the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. BEP challenges the notion that the United States honored its agreement after it acquired Mexico's "humps" and "lumps" of land, now part of the southwest portion of the US, in light of credible evidence that the $15 million promised inside the treasure "trunk" was merely "junk" that ... oh, never mind, you wouldn't understand.

* * *

If you have any song requests for future lyrical analysis, please email your suggestions here.

--Junichi

MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS WRAPUP

Fat Joe can't lean back because of testicular swelling

Last night's MTV Video Music Awards, once the model for entertaining and innovative awards shows, had the "edge" and "hip factor" of the 2005 Teen Choice Awards.

(I'm not necessarily admitting that I watched the Teen Choice Awards, although I'm still shocked that Chad Michael Murray beat Jesse McCartney for "Choice Male Hottie.")

This year's VMAs were hosted by Diddy, who recently dropped the P from 'P. Diddy,' because, as he told Katie Couric on the Today Show, "I felt like the 'P' was getting between me and my fans and now we're closer."

The P was getting between him and his fans? I thought that was R. Kelly's problem.

Nothing, however, was getting between Diddy and his status as the worst choice to host a show. Pat Sajak and Ted Koppel's love child would've had more charm.

Of course, one benefit of Diddy hosting was that Notorious B.I.G. could return from the dead and perform on stage, virtually speaking. With the precision of Fantasia's Mickey Mouse on methamphetamines, Diddy "conducted" an orchestra that provided new musical backing to acapella tracks of Biggie's "Juicy" and "Warning." Fresh. MTV gets the gas face, however, for editing out the line about blowing up like the World Trade.

Here are other highlights and lowlights:

• Ludacris performed "Pimpin All Over The World" with a bevy of international dancers that perfectly captured the sentiment of "It's A Small World" relocated at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch.



• Accused child pornographer R. Kelly lip synched his latest chapter of "Trapped in the Closet," which was one of the most surreal performances ever televised. I have to give the man props, however, for role-playing a gay man's torn loyalties between his wife and his male lover. He would be great on Passions.



• Before introducing R. Kelly, Eric Roberts (how did this tool get to be in so many videos?) plugged his son's band. Painful. By now, his son probably has had the stool beat out of him a hundred times over.



• Audience members tapped their tambourines along with 50 Cent's performance to create that authentic hippie "I'd like to teach the world to sing" gangsta vibe. Any positivity, however, was nullified when 50 started made threats against Fat Joe. (These days, I feel like an incompetent inventory worker at a Kobe meat factory: I can't keep track of all the beef.)



• Speaking of beef, the big story of the night took place hours before the VMAs. Death Row's 'Suge' Knight attended a Kanye West-hosted party, in part, to make peace with the hip hop community. Amazing. But then, Suge was shot in the leg and required hospitalization. So much for a truce. Somebody gonna die now!



• I'm happy to admit that I appreciate Coldplay and I think X&Y is a consistently enjoyable album. But their live TV performances cure insomnia and inspire visions of the scene in Seven with Gwyneth's head in a box. Coldplay: needs to be banned from live TV.



• I think it was too early for the "surprise" VMA performance by MC Hammer. I still have a sour taste in my mouth from when Hammer and his bankruptcy-inducing posse went on stage at the VMAs and drank Diet Pepsis in unison. But I'll admit that 14 years later, the man can still do a wicked typewriter.


He had to pray just to make it to the VMAs.



• Kelly Clarkson. Cute. Charming. A little pitchy.



• The best performance of the night belonged to the ubiquitous Kanye West and Jamie Foxx. Among other things, their duet was historic since, according to my research, Mr. Foxx is now the first Academy Award winner for Best Actor to ever sing about a "bee-yitch" and a "gold digger" at an awards show.



• Correction: Oscar winner Ben Kingsley actually did a scat about a "bee-yitch" and a "gold digger" at the 4th Annual Blockbuster Entertainment Awards. I apologize for the error.

--Junichi

JAPANESE PEOPLE ARE WACKY & CRRRAZZZY!

Latest Non-Existent Japanese Fashion Trend

Apparently, most Americans will believe anything written about Japan, which has undoubtedly been crowned the land of the weird wacky kinky freaky fetish people.

Recently, I received an email titled: "Think you have seen it all?", which claims that the current fashion rage in Japan is the above faux "see-thru skirts" that contain a print on the back designed to make it appear as if the wearer's underwear is visible. (As this site points out, this is a hoax.) C'mon, gullible people! Japanese women don't wear skirts!

This isn't anything new; urban legends about Japan go way back. You can imagine the political climate that bred the oft-repeated urban legend that a Japanese town named itself 'USA' in order for companies located there to legitimately stamp their exports 'Made in USA.'

So remember kids: just because my mother, whom I love, went shopping with my little brother and bought him breast scarves and a "12-Play-12-Pack" of lifesize R. Kelly dolls for his birthday yesterday -- as most Japanese mothers do -- doesn't mean that every freakish thing written about the Japanese is true.

Happy Birthday, Oshiri!

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #21

The Poster Child of Term Limits?

This Week's Question:

If George W. Bush could run for re-election in 2008, would he win?

--Junichi

IRONIC WHITENESS - SO WACKY

reach out and smack somebody
In about a day or two, expect the blogosphere to be buzzing about this article that came out in today's Washington Post about a club night in Williamsburg, Brooklyn where the theme is "Kill Whitey!" To break it down simply, what the article details is an evening where white, 20-something hipsters gather around, play Miami booty bass music, yell "Kill Whitey!" and ape dance moves they've probably seen on BET. Fliers for the night have included offers for free admission for those bringing a bucket of chicken. We're not certain about this, but we wonder if burnt cork is optional. Moving on:

Author Michelle Garcia interviews the night's DJ, Jeremy Parker, aka ... "Tha Pumpsta." (Yes, you read that right. Tha Pumpsta). Here's what he has to say about the evening:

"I'm throwing this party, and it's obvious that I'm white and I'm kind of appropriating this culture but in an ironic way. Kinda poking fun at myself and my origins and white people in general. I'm trying to kill the whiteness inside."

Putting aside the fact that his statement makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, all we can say is that Parker should anticipate a flood of curious and/or outraged Black people to descend on the next Kill Whitey night and we'll have to see how "ironic" it all seems to be minstreling it up in the presence of actual Blackness and not just the perverse performance of it.

I posted this story to Soulstrut.com and there's been some notable comments made in reply:

• "Black people couldn't throw a "Kill Whitie" party and have people think it's cute, even if it's in jest. First of all that shit wouldn't be a sidebar human interest story (look how crazy these young white kids are!) it wold be full scale news complete with lots of smart ass people using that stupid fucking made up word "reverse racism". Second, the cops, either on their own or by upper eschalon orders, would clamp down on that party so hard, only nuns and librarians could get in. Third, it would only add fuel to a media fire that's dead bent on making the black community look like folls, criminals, and uneducated.
  
  The whole concept and title is in itself an exercise of white privilage.
  
  When black people get together and talk about killing whitey the CIA fucks 'em up, when white people do it it's cute."
  

  
  

• "You can witness white people listening to the same music, dressing the same styles, and acting the same way as this party in clubs in just about any city in America. I guess the main difference is that outside of Wmburg, they don't call it "Kill Whitey."
  
  You can chalk that up to the rest of the country either having decency and common sense, or lacking arrogance and for lack of a better word, imagination."

--O.W.

QUESTIONABLE MARKETING

Chuck E. Cheese's marketing plan reaches new highs

Here's a roundup of the latest marketing news:

• EchoStar is giving free satellite cable to everyone in the first town that permanently changes its name to Dish. Perhaps now would be a good time for Toad Suck, Arkansas or Study Butte, Texas to change their names. On second thought, we should probably consult the residents of Half.com, Oregon to see how often they are ridiculed.

• Speaking of Study Butte ... while you know that Target converted a song about big butts into an ass-less jingle for backpacks, the latest Madison Avenue trend is apparently to go the other way: flaunt the big butt. Perhaps you've seen that Nike ad where a white woman jokes that her plentiful backside gets fan mail. (Hey Funyuns, if you're looking for the perfect plus-size ass model, call me.)
  

• Diet Dr. Pepper needs to advertise that its product can help prevent carjacking!

• Speaking of soda marketing, what the hell is Coke Zero? I read this article about how Coke Zero has flopped, and I still don't understand the difference between that product, Diet Coke, and Diet Coke with Splenda. Didn't Coca-Cola learn anything from their C2 disaster? Or from Pepsi One? Or from Tab Negative Two?

• Finally, how does the Catholic Church convince more young males to join the priesthood, when the profession forbids sex, requires getting up early on Sunday, and triggers associations with sexually abusive pedophiles? Pop culture references, of course. One priest in the Archdiocese of Indianapolis created the Matrix poster below.

Doesn't it violate one of the Ten Commandments for someone (other than God) to suggest that he is "the one"? Woah.

--Junichi

DEAD CHINESE PEOPLE BECOME ART EXHIBITS

For $19.95, I See Dead People

The Museum of Science and Industry in Tampa, Florida is showcasing an exhibit called "BODIES, the Exhibition," which features twenty actual human cadavers from China with their skin replaced with a clear plastic substance that exposes their internal organs. The bodies are displayed in poses like "Soccer Player" and "Running Man" (pictured above).

According to the Chinese government, the cadavers are Chinese people who died of natural causes and whose bodies went unclaimed or unidentified before being turned over to a medical school in China. Whatever. Given China's sketchy human rights record, I am a bit skeptical of these claims. If I were at this exhibit, I'd be checking for tank bruises.

The museum is defying a decision of the Florida Anatomical Board, which regulates the distribution of cadavers for research and education. The Board voted 4-2 to deny approval for the exhibit, but museum officials don't think the board has authority to block the exhibit and told members to drop dead.

One might argue that the public display of actual cadavers isn't anything new: King Tut's family probably didn't want his body being paraded around for tourists. (Nor would they be thrilled that he is best remembered as being "born in Arizona" and "moved to Babylonia.") But then again, King Tut's children, who probably didn't inherit their father's funkiness, aren't alive today. And there was no chance that King Tut was a revolutionary political prisoner held in captivity by an oppressive government.

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #20

Is the Pantera too loud, or are you bothered that I'm as old as your dad?

This Week's Question:

If you're hoping to heat things up with your date, what music do you play to set the mood?


To truly aid other Poplicks readers, feel free to leave the track listings of your "make-out mixtape" in the comments.

--Junichi

TESTIFYING ON BATTLE RAPS

This story was already rather nutty to begin with: a teenager at a school in Riverside is being expelled for writing "threatening" rap lyrics. The way the defense has been trying to argue their case is that this is just typical hip-hop bravado, on some, "when I was 12, I went to hell for snuffing Jesus," type illness but the administration sees it differently. (Just to give you an example of the lyrics in question: "So watch what you say about me, I'm everywhere son, And the word of mouth is that I'm carrying guns.")

In any case, in the above-linked story, it seems that my colleague Bakari Kitwana got called as a witness for the defense:

Kitwana said rap vocabulary is misunderstood by people unfamiliar with hip-hop. Battle rap "can get pretty nasty in terms of the language," he said, but the words don't lead to violence. "It's absolutely a verbal challenge," he said. Kitwana called Latour's songs "amateurish" and "standard fare" but encouraged him to continue his efforts.

(In other words: step your verbal game up, lil soldier).

--O.W.

MUSIC AND PARENTHOOD

baby boogaloo
In the comments section of a previous post, Hashim asked me: "Oliver- does fatherhood affect your outlook or taste in music? Do you think it will in the future?"

I've actually spent some idle time thinking about this since my daughter was born back in February. I know when my friend Jeff's kids were born, he found himself engaging with music in new ways, more or less listening through their ears for a change. This taught him, among other things, to appreciate a lot of pop/commercial music that he otherwise might have brushed off. I learned something in that process too since Jeff would write about these experiences in his columns. It's influenced my own re-engagement with "pop" (I meant this in a large, expansive sense of the term and not just the Britney/boy band definition) since, the way I see it, if a five year old can enjoy a song, it probably can't be that bad on some basic levels.

I ask many of my interviewees who have kids how they relate to music vis-a-vis their children. Most recently, I had a long conversation with Santana (Carlos, not Juelz) this past week and he's got three kids, all teens or older. It was interesting to learn that he really re-engaged with contemporary pop, R&B, hip-hop, etc. through his kids. I'm sure, in no small way, they helped contribute to him recording Supernatural and the two albums since (though, in all fairness, Clive Davis also had much to do with it too).

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING...


I asked rappers if they let their young kids listen to hip-hop. Most don't try to really corral their kids' listening habits too fiercely. They don't force feed any music but they might monitor more "inappropriate" content if its deemed too sexual, violent, etc. In my interview with Common earlier this year, he was saying how he wants to make sure his daughter (who's still an adolescent) understands the lyrics she recites, such as "Get Low."

I remember the guys from De La Soul (this was back around 1996) joking that their kids didn't even listen to hip-hop, or if they did, it was the most commercial stuff around. Master P was a different situation altogether since he was trying to groom his son Romeo to be the next Michael Jackson - minus all the freaky stuff - so he was probably the most hands-on in terms of his son's musical education and career.

But in terms of how parenthood has changed my outlook on music...I don't think it has in overt ways. There's been unintentional consequences: the rigors of fatherhood, especially as a stay-at-home dad, mean that I don't get to listen to as much music as I once did. I have a stack of 12"s that's at least 50 deep sitting on my office floor, dating back at least half a year, that I still haven't gotten around to listening too. Don't even ask about my CD stacks.

But beyond just the logistical aspects of it...I haven't yet retuned my consciousness into thinking about music through Ella's ears. In other words, I don't wonder whether or not she'd be into the same songs I'd like. And in terms of content, I'm no more or less critical of lyrical content and politics now then when I was before. Again, this might change as she gets older and I realize how her exposure to pop culture is shaping her consciousness. I'm just not very good at projecting that far ahead though.

I can't speak for anyone but I don't think parenthood changes your relationship to music so much as simply growing older. The older one gets, sometimes, the harder it is to reconcile that with the music they loved as youth...especially if the music has evolved beyond recognition. Obviously, this applies to hip-hop fairly well.

For me though, I think I've tried to avoid finding comfort in music that rings of nostalgia. This probably explains why I never understood why people went crazy for the last Little Brother album or De La Soul's uneven Art Official Intelligence series. Yet, it seemed like everyone over 30 really dug on them. I just didn't get it. I don't know if I want to get it.

It's not like I force myself to like Young Jeezy or Slim Thug or any of the other newcomer MCs that have all the dope boys goin' crazy. What I try to do is leave myself open to all this. I don't have to love it, but I should be open-minded to at least liking it. Believe me, when I find myself listening to the Ying Yang Twins and I'm enjoying myself? That's a pretty big step for someone who used to write almost exclusively on independent, underground hip-hop.

---

In any case, returning to parenthood...I'll leave off by saying that I don't go out of my way to play music for my daughter though music floats through her daily life constantly: at home, in the car. She's too young to remember any of this but I like the idea that all the sounds in the background will form part of her subconscious set of experiences.

It might seem strange that for someone who DJs and audioblogs and used to do radio, etc...I don't feel a compulsion to guide Ella's musical education...at least not for a while. Maybe once she's older and we're able to communicate more directly, I'll make it a point to try to gauge her tastes: does she like hip-hop? Or soul? Or jazz? Is she responding to rhythms and/or melodies? For now, I'm happy that she'll respond to certain songs and often times, I'll pick her up and swing her to the beat, just to give her a sense of what rhythm feels like. That's really more about connecting with your kids and using music to do it rather than a focus on the music specifically. They're still good moments though.

Bottomline though? As I say, everyone should give their child a sound education. Now...as to whether or not Ella will have open run at anything in my record collection that she might want...hmm...I'll have to get back to you on that one.

---

By the way - I'm so sending Ella to something like this when she's old enough.

--O.W.

HOW LIBERAL, OR BLACK, IS YOUR CITY?

From Motown to Mormon-town

The Bay Area Center for Voting Research (BACVR) just conducted a study ranking all 237 major cities in America according to their political ideology, as determined by voting patterns.

The results themselves are interesting: who would have guessed that Detroit is the most liberal city in America? And who would have guessed that Berkeley, CA -- home of the nuclear-free zone, Indigenous Peoples' Day, and countless anti-war resolutions -- would only clock in at No. 3, losing to Gary, Indiana(!), the second most liberal city.

And had I been given the chance to bet on it, I would have lost both my life savings and my virginity over the fact that Hartford, CT (#12) is more liberal than both Boston (#24) and NYC (#21).

What's more interesting -- but not surprising at all -- is the correlation between a city's political ideology and its racial makeup. Detroit, the most liberal city, is 82% black and also has a significant Arab American population. Indeed, the cities with the largest black populations dominate the top of the list, with the only exceptions being college towns like Cambridge and Berkeley.

On the other end of the list, Provo, Utah, the country's most conservative city, is not surprisingly 89% white, with a less than 1% black population.

Which is to say, the political divide in this country is not so much red vs. blue, but black vs. white, and increasingly so. The white liberals are either dying off or becoming more conservative.

While BACVR's press releases don't address the effect of other racial minorities, there's no doubt that African Americans -- more than any other racial group -- vote most consistently and most consistently Democratic.

Here's a full list of the rankings:

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING...

Rank	City	State
1	Detroit	Michigan
2	Gary	Indiana
3	Berkeley	California
4	District of Columbia
5	Oakland	California
6	Inglewood	California
7	Newark	New Jersey
8	Cambridge	Massachusetts
9	San Francisco	California
10	Flint	Michigan
11	Cleveland	Ohio
12	Hartford	Connecticut
13	Paterson	New Jersey
14	Baltimore	Maryland
15	New Haven	Connecticut
16	Seattle	Washington
17	Chicago	Illinois
18	Philadelphia	Pennsylvania
19	Birmingham	Alabama
20	St. Louis	Missouri
21	New York	New York
22	Providence	Rhode Island
23	Minneapolis	Minnesota
24	Boston	Massachusetts
25	Buffalo	New York
26	New Orleans	Louisiana
27	Ann Arbor	Michigan
28	Jersey City	New Jersey
29	Portland	Oregon
30	Daly City	California
31	Atlanta	Georgia
32	Dallas	Texas
33	Hayward	California
34	Madison	Wisconsin
35	Pittsburgh	Pennsylvania
36	St. Paul	Minnesota
37	Los Angeles	California
38	Rochester	New York
39	Memphis	Tennessee
40	Milwaukee	Wisconsin
41	Vallejo	California
42	Dayton	Ohio
43	Bridgeport	Connecticut
44	Springfield	Massachusetts
45	Syracuse	New York
46	Jackson	Mississippi
47	Jackson	Mississippi
48	Akron	Ohio
49	Denver	Colorado
50	Richmond	Virginia
51	El Monte	California
52	Pasadena	California
53	Toledo	Ohio
54	Eugene	Oregon
55	Elizabeth	New Jersey
56	Cincinnati	Ohio
57	Santa Rosa	California
58	Worcester	Massachusetts
59	Kansas City	Missouri
60	Kansas City	Kansas
61	Durham	North Carolina
62	Sunnyvale	California
63	Alexandria	Virginia
64	Fremont	California
65	Tallahassee	Florida
66	Pomona	California
67	Lansing	Michigan
68	Erie	Pennsylvania
69	Savannah	Georgia
70	Long Beach	California
71	Sacramento	California
72	Greensboro	North Carolina
73	Hollywood	Florida
74	San Jose	California
75	Norwalk	California
76	Lowell	Massachusetts
77	Aurora	Colorado
78	Columbus	Ohio
79	Concord	California
80	Norfolk	Virginia
81	Salinas	California
82	Columbia	South Carolina
83	South Bend	Indiana
84	North Las Vegas	Nevada
85	Oxnard	California
86	Fort Lauderdale	Florida
87	Portsmouth	Virginia
88	Raleigh	North Carolina
89	Pembroke Pines	Florida
90	Burbank	California
91	Glendale	California
92	Stamford	Connecticut
93	Austin	Texas
94	Virginia Beach	Virginia
95	Salt Lake City	Utah
96	Tacoma	Washington
97	Des Moines	Iowa
98	Athens	Georgia
99	Bellevue	Washington
100	Hampton	Virginia
101	Brownsville	Texas
102	Little Rock	Arkansas
103	West Covina	California
104	Orlando	Florida
105	St Petersburg	Florida
106	Downey	California
107	Fontana	California
108	Tampa	Florida
109	San Bernadino	California
110	Augusta	Georgia
111	Beaumont	Texas
112	Stockton	California
113	Aurora	Illinois
114	Warren	Michigan
115	Laredo	Texas
116	El Paso	Texas
117	Grand Rapids	Michigan
118	Coral Springs	Florida
119	San Diego	California
120	Miami	Florida
121	Nashville-Davidson	Tennessee
122	Santa Ana	California
123	Joliet	Illinois
124	Rockford	Illinois
125	Charlotte	North Carolina
126	Tempe	Arizona
127	Yonkers	New York
128	Fayetteville	North Carolina
129	Cedar Rapids	Iowa
130	Reno	Nevada
131	Fort Collins	Colorado
132	Pueblo	Colorado
133	Las Vegas	Nevada
134	San Buenaventura	California
135	Moreno Valley	California
136	Tucson	Arizona
137	Ontario	California
138	Huntsville	Alabama
139	Newport News	Virginia
140	Salem	Oregon
141	Peoria	Illinois
142	Knoxville	Tennessee
143	Spokane	Washington
144	Winston-Salem	North Carolina
145	Albuquerque	New Mexico
146	Honolulu	Hawaii
147	Columbus	Georgia
148	Grand Prairie	Texas
149	Chattanooga	Tennessee
150	Green Bay	Wisconsin
151	Louisville	Kentucky
152	Waterbury	Connecticut
153	Lakewood	Colorado
154	Montgomery	Alabama
155	Indianapolis	Indiana
156	Shreveport	Louisiana
157	Independence	Missouri
158	Westminster	Colorado
159	Manchester	New Hampshire
160	Chula Vista	California
161	Palmdale	California
162	Sterling Heights	Michigan
163	Fort Worth	Texas
164	Topeka	Kansas
165	Vancouver	Washington
166	Fresno	California
167	Mobile	Alabama
168	Riverside	California
169	Irvine	California
170	Lexington-Fayette	Kentucky
171	Torrance	California
172	Phoenix	Arizona
173	McAllen	Texas
174	Arvada	Colorado
175	San Antonio	Texas
176	Henderson	Nevada
177	Houston	Texas
178	Springfield	Illinois
179	Evansville	Indiana
180	Livonia	Michigan
181	Baton Rouge	Louisiana
182	Irving	Texas
183	Omaha	Nebraska
184	Boise City	Idaho
185	Thousand Oaks	California
186	Mesquite	Texas
187	Lincoln	Nebraska
188	Sioux Falls	South Dakota
189	Modesto	California
190	Costa Mesa	California
191	Oceanside	California
192	Naperville	Illinois
193	Fort Wayne	Indiana
194	Springfield	Missouri
195	Chesapeake	Virginia
196	Pasadena	Texas
197	Waco	Texas
198	Jacksonville	Florida
199	Chandler	Arizona
200	Anaheim	California
201	Clarksville	Tennessee
202	Carrollton	Texas
203	Corpus Christi	Texas
204	Scottsdale	Arizona
205	Fullerton	California
206	Santa Clarita	California
207	Glendale	Arizona
208	Wichita	Kansas
209	Garland	Texas
210	Rancho Cucamonga	California
211	Tulsa	Oklahoma
212	Lancaster	California
213	Huntington Beach	California
214	Overland Park	Kansas
215	Anchorage	Alaska
216	Oklahoma City	Oklahoma
217	Clearwater	Florida
218	Corona	California
219	Simi Valley	California
220	West Valley City	Utah
221	Garden Grove	California
222	Cape Coral	Florida
223	Arlington	Texas
224	Allentown	Pennsylvania
225	Peoria	Arizona
226	Escondido	California
227	Mesa	Arizona
228	Orange	California
229	Lafayette	Louisiana
230	Bakersfield	California
231	Colorado Springs	Colorado
232	Gilbert	Arizona
233	Plano	Texas
234	Hialeah	Florida
235	Abilene	Texas
236	Lubbock	Texas
237	Provo	Utah

(credit: LO)

--Junichi

TA-NEHISI COATES GIVES UP ON RAP, GETS UP ON ROCK

no middle ground?
Saw this on Time Magazine's online site: Ta-Nehisi Coates writes an autobiographical essay about how he, as a black man, has felt estranged from today's hip-hop yet has felt, at times, torn with the racial expectations of what he's supposed to listen to. In the end, Coates learns to put down his 50 Cent and embrace Radiohead instead, with no contradiction.

I'll be honest - I have a great deal of respect for Coates as a writer - always have - and I think he's tackling an important issue here. However, I always wince when I see someone open up an essay with: "In the spring of 2004, I quit hip-hop. It wasn't the first time."

It's not for me to judge - my relationship to hip-hop is informed by race but not the same way that Coates, as a Black man, has to negotiate it. This said, hip-hop has proven to be such a dynamic and mercurial music that it's hard to imagine that what we hear today will be what tomorrow sounds like. "Quitting" an entire musical genre seems like a drastic step to get over a temporary estrangement (unless of course, it's not temporary). Some pull quotes:

"...that spring when I walked into a bar with 50 Cent and Fabolous pumping at maximum volume, it felt like an audio beat down--everything I ever hated about hip-hop blaring at me in all its nihilistic glory. I left with an equally black and dismayed friend. This was absurd--two black men in their late 20s acting like two white women in their early 70s. We could not close the night on that depressing thought, so we headed to another party, where the DJ deftly mixed the White Stripes and Eurythmics. We sat down. We ordered from the top shelf."

"...the night I traded 50 Cent for Jack White, I knew something fundamental had changed, that the Soul Train had pulled into its final stop. When I went home that night, it was all devastatingly clear to me. I'd fallen for white music."

"I was a black-music nerd, for sure out of love but also out of a need to find some common ground with my own. I never explored beyond that, mostly because the kids in my neighborhood believed the words white and music to be antithetical."

"The fact is that white music made me understand how black I really was. I realized that I was connected by experience and history, connected in a way that didn't require recitations of Big Daddy Kane. But more freeing was the simple sense of disconnection--the ability to listen to White Music the way white kids must have listened to jazz, soul or hip-hop."

--O.W.

KANYE WEST: LATE REGISTRATION PREVIEW

maybe they need to call it early enrollment instead
Damn - the Internet moves fast. The final tracklisting for Kanye's new album just came out in the last day or so but folks have already managed to jack the finished version and upload it. Late Registration is supposed to drop Aug. 30 but how much you want to bet they'll move up that date? Within 72 hours, I assume every internet junkie is going to have this on their HD.

I gave this two listen-thrus so frankly, just take everything I'm about to say with a grain of salt.

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING...


1) For those praying for the sophomore slump...it's not happening. This isn't just a passable album nor is it College Dropout Part 2. Everything on here sounds more mature and fussed over. That doesn't necessarily make it better than College Dropout (I'm not ready to make that kind of assessment) but it's no fall-off either. Believe me - I would have been happy if the album sucked and Kanye was forced to dial his diva-ego down a notch but really? I couldn't believe how many times I heard a song off here and thought, "damn, this is really kind of good."

2) If you hated Kanye on the last album....this won't change your mind. Yeah, I think his lyrics are a bit stepped up (at least flow-wise...I haven't studied the actual verses yet) but if you didn't like his voice and flow before, he's just serving more of the same. Slightly improved but it's not like he's about to knock Jay-Z, Nas or Eminem off their perch.

3) The music, for the most part, is great, especially if you're a fan of his production style (and I am). It's not as straight-loop heavy as his earlier songs have been - there's definitely more instrumentation and musicianship being flexed on a few songs (I want to call it "post-Andre 3000"). There's also some surprisingly rugged drum tracks that are a welcome departure from all the hand-claps that he typically produces with (though there are hand-claps here as well).

4) The Great:

• "Heard 'Em Say" (feat. Adam Levine from Maroon 5) - this is the first song (after the opening skit) and it's got a sublime, soulful track - a drizzle of keys, subtly fuzzed out bassline and a deceptively simple drum track. Levine makes for a surprisingly good cameo on - I don't know if this has much single potential but it definitely has crossover appeal.
  
• "Gold Digger" - sure, people are already bored of it (and I can feel that) but it's fun song. Within the sequencing of the album, it helps maintain the album's opening energy.
  
• "Crack Music" (feat. The Game) - The Game isn't really on this - he just does the hook, no verses (which I'm certain many prefer). Hardest beat on the album - dumb rugged drums, a vocal loop and some horn stabs. Kanye tries to get all Black Panther political. Do with that what you will.
  
• "We Major" (feat. Nas and Really Doe) - again, I've seen very mixed opinions about this online (it leaked a few days ago) but I like the concentration of overlaid horns on here. It's dense without being cluttered, anthematic without being loud. Really Doe = eh but I'm not mad at Nas' cameo.
  
• "Hey Mama" - the vocal loop is mad soulful...this sounds like something that Cam'ron would have destroyed (in a good way) had he been given the track. The chorus is a little on the cheese side but I can look past that. It also begins the the album's trail to the end well.
  
• "Gone" (feat. Consequence and Cam'ron) - Like "Heard 'Em Say," this is powered on a pinkling piano loop and a simple drum break, plus some strings thrown in but this is a very sparse track, all things considered. Damn - I know where these drums are from, I can even hear the OG in my head but for the life of me, I can't remember what it is. Anyways, Cam turns in a strong cameo and I wasn't mad at Consequence's turn either. This is the last "official" song and it's as good as opening song except that Kanye should have stuck to one verse instead of two. He overstays his welcome.
  
• "Late" - Second of two bonus tracks. Track is bonkers, I can't even describe it adequately (especially not at 1am) but the live electric piano is a very nice touch.

5) The OK:

• "Touch the Sky" (feat. Lupe Fiasco) - the beat (from a Curtis Mayfield sample I think) is lively, very '70s, very early disco. I can see "single" stamped on this. Liked it, didn't love it.
  
• "Drive Slow" (feat. Paul Wall and GLC) - Not a bad song though it sounds like it could have been on the Gorillaz album. That's not a dis. Not exactly.
  
• "Celebration" - it's pleasant enough. Super mellow, like a Patrice Rushen song from the early '80s.

6) The "Eh"

• "My Way Home" (feat. Common) - it's not wack but it totally sounds like a leftover track from Be, down to the Gil Scott Heron loop running beneath it.
  
• "Roses" - So Andre 3000. Minus Andre 3000.
  
• "Bring Me Down" (feat. Brandy) - Overwrought, overloaded. My least favorite song on here thus far.
  
• "Addiction" - the track is ok, the concept is interesting but the execution doesn't come together.
  
• "Diamonds From Sierra Leone" Remix (feat. Jay-Z) - I never liked this beat. Still don't.
  
• "Diamonds From Sierra Leone" - they include the OG version as a bonus track. Why?

7) Do the math: 7 great, 3 ok, 6 "eh". That doesn't look crazy good but considering that three of the weakest songs are all bunched in the middle (and thus skippable all at once), it probably flows better than with different sequencing. More to the point, what's good on here looks to be very good and not just passable. I gotta sit with this more over the weekend and get a better read on it but for now, I'll take the gamble in saying that this likely won't disappoint Kanye's fans (though, as noted, it won't silence his haters either).

--O.W.

WHAT'S IN NAME: WRITER, BLOGGER, JOURNALIST, ETC.

While the much anticipated blog beef to end all blog beefs (Kris Ex vs. Hashim vs. B.C.) blew over before it ever really started (though I do have to give credit here: news release dissing is some next level sh--, no sarcasmo), there's been some interesting conversations that have cropped up in the wake. Here's some background reading for you to start with:

"The Problem With So-Called Hip Hop Journalists That Blog" (My Stunted Growth)

"Why Online Journalism Is The New Voice of Hip-Hop" (SOHH.com)

"What is a Blogger?" (BomaniJones.com)

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING...


Thoughts:
1) I don't ever describe myself as a "hip hop journalist/writer/blogger." I write for a living, I enjoy writing - these things don't require a prefix. I don't have a problem with those who self-describe themselves as a "hip-hop blogger" or whatever - but it's usually not a term that I see people put on themselves - it's more often ascribed to them.

2) I don't think there's a difference between writing and blogging. Blogging is writing, period. I got my start as a "writer" back in the pre-WWW days of USENET groups, posting reviews and opinions to places like rec.music.hip-hop and alt.rap. I didn't think of it as "writing," back then but that experience was essentially like what blogging is today: self-publishing via an online medium. Those who claim that blogging "isn't really writing" are simply being elitist snobs.

(This said - blogging rarely engenders good writing - but I've already spoken on that before.)

3) The difference that writing professionally is A) $$$ and B) editing (and if you're blogging for pay, you may not have to worry about editing). These boil down to simple accountability. Once you start getting paid to write - including paid to blog - this means that you're acquiring something that can also be taken away ($$$). As such, most professional writers have to be concerned about how their content is received. In contrast, most amateur bloggers are only beholden to themselves.

4) Hashim, in the comments section of My Stunted Growth's post points out that if there are professional writers who resent bloggers it's because they presume bloggers just want to be pros. Hashim argues that many bloggers want nothing to do with professional writing. I would actually disagree with that - if someone offered to pay you to continue to blog what you already blog about, I very much doubt that many folks would spit at the opportunity.

Perhaps what Hashim is getting at is the difference between print and blogging. There's some bloggers who want to transition into print and others who could give a rat's ass about print writing. And frankly, I don't blame the latter. I think the good point that Bomani makes in his post is that a lot of professional writers turned to blogging to escape all the b.s. of the print world.

That's certainly a big reason why I blog - to have a medium that I control. I read this in Bomani's comments - Spider Goodlegs (yeah, the Mindset is everywhere) wrote to say that, "sovereignty is the envy of all writers" and she's goddamn right. That's what every writer - regardless of medium - dreams about: the unfettered ability to speak your mind without fear of censorship or reprisal.

6) However, the irony of the blogosphere, and this goes back to MSG's post, is that most bloggers (myself too at times) gleefully stomp on sovereignty by refusing to allow any disagreeable comment/opinion to escape scorn and ridicule. There's a certain bloggger mentality where they think their purpose is to keep everyone else in check. As such, while blogging may allow print writers to escape some rigors (psycho editors, fact-checkers, etc.) you simply are trading them in for new rigors (getting hated on my legions of anonymous bloggers).

By the way, before I forget, while I think My Stunted Growth makes some good points about the ability for critics to themselves take criticism, it's a little ironic that s/he's writing about this in the context of saying that (professional) critics shouldn't criticize (blogging) critics who criticize (professional) critics. If criticism is open to all, then shouldn't bloggers be open to having their criticism criticized? Seems to me that bloggers are notoriously sensitive to being criticized as much as anyone else.

7) This brings me to what I think is the biggest difference between print and blogging - and what aggravates me the most. You can write a scathing, even profane letter to the editor at a magazine or newspaper but they don't allow you to write in anonymously. You have to give up your name and city at the very least. Blogging, in this case, is less like print and far more like talk radio: it affords a level of anonymity that allows people to viciously attack others without any accountability.

I might write a scathing review of an album but at least my name's attached to it. I take responsibility for my opinions and people can (and do) call me on it. Most bloggers? They say things they would never say to someone's face and on top of that, can hide behind the safety of the internet curtain. It's cowardly. People who claim that blogging is meant to provide a "safe space" violate the spirit of that space when they're online, dumping on people, then running and hiding like roaches in the light. I have zero respect for that.

I'll say this much - and this may seem like a surprising compliment for me to pay - but whatever issues I might have with B.C., at least he's willing to put his name to what he writes. His site is popular not just because of his opinions - though that's obviously part of it - but also because he puts himself out there as a person and not some message board-type toy who only writes under "hiphophaterplayer331." I can't say that about most of the wanna-bees trying to bite his style but unwilling to put their real name on it.

---

The conversation continues in the comments but I wanted to add a few thoughts.

1) When I say "real name" - I am saying "your legal name" but as Jay Smooth points out, a pseudonym fits somewhere in between, especially if you've developed a reputation in the public going by that pseudonym. So, for example, Davey D obviously was not born with the name Davey D but his identity in public is as Davey D and that public identity creates a form of accountability. However, the line between a pseudonym as nom de plume and an internet handle to acquire anonymity may be thin, but I still think there's a difference.

2) I'd disagree with Hashim who says that blogging is not a medium one controls. Yes, it's very much open to feedback but bottomline, unless you're doing something patently illegal, no one can shut you down, change your content. That is a fundamental difference from writing for a publication. It makes every difference.

3) Just to clarify: I don't think bloggers would give up independence for money. But if a blogger is offered the opportunity to write for money WITH independence, who's going to say no? My point being: I don't think bloggers reject the idea of doing what they do as professionals (i.e. being paid for their work) - but Hashim is correct in pointing out that the real issue here is independence.

4) Hashim also writes that "blogging is a conversation." And upon reflection, I would agree with that, especially compared to print writing which does tend to be more "one way." I need to dwell on this more because I think bloggers both care and don't care about what they write but I can't quite figure out how to break that down that seeming contradiction.

--O.W.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN AGREES WITH VICENTE FOX

crazy like a fox?
We admit, we didn't see this spin coming. From the EURWeb:

Louis Farrakhan agrees with the incendiary statement from Mexican President Vicente Fox – that Mexican immigrants take jobs "that not even blacks want.” The Nation of Islam leader said Sunday that blacks aren’t trying to go to farms and pick fruit because they already “picked enough cotton.”

"Why are you so foolishly sensitive when somebody is telling you the truth?" he asked the congregation at Milwaukee’s Mercy Memorial Baptist Church.

--O.W.

RAP GETTING A BAD RAP?

i'm not a role model
The L.A. Times featured a provocative editorial yesterday morning from Barnard College professor, Thaddeus Russell. Russell discusses the rise in criticism against hip-hop coming from within the African American community, for example, citing recent denouncements of Lil Kim by columnist DeWayne Wickham who called Kim, "a diva of smut." This follows on other notable critiques emerging from both the Black intelligensia and celebrity ranks: Jesse Jackson, Bill Cosby, Al Sharpton and others have publicly denounced the cultural values of hip-hop. Sharpton, for example, has argued that current rap lyrics and videos, "make it easy for black culture to be dismissed by the majority," and that white consumers are learning to, "identify black male culture with a culture of violence." While one cannot dismiss these concerns outright as merely the result of a generation gap, Prof. Russell points out that this is just the latest in a cycle of Black music styles to come under attack by community elders. He writes,

"In fact, blues, jazz, rock 'n' roll and rhythm and blues were all denounced by advocates for racial integration, and for the same reasons rap is now under attack. In the 1920s, several civil rights leaders were so concerned about the sexual and violent content of popular blues and jazz songs that they established a record company to "undertake the job of elevating the musical taste of the race."

Russell discusses negative reaction to the blues in the early 20th century as well as Martin Luther King Jr's criticisms of rock n' roll and R&B as "degrading" and "immoral." Russell's ultimate argument turns back to history to drive its point home:

"Many scholars argue that the creators of jazz, blues, rock and R&B were great because of their willingness and ability to work outside European cultural forms and to speak about elements of the human condition that white artists would not, such as sex and violence. Those who attack the latest form of black popular music for the sake of racial unity and "respectability" might stop to consider which side, in the history that will be written of this time, they wish to be on."

--O.W.

FIRST ASIAN WOMAN EXECUTIVE CHIEF

The First Executive!

History was made this weekend when President Bush selected Cristeta "Cris" Comerford to become the White House Executive Chief of Staff.

Ms. Comerford is the first woman, the first Asian American, and the first Pilipina to become Executive Chief, a position often dubbed 'the most powerful person in Washington.'

By appointing Ms. Comerford to be the highest ranking member of the Executive Office of the President, President Bush is sending the message that women of color must lead our domestic policy towards ... wait ... oops, sorry. I misheard the news.

Ms. Comerford was appointed White House Executive Chef, not White House Executive Chief.

I apologize for the error.

To be clear, the role of White House Executive Chief of Staff continues to be occupied by a white male, as it has throughout history.

And the official White House message to women of color remains: stay in the kitchen.

--Junichi

RACE AND HIP-HOP: A CLARIFICATION

Some of you (like...4 people?) might have caught a C-Span 2 broadcast of a panel I was on in Chicago from the other month. The panel was put together by author Bakari Kitwana (Why White Kids Love Hip-Hop) and it was slated to be a discussion about race and hip-hop, a topic that, as some of you may know, I've dialogued about in the past.

During the course of the panel, a question came up as to whether there was a changing audience for hip-hop, one that was divorced from the music/culture's roots in Blackness and I answered, yes, I did think that was happening and had been happening for a while. This next point is very important:

I used Aesop Rock - and then his label, Definitive Jux - as an example of this phenom in motion, where there is a sub-community of White rap fans who are largely divorced it seems - both culturally and spatially - from Black rap fans. However, in the spur of the moment, I fear that I may have been coming off like I was suggesting something like, "Def Jux makes rap for white kids."

This was not my intent.

Just to be clear, I do NOT think Def Jux makes hip-hop for white kids. I know one of their artists quite well on a personal level - Mr. Lif - and I know that he absolutely wants his music to be heard by as diverse an audience as possible and i have no doubt that his feelings are shared by other label-mates like Camu Tao, Murs, and El-P himself. This was a case, on my part, of being hasty with a public comment that I should have thought through more and articulated better.

I do stand by the suggestion that Def Jux is perceived that way. I hear conversations all the time by folks who see the label and especially artists like Aesop, as primarily appealing only to white audiences - whether true or not. And that perception has the power to become a self-fulfilling myth. It wasn't my intent to exacerbate that perception however (though one could say that even drawing attention to it has the end result of enforcing it).

I know me saying this won't likely change Def Jux fans' opinion of me or my comments but I felt it important to clear the air while I still could. (Note: this is why I hate being interviewed on the fly which is rather ironic since I interview other people all the time).

Conclusion: O-Dub thinks Def Jux makes music for the people (but he doesn't think "the people" share that same conclusion).

--O.W.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #19

Do you like gladiator movies?

This Week's Question:

What's the one thing you'd like to change about air travel?


P.S. The airline industry is projecting a $5.5 billion loss this year, so it could certainly use any suggestions that might improve business.

--Junichi

30 FACTS THAT ARE DIFFICULT FOR ME TO ACCEPT

I no longer believe that the children are our future.

As part of my OCD, I keep a list of things I read or other facts/thoughts that are difficult for me to accept as true. I do this for no good reason except to come to terms with them, and possibly, to share them with you, as I've done before.

Here are my latest thirty I've recorded:

1. Hollaback spelled backwards is, basically, Kabbalah. (Thanks, Len)


2. IBM, which introduced the first PC, no longer makes PCs.


3. This year, our federal government will spend $168 million for sexual-abstinence education but only $13 million for adoption awareness. (Source: Parade, April 10, 2005)


4. Ben Affleck's reformed-alcoholic dad, Tim, became Robert Downey Jr.'s drug counselor.


5. Since the invasion of Iraq, the US has allocated $19 billion for reconstruction and related projects in Iraq. $19 billion is more than the combined annual budgets for the National Cancer Institute, Amtrak, the Low-Income Home Energy Assistance Program, Federal Air Marshals, operation of the National Park Service, Homeless Assistance Grants, the Superfund Hazardous Substance Cleanup, Home-Delivered Meals to the Elderly and youth employment and training programs. (Source: Parade, April 10, 2005)


6. Chris Rock just turned 40.


7. Karl Rove is not in prison.


8. Popeye has four nephews, one of whom is named Poopeye. (The others are Pipeye, Peepeye, and Pupeye.)


9. The government spent more than $40 million for the Whitewater and Monica Lewinsky investigations but only $15 million for the 9/11 Commission to examine the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. (Source: Parade, April 10, 2005)


10. The Canary Islands were named after wild dogs - canis in Latin. The songbirds we call canaries were named after the islands.


11. Vegas will soon host a replica of NYC's "East Village," with a "Meatpacking District" nightlife zone, cops on horseback, and, possibly, the only CBGB in the country.


12. Hootie and the Blowfish sold 16 million copies of their album "Cracked Rear View"


13. The tiny country of Tuvalu negotiated a contract leasing its Internet domain name ".tv" for $50 million in royalties over the next few years.


14. Jack Nicholson, Bobby Darin, and Eric Clapton all discovered that the woman they thought were their sisters was actually their mothers. When he was 32, Bobby Darin not only learned that his "sister" was his mother, but he learned that his "mother" was actually his grandmother.


15. Arizona has an official state neckwear: the bolo tie.


16. I first became aware of two of my favorite comedians of all-time -- Mitch Hedberg and Bill Hicks -- after they died.


17. Ten years ago, Windows 95 was first introduced.


18. There is an independent counsel investigating alleged improprieties by Paula Abdul, but not one for Karl Rove.


19. Gary Dahl of Los Gatos, California became a millionaire in 1975 when he sold over a million of his invention: Pet Rocks.


20. Amman, the capital of Jordan, was once known as Philadelphia.


21. People still use the term "All-American" to describe white Anglo Abercrombie-model-type people without thinking there's anything problematic with the term.


22. Apparently, if you cut an onion in half, rub it on the sole of your foot, and then wait an hour, you'll taste onion in your mouth.


23. John Denver once lost his temper with his wife, Annie (of "Annie's Song"), and sawed their bed in half.


24. China has more English speakers than the United States does.


25. If my stomach does not produce a new layer of mucus every 2 weeks, it will digest itself.


26. The revenue that is generated from gambling is more than the revenue that comes from movies, cruise ships, recorded music, theme parks, and spectator sports combined.


27. In China, September 20 is "Love Your Teeth Day."


28. French fries apparently originated in Belgium, not France.


29. Bob Marley had a white Liverpudlian father.


30. If you farted continuously for six years and nine months, you would produce enough wind equal to the energy of an atomic bomb.


And a bonus one:


31. I could input the names of two of my friends "Jimmy Tran" and "Denizen Kane" as search terms on TiVo and it would automatically record tonight's episode of Def Poetry on HBO. 11:30 tonight! Holla!

--Junichi

DEATH BY GAMING

don't let this happen to you
How come these kind of stories only seem to come out of Asia? Just asking...

Man dies after 50 hours of computer games
South Korean left seat in Internet cafe only to use toilet, take brief naps

SEOUL, South Korea - A South Korean man who played computer games for 50 hours almost non-stop died of heart failure minutes after finishing his mammoth session in an Internet cafe, authorities said on Tuesday.

The 28-year-old man, identified only by his family name Lee, had been playing online battle simulation games at the cybercafe in the southeastern city of Taegu, police said.

Lee had planted himself in front of a computer monitor to play online games on Aug. 3. He only left the spot over the next three days to go to the toilet and take brief naps on a makeshift bed, they said.

"We presume the cause of death was heart failure stemming from exhaustion," a Taegu provincial police official said by telephone.

Lee had recently quit his job to spend more time playing games, the daily JoongAng Ilbo reported after interviewing former work colleagues and staff at the Internet cafe.

After he failed to return home, Lee's mother asked his former colleagues to find him. When they reached the cafe, Lee said he would finish the game and then go home, the paper reported.

He died a few minutes later, it said.

South Korea, one of the most wired countries in the world, has a large and highly developed game industry.

Copyright 2005 Reuters Limited

--O.W.

SOCIAL JUSTICE AT THE 7-ELEVEN

or "THANK U 4 SHOPPING AT 7-ELEVEN & DON'T SHARE YOUR DING DONGS W/ THE HOMELESS"

At the 7-Eleven near USD in San Diego, the cash register's default message states "DO NOT HELP THE BUM OUT SIDE PLEASE THNX," as you can see from my poor photo above. (By the way, there was no "bum" outside the store.)

This anti-homeless message is, of course, part of 7-Eleven's repertoire of innovative tools to eliminate the "unwanted" from loitering outside their convenience stores. According to a recent report from the UK, 7-Eleven's practice of blasting opera and classical music in its parking lots has resulted in fewer acts of vandalism, mugging, and drug deals.

The Slurpee chain's efforts to eliminate drug dealing is ironic, however, since 7-Eleven is the largest tobacco retailer in the United States and arguably the largest distributor of cigarettes to children.

Only today did 7-Eleven finally settle a tobacco-related suit brought by 40 different states, reluctantly agreeing to implement steps to curb sales to minors. So kids, if you want some smokes now, you'll have to get that fake ID laminated and correct the spelling errors.

Finally, on a mostly unrelated note, it's not often that I read much these days about slavery reparations for black Americans.

Thus, I was rather surprised to see the issue mentioned on the cover of a magazine in the aforementioned 7-Eleven, which normally only carries publications like Teen People, Guns & Ammo, and Teen Guns & Ammo.

But apparently, 7-Eleven is now carrying -- indeed, featuring -- Black Men magazine, which highlighted its article on reparations on the lower left corner of the cover of its latest issue.

Of course, I don't think the pro-reparations movement advanced much with this cover photo:

I mean, does anybody need reparations once they have glossy pictures of a "triple-thick temptress" in their hands?

--Junichi

ASK A FREELANCER PT. 5

Rizoh asks: So what you're saying is that if a lawyer seeks employment with an established firm, they ask to see his resume/qualifications, but if a writer wants to be published, all he has to do is write? Got it.


That's not what I was saying. It's not that qualifications don't matter - of course they do. But to borrow your analogy, if you want to become an attorney, you need to go to law school, you need to pass the bar exam. In writing, there is no similar, regimented system. Going to journalism school is not a prerequisite to finding work as a writer. Outside of the daily newspapers, for whom j-school is more relevant, I would guess that most professional writers (by which I mean people who make at least some part of their living as freelancers) don't hold a j-school degree or have even taken a writing class.

As I noted, I think they can only help but I don't think you need to take a class AND THEN write. Start with writing.

Rizoh continues: However, I don't completely agree that a blog has no editorial vision at all.

I meant in terms of the fact that personal blogs don't have an editor that reads over your posts and tells you, "ok, this works, this doesn't, try tightening this up," etc.

I think blog writing is a good way to get in the habit of writing a lot and just learning through practice. But, it can also be a hinderance if it's the only mode of writing you're exposed to. 99% of blog writing simply wouldn't cut it with most publications. At its best, it can give someone a sense of what your interests and even your writing voice is like...but in most cases, it doesn't necessarily suggest to an editor that you'd be able to work within the structure of publication/editorial system. To re-use your previous analogy again, you could be a kick ass debater but that doesn't mean you'd be aces in a courtroom. The two settings might share similarities but there's also a world of difference between them too.

Serg asks: how about you tell me how I can be a music writer by hating on everything that sucks and never having to deal with people telling me I say "f----" too much. I'm kind of getting paid already but I'd like to quit my job and make a living at yelling at people. Kind of like being a rapper but without the rap.

I wish there was such a writing job, but unless you can get Beer and Rap sponsored and syndicated, I think you might have a tough time with it. I like the idea of being a rapper without the rap though. You could be like an anti-hypeman. Or maybe there's a future in stand-up comedy waiting for you.

Seriously though, I don't thin writing has to always be in support of something...but if you don't like something, why waste the words on crapping on it? Believe me, I understand, hate feels good sometimes but to try to make a living at it? Save your soul, young Serg Dun.

--O.W.

ASK A FREELANCER PT. 4

Some questions sent in by my man Henry:

1. What topics/issues should I focus my writing on to stand out as a freelance writer? What subjects in general do music editors look for?

That's a very hard question to answer without using vague, almost cliche terms like, "something interesting!" The easiest way for you to figure this out is simply to read the magazines/publications that you want to break into. See what stories/topics they focus on and try to predict, as best you can, what the "next" story will be that you can pitch that can keep you ahead of - or at least, on top of - the pack. There's no silver bullet answer here though, it entirely depends on the publication and the editor.


2. I don't have any scholastic background in either music or writing yet (well except for a composition class anyway). With nothing but my passion for both music and writing, do I have any chances of succeeding in the freelance world at all? If not, are there any correspondence or online classes you'd recommend?


I'm tempted to bust out laughing here but I know you're actually asking this earnestly. To put it simply: there really is no "scholastic background" necessary to be a good writer. The best way to learn how to write is 1) write, 2) write, 3) get honest, critical feedback from others, 4) write, etc. The act of writing will itself improve your writing over time, especially if you're self-critical enough to really care about your craft and its progress. And feedback is crucial since it's often very hard to get a clear perspective on your own writing.

Believe me, good feedback is very hard to come by. Many editors don't have time to break stuff down for you - they basically just tell you to "change this" or "nix that" and I can understand the necessity of that brevity. But it is important for you to seek feedback, where possible.

If you do feel compelled to take a class, I'd really recommend finding a workshop setting where your work gets peer-reviewed. It can be challenging to take feedback that directly, but if it forces you to think more introspectively about your craft, that's a good thing.


3. Finally, what publications (if you know of any) largely accept first-time writers? I'm sure it's necessary to have been published elsewhere before approaching major magazines like Vibe and XXL.,right?

It really depends on the publication - you'd be surprised at how many "big name" magazines will accept first-time writers (it often helps to know the right people of course) - but I always, always recommend people look at regional publications in their hometown, especially if you have an alternative weekly newspaper (i.e. like the Village Voice or LA Weekly for example) and try starting there. They offer a great platform to start developing your ideas but within a structured environment (vs. a blog or online publication with little editorial vision) that will force you to learn how to write for an editor and for an audience. I definitely wouldn't be where I am today if not for the many years I wrote (and continue to write) for alt weeklies like the SF Bay Guardian and LA Weekly. The pay's not stellar but it's often times more satisfying that writing for glossies where you have much stricter editorial directives placed on you.

--O.W.

THOUGHTS ON JENNINGS

end of an icon
For some strange reason, I've been on a total Peter Jennings eulogy kick since yesterday, TIVOing all the major network evening news shows, two morning shows, listening to NewsHour and other NPR reports online, staying up late to watch the repeat of Larry King Live plus Nightline.

The strange thing is: I was never a Jennings fan growing up - I always rolled with Brokaw - but given Jennings' death, plus Brokaw and Rather's retirements, all happening so recently - I realize that a big part of my childhood memories have now really passed into the proverbial dustbin of history.

It's funny because I used to impatiently tolerate the evening newscasts as a way to get to primetime but now that I'm much older and a news junkie and a journalist of sorts too, I appreciate what these newscasters have represented as icons and proponents for an old school vision of news that has been torn asunder in a cable news/internet age. I've dealt with that latter change far better - not the least of which is because I'm neck deep in it myself - but what Peter, Tom and Dan represented has not - and probably cannot - be duplicated in the new microverses of news that populate our mediascape. Now, for better or for worse, they're gone and with it, I selfishly mourn not just Jennings' passing but the own loss of an anchor (in both senses of the word) from my youth that I just assumed would always be there in some way or another.

(By the way, can I just say that Barbara Walters looks way too young for her age while Dan Rather seems to have aged by a decade since leaving the anchor desk. Brokaw = still dapper.)

--O.W.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #18

The #1 Jump Off

This Week's Question:

Should San Francisco spend $15-25 million dollars to build a barrier underneath the Golden Gate Bridge to prevent suicides?


Brief background: The Golden Gate Bridge is the #1 suicide landmark in the world. Since it opened in 1937, an estimated 1,300 people -- about 20 a year -- have ended their lives there. Jumps are almost always fatal; only a dozen or so have survived. The City is currently entertaining proposals for designs for a potential barrier and studying their potential environmental and design impact.

--Junichi

TEST MY JINGLE!

meow, meow, meow, meow
TaglineGuru.com has released the 100 most influential taglines and jingles since 1948. Just to test your consumer-based mnemonic skills, here's a random selection of jingles. Fill in the blank as to what company/product they're associated with. Many of these should be dumb easy. Others? Maybe not so much...

Taglines
1. Got ______________?
6. Think Different ______________
12. Reach Out and Touch Someone ______________
22. Does She or Doesn't She? ______________
24. I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing? ______________
28. Look, Ma! No Cavities! ______________
38. Hey Mikey! He likes it! ______________
43. With a name like ______________, it has to be good.
44. Nothing comes between me and my ______________.
49. Put a tiger in your tank. ______________
51. How do you spell relief? ______________
53. When ______________ talks, people listen.
60. It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken. ______________
64. Thank you for your support. ______________
65. Try it, you'll like it. ______________
88. My wife, I think I'll keep her. ______________
92. A silly millimeter long. ______________

Jingles
1. My bologna has a first name, it's ______________.
6. For all that you do, this ______________ for you.
7. A little dab'll do you. ______________
11. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. ______________
15. Things go better with ______________.
16. In the valley of the jolly - ho ho ho - ______________.
21. Nobody doesn't like ______________.
28. ______________, the San Francisco treat.

If you get really stuck, you can cheat and go to the full list.

--O.W.

THE DEATH OF THE NATIVE AMERICAN MASCOT?

I don't want to become a banana slug!

Decades after blackface minstrelsy became taboo and Illinois' Pekin Chinks became the Pekin Dragons, the practice of using Native Americans as university and team mascots is still embraced and guarded with the stubborn fortitude that Southern racists use to defend the Confederate flag. (Hello, Dukes of Hazzard remake!)

But today may be a major turning point.

Up until now, the struggle to eliminate them has only seen limited success. During the last three decades, over two-thirds of the schools and universities whose teams originally used Native Americans or Native American symbols have abandoned them. (E.g., in 1975, the Stanford Indians became the Stanford Cardinal, which is a color, which is only outrivaled in effeteness by their mascot, which is a felt tree designed by a class of underachieving kindergarteners. But I digress.)

More recently, the D.C. Circuit court kept alive a suit seeking to strip the NFL's Washington Redskins of their trademark. As for creative protests, perhaps, you've heard of the Fighting Whities.

But the most famous examples of Indigenous mascots -- the Braves, Indians, Redskins, Chiefs, Seminoles, Warriors -- have no expiration date in sight.

Now here's the big news: today and tomorrow, the NCAA will be considering a list of measures forwarded by the NCAA's Minority Opportunities and Interests Committee involving the use of American Indian nicknames or symbols. While an outright ban is not one of the proposed measures, the NCAA may consider the "confederate flag" option where it will not schedule championship events in states that fly the Confederate flag, or in this case, at colleges that use American Indians as mascots or nicknames in an offensive manner.

In effect, the NCAA will put a lot of pressure on the following teams to change their nicknames:

Alcorn State Braves
Arkansas State Indians
Bradley Braves
California State-Stanislaus Warriors
Carthage (Wis.) Redmen
Catawba (N.C.) Indians
Central Michigan Chippewas
Chowan (N.C.) Braves
East Stroudsburg (Pa.) Warriors
Florida State Seminoles
Hawaii Warriors
Husson (Maine) Braves
Illinois Fighting Illini
Indiana (Pa.) Indians
Louisiana-Monroe Indians
Lycoming (Pa.) Warriors
McMurry (Texas) Indians
Merrimack (Mass.) Warriors
Midwestern State (Texas) Indians
Mississippi College Choctaws
Newberry (S.C.) Indians
North Carolina-Pembroke Braves
North Dakota Fighting Sioux
San Diego State Aztecs
Southeastern Oklahoma State Savages (!!!)
Stonehill (Mass.) Chieftains-x
Utah Utes
West Georgia Braves-x
William & Mary Tribe
Wisconsin Lutheran Warriors

x-Have since changed their mascots

While I am not betting on it, this could signal the beginning of the end of using an ethnicity, tribe, or race as a nickname or mascot, give or take the Fighting Irish.

--Junichi

NAS HAD BEEF WITH KRS?

hidden beef, crouching anger?
Anyone want to clear this up? i'm chalking it up to bad reporting but maybe I'm not that deep.

From Contactmusic.com:

NAS ENDS RAP FEUD WITH KRS-ONE ONSTAGE

Rapper NAS ended one long-running 'beef' on stage on Saturday night (30JUL05) when he asked former foe KRS-ONE to join him at the Rock The Bells festival in California.

The odd couple performed a string of old-school classics after KRS-One praised his former rap rival, stating he truly was "God's Son" - referring to one of Nas' albums.

Nas' peace campaign didn't stop with KRS-One - he also insisted his DJ drop the JAY-Z reference in his tune ETHER and told the 9,000-strong crowd, "We love him."

But it wasn't all peace and love from the headliner - he made many references to new foe 50 CENT throughout his set.

--O.W.

LOVE R. KELLY? TAKE HIM HOME WITH YOU (BUT ONLY IN JAPAN)

According to Allhiphop.com:

"...word is, the Japanese people overseas love R.Kelly so much that they made a near-life size doll of the singer. Now, the doll isn’t anatomically correct for all you freaks out there, but it’s a full 6 feet tall. Pretty creepy stuff. Now, this isn’t a rumor, but I thought you would want to know that R.Kelly is looking to take his “Trapped In The Closet” franchise all the way to a big-screen movie and a play. That’s right. I think I am going to do a similar move, but call it “Trapped In The Music Industry.”

Seriously, you couldn't make this s___ up.

--O.W.

HIP-HOP IN ADS

royalty check coming his way
The placement of rap music in television advertising is nothing new but much of the time, it's been only the most hackneyed and superficial uses (think back to that McDonald's ad from a few years back where a DJ was spinning burgers instead of records. Ouch). Recently, a few campaigns - from department stores of all places - suggest that more hip-hop savvy ad teams are in place (had to happen sooner or later).

For example, a Target's "Champion" ad uses Eric B. and Rakim's 1993 Don't Sweat the Technique" to hawk a sporting wear line. Stranger still is J.C. Penney's recent spots on back-to-school wear which shows day-glo-decked kids breakdancing to Black Sheep's 1992 hit, "The Choice Is Yours (Revisited)". It's great to hear the song in action, it's just weird to see how this song went from being an underground anthem to shilling for...J.C. Penny. What, Macy's ain't good enough to roll with the Black Sheep?

Now comes word that Sir Mix-A-Lot's 1992 smash, "Baby Got Back," is being used to sell backpacks for Target. This is the "G-Rated" version - we should not be expecting to see 13 year olds shaking their ass as they did in Mix-A-Lot's original video. To explain this curious logic of using such a racy song to sell kids' stuff, this AP wire story relates, "ad executives tell the New York Post the ad is a great idea because it targets parents who remember the song and are likely to have kids in school these days."

And of course, those parents want to associate a song celebrating the female derriere with their barely pubescent children...hmmm, maybe they might want to rethink that.

--O.W.

ROCK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN

Who Stealing Who?

If you listen to hip hop or R&B, you've heard Arab pop music. In the last few years, producers from Dr. Dre to Wyclef to the Neptunes have increasingly borrowed or sampled from Arab songs.

I'm far from an expert in the genre, but I can recognize some of the common elements or instruments in Arab music: the tabla (bongo-like percussive instrument), the lutes, and the string parts that incorporate their scale structure, which includes more tones per octave than the "Western" 12-tone scale.

As is the case with hip hop's sampling of Bhangra/South Asian music, I doubt many Arab musicians are getting royalty checks. With so much focus on the Arab world -- and by focus, I mean bombs -- I predict the risk of cultural exotification and sampling will only rise.

Thus, I find it incredibly satisfying to hear and share these songs by Arab artists who are covering the two most famous "western" pop songs that reference Arab culture. Appropriation, touché.

The first song I've uploaded is Egyptian pop superstar Hakim's cover of The Bangles' "Walk Like an Egyptian." Hakim, known as the "Lion of Egypt," is credited with popularizing jeel (Egyptian street music) and revolutionizing the genre of sha'bi (indigenous Egyptian music). Here, with vocal help by "Cleopatra," Hakim stays loyal to the original lyrics, but adds his response in Arabic, which puts an entirely different spin on the 80s classic. Apparently, even in Egypt, the Japanese with their yen, the Chinese, and the cops in the donut shop say, "Way-oh-way-oh-way-ohhhh."

The second song is Algerian-born Rachid Taha's "Rock the Kasbah," which, of course, is a cover of the Clash classic, but with different spelling. Apparently, part of the Clash's inspiration for the original was listening to Carte de Sejour, which is Rachid Taha's former Arabic-style electric/punk/urban band. Sadly, Taha and Joe Strummer were planning a duet, two decades after Combat Rock came out, before Strummer's untimely death in 2002. So this cover -- with Brian Eno on synthesizers -- is as close as we'll get to that duet. The rollicking percussion in this cover brings the song to a whole new level, especially with an anti-war lyrical twist. The verses are translated into Arabic and French.

Finally, check out "Lela" which is a silly Narada Michael Walden-produced duet between Hakim and -- you'll never guess -- James Brown. "Lela" incorporates horn riffs from JB's "I Feel Good" and steals from other familiar JB rhythm patterns. The best part of the song is the end, where you get to hear the Godfather of Soul scream "As Salaam Alaikum!" not once, but twice.

(Downloads are only available for a very limited time. I strongly encourage you to explore more Arab artists and buy more of Hakim and Rachid Tala's records. I also appreciate any recommendations.)

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #17

20 years later, plutonium is still not available at every corner drugstore.

This Week's Question:

If you traveled in a time machine from 1985 to this day in 2005, what do you think you would be most amazed by?


I know some of you were either not born or just learning to walk twenty years ago, so you're going to have to answer the question based on your understanding of what things were like in 1985 when Back to the Future came out.

--Junichi