AIN'T A DAMN THING CHANGED?

never. forget.
I've been so caught up with my new gig at CSULB, I haven't had time to post up anything to commemorate today, aka one of the most monumental disasters in American social history but thankfully, other people came correct.

Check out 1115's "Victory Lap For Broken Promises".

--O.W.

WAIT, REWIND THAT BACK?

Our friend Jon Caramanica, looking mad grown and sexy on the ABC World News webcast (for a moment, we thought it was actually on TV and our head was blown but the very fact that Charlie Gibson intros this story on mash-ups is pretty crazy alone.

--O.W.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #71

Cubism

This Week's Question:

When did you first realize that you suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?

--Junichi

IDLEMILD

If nothing else, Outkast's new Idlewild film (and really, their whole career arc) suggests that our conceptions of what a "hip-hop movie" should sound/look like needs to be exploded and reconceived. It's safe to say that no other mainstream rap group - and by mainstream, I'm merely noting that the group has sold over 20,000,000 albums in the last 12 years - has been so consistently creative in pushing against whatever expectations have been placed on them. People, myself included, like to describe them as "post-hip-hop" which doesn't mean they've some how moved past the aesthetic...rather, they've transcended the narrow conventional limitations of how we've come to understand it. The pity though is that few other artists have really tried to follow in their footsteps - it's a lot easier (and safer) to clone G-Unit's formula for success than try to step into Andre 3000 or Big Boi's shoes.

Maybe that's why a movie like Idlewild couldn't have involved anyone besides Outkast [1]: how many rap artists could pull off a 1930s period piece cum musical and not leave people scratching their heads at the very concept? Whether they succeed in that vision is a different story (which we'll get to in a moment) but you can never accuse the group of not being bold in their ambitions.

That said, Idlewild may have flash and panache for days but at heart, it's still more or less a trumped up B-movie. Don't get me wrong: I found it stylistically arresting and entertaining and I'm sure it's a lot more fun to sit through vs. <I>Get Rich or Die Tryin'</i> but given how adventurous Outkast is in their music, you'd think the film would have taken more chances on things like, oh, plot and character development. The only two defenses you can really muster are rather limp: 1) they're rappers not actors and 2) it's a musical. I don't find either very compelling, not when the movie itself descends in eye-rollingly obvious cliches and a narrative so predictable, you could set a watch to it. [2]

If Idlewild is a triumph of style over substance...the style is pretty damn good. For one thing, the sound design in the film is amazing; I can't remember the last time I spent so much time admiring how a film sounded and I'm not just talking about the musical numbers. That's not to take anything away from the visual flair of the film either... it's shot and choreographed beautifully, especially on an opening number (Big Boi's first performance) where lindy-hopping dancers are shown slo-mo-ing through the air with what can only be described as an explosive grace. Most of the musical numbers succeed well in the film, which you'd expect (or at least hope to) but even the stranger moments - the incorporation of "Chronometrophobia" (which appears on both album and movie), complete with a phalanx of cuckoo clocks plus a strange and unsettling performance of "She Lives In My Lap" (sans Rosario Dawson) - are alluring and captivating.

The problem is that most everything else around it isn't. Big Boi definitely gets the meatier role between him and Andre and he exudes charisma by the buckets as Rooster. Andre's shy, aloof PJ is rather faux-deep: yeah, yeah, we get it - he's an (drum roll please) outcast in his family and local community, no one understands him except for The New Girl (who looks enough like Alicia Keys that I had to do a double-take at times), and he's gotta get to the bright lights in the big city. All you need is someone to get thrown into Lake Minnetonka and replace Terrance Howard (who's wasted here) with Morris Day and you got Purple Rain - The Prohibition Years.

I was talking about the film with Hua and we both agreed: the film opens with this surreal, artsy flair and we wished that it had stayed on that track rather than feel like it had to provide some conventional narrative to hang its hat on. What Outkast do best is to be different and weird and enthralling. Idlewild is fun to watch and listen to but beneath that surface shine, it's possibly the most staid project the group has ever committed itself to and that's a direction 'Kast doesn't need to be moving in.

By the way, Ernest Hardy's review of the film is dead-on (and a lot more articulate).

---

[1] Or Mos Def.
[2] The film is also surprisingly, graphically violent and this was something neither expected nor desired.

--O.W.

MOTHER OF ALL BAD DECISIONS

Pumps and a Bump Off the Plane

Sure, a Hitler-themed restaurant is a bad idea. Its successor -- Planet Hollywood -- also turned out to be a bad idea.

But here is a play-by-play breakdown of how 29 year-old Madin Azad Amin singlehandedly won my award for Worst Decision in the History of Mankind:

Mistake #1: Bought a penis pump

Mistake #2: Decided to take a trip to Turkey with his mother

Mistake #3: Brought the pump along for his journey to Turkey with his mother

Mistake #4: Boarded plane with the pump as a carry-on, instead of checking it in

Mistake #5: Told airport security that the penis pump was a bomb ... so his mom wouldn't find out that he had a penis pump

Unfortunately, Madin can't accept my award because he's awaiting his trial for felony disorderly conduct. Sadly, prosecutors could shaft the poor guy with the short end of the stick and seek a maximum penalty of three years in prison.

Link: AP Wire: Which is scarier, mom or airport security?

--Junichi

BAD, BAD, BAD IDEAS

uh...
'Hitler' Restaurant to Change Name

Thursday, August 24, 2006

The owner of a restaurant named after Adolf Hitler said Thursday he will change its name because it angered so many people.

Puneet Sablok said he would remove Hitler's name and the Nazi swastika from billboards and the menu. He had said the restaurant's name — "Hitler's Cross" — and symbols were only meant to attract attention.

Sablok made the decision after meeting with members of Bombay's small Jewish community.

"Once they told me how upset they were with the name, I decided to change it," he said. "I don't want to do business by hurting people."

Sablok said he had not yet decided on a new name.

Hitler's Cross opened five days ago and serves pizza, salad and pastries in Navi Mumbai, a suburb of Bombay, also known as Mumbai.

On Thursday, Bombay's Jewish community welcomed Sablok's decision to rename his restaurant.

"He realized he made a mistake and listened to reason," said Elijah Jacob, a community leader. "Some people have wrong conceptions of history and he realized it was not appropriate."

Bombay's Jews had called the theme of the restaurant offensive and demanded a name change. There are about 5,500 Jews in India, with about 4,500 of them living in Bombay.

"I never wanted to hurt people's feelings," said Sablok.

Some Indians regard Hitler as just another historical figure and have little knowledge about the Holocaust, in which 6 million European Jews were systematically killed during World War II.

The swastika symbol, which was appropriated by the Nazis, was originally an ancient Hindu symbol and it is displayed all over India to bring luck.

--O.W.

THE WEEK IN NEWS: TURN BACK THE CLOCK EDITION

Separate and Unequal

Here's all the racially divisive news that's fit to print for the week:

• Survivor -- Separate but Equal Edition: This season's Survivor is dividing contestants into racially-segregated teams: Asians, Whites, Blacks, and "Hispanics." At first glance, this doesn't seem like an inherently bad idea. It's pretty much how we allocate prison housing and assign children to public schools in this country. On the plus side, it'll be the first time there's been more than one token Asian male on a major reality show. I admit I'm curious enough to tune in just to see whether CBS uses this as an opportunity to further set back the representations of people of color in reality shows. As my friend Hank Fong asks, what if the Asian contestants only win the math-related immunity challenges? Here's my early prediction: no person of color is going to vote for a white person to win the $1 million prize ... especially after Mark Burnett grants the minority contestants only three-fifths of a vote.

• State Senator - Separate but Equal Edition: Speaking of segregation, Utah State Senator Chris Buttars recently opined that the landmark Supreme Court case of Brown vs. Board of Education was decided wrongly. Yet, he claims, "I don't think there's a racial [sic] bone in my body. ... I don't see black and white. I see people. I always have." The very fact that he equates the word "racial" with the word "racist" is a big tipoff to his high rank in the Klan. I suspect his color-blindness is the very reason he never noticed that none of his slaves were white. If this makes bigger national news, I look forward to him defending himself with the classic "Some of my best friends are Negro" defense.

• Mexicans on a Plane: A new xenophobic television commercial from the National Republican Senators Committee gets my vote for the Willie Horton ad of 2006:

• Macaca Fracas: Nearly every Asian and Chicano/Latino person in the US has heard something along the lines of "Welcome to America" or "You speak English well," even when he or she is an American-born US citizen. But American S.R. Sidarth is special because he was welcomed to the country by Virgina Senator George Allen and then further greeted by him with a derogotary epithet -- on camera -- which was held by Sidarth himself. Suddenly, YouTube has become an election-altering political force and the Daily Show finds a brilliant way to send Rob Corddry off:

(Credit: Dima)

---

(Oliver chimes in) How did I know Junichi would beat me to the punch on the whole Survivor angle for the new season? Here's my question: does this mean that the producers didn't consider:

Dominicans? (Are they Black or Hispanic? Yes!)

Mixed race folks (switch hitters!)

Middle Easterners (far as I can tell from the 2000 census, they're still classified as "white")

All I can say, as someone currently putting together a course on how pop culture frames issues of race, class and gender, god bless you Mark Burnett.

--Junichi

RUSH TO THE HEAD

Watched the first half of Spike Lee/HBO's When the Levees Broke: A Requiem In Four Acts. I think, for many, especially myself, it brings back a rush of anger and rage to see the complete disaster of Katrina and NOLA all over the again and by that, I don't mean the flooding, I mean the complete breakdown of American social and governmental infrastructure. Because we live in a world so inundated with other bad news (take your pick: Lebanon, Iraq, Iran, a Fergie solo album, etc.), something like Katrina was destined to fade away eventually but this doc brings back much emotion to the surface, in a blink. It's amazing to me that, politically, anyone's survived this but I know it's foolish to think there's anything such as karma in American gov't.

I am glad that Lee took a decidedly un-Michael Moore approach. Oh, don't get me wrong: there's editorializing here but it's done subtly, in the editing process and Lee manages to present a perspective that isn't forgiving on the leaders at the city, state and federal level but it also is more balanced than you might expect.

All respect due to my man Junichi and the Dixie Chicks but if I were to pick an "embedded blogger" gig, there's no question, this would be the tour. I don't want to overstate Jay-Z's cultural importance or iconic status but the fact that he's playing seven dates in Africa reminds me of Ali going to Zaire. Different times, very different people but could you imagine 50 Cent trying to pull off this kind of tour (though, just to be fair to Mr. Jackson, he has played South Africa and Lagos)? I mean, Jay-Z begins in KRAKOW. The most boring legs of this tour are all his "Western" stops (though strangely, no Tokyo/Japan?). And plus, he's doing this under the auspices of the U.N. Could you imagine Eminem getting that kind of blessing?

I don't mean to sound naive here: this is a great PR move for Jay-Z as well but even if this is branding, it's hard not to get just a little excited at the idea of what a Jay-Z show in Tanzania is going to be like let alone Wembley. I'm genuinely looking forward to the Water Is Life documentary that is due to air in November following the conclusion of the tour.

The cover for Lupe Fiasco's album is indeed...a fiasco. This is such an unbelievably bad idea that it makes you wonder how good the music could be based on the packaging. It looks like a bad ad for a Trapper Keeper circa 1984. It makes the cover of the UMCs' Fruits Of Nature look like Straight Outta Compton. And the thing is: I'm definitely interested in hearing what the album sounds like and given that the cover temporarily blinds you, hearing is all you can do with it.
(Source: HHH)

--O.W.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #70

Counting Sheep

This Week's Question:

What's your cure for insomnia?

--Junichi

FUN WITH WORDS

Not Banned

Random Word-Related News:

• Banned Words in the NFL: Here is an updated list of 1,159 Words or Phrases that the NFL refuses to place on personalized jerseys ordered from its NFL Shop. This is very upsetting since I was going to buy some customized NLF gifts there for my friends who go by the nicknames ASS MUNCHER, GLAZEDDONUT, HERSHEYHIGHWAY, WETSPOT (sorry, O-Dub), and KUMQUAT. Hey NFL, what's wrong with the last one? It's just a type of fruit!



• Utah Google Trends: According to this SL Tribune article, Utah leads the nation in searches on the terms "Jesus" and "second coming." Not a surprise, given its religious reputation. But Utah also leads the nation in searches on the terms "Twinkies," "smores," "cookies," "chocolate," "fry sauce," and perhaps not coincidentally, "bulimia" and "anorexia." Interesting. The truly mind-blowing fact is that Salt Lake City ranks as the #1 city in searches for "panties," "boogers," and "sheep," the #2 city for "gerbils", and #3 for "masturbation." Road trip!



• 'Cougar' Alert: Since moving to Orange County, I've picked up the word "cougar," which is the term used here for an older woman on the prowl for a much younger man. Apparently, the OC is the place to be for young Ashtons looking for their Demi Moores. There's even a website -- urbancougar.com -- for guys trying to spot the nearest "cougar dens." Apparently, Newport Beach's cougars are "second to none." Road trip! (Credit: Jingalls)



• Vocabulary Words on your iPod: While in NYC, I met a Dixie Chicks fan named David Mendelsohn who is one of the co-authors of Rock the SAT, an ingenious book/CD combo that teaches you 264 vocabulary words by incorporating them into the lyrics of 13 rock tunes that, to my surprise, aren't painful. Listen to a hilarious but educational sample here and absorb the meaning of "taciturn" and "laconic." I look forward to Rap the SAT so they can really become pugnacious and bust a Kaplan in they competitor's ass.

--Junichi

WHAT'S LEFT BEHIND

"celebrating mom's birthday". Jan. 19, 1958
I posted back in June about how my old high school Latin teacher passed away. He was, by far, the most formative adult presence I knew as a high school student...you know how people always reminisce about "that one teacher that changed your life"? Well, that was him for me and a lot of other students.

I actually set up a memorial blog (so 00s!) for him.

Mr. Shickle was an incredible pack rat and collector of minutiae. He had more Franklin Mint stuff and commerative plates and small figurines than you can shake a stick at. He owned 500 boxes worth of books (no joke) because he was a member of dozens of book-of-the-month clubs, not to mention stacks and stacks of magazines. It's hard to catalog all the random stuff he had but I was at his old house the other day and there's things like old Polaroid land cameras, super-8 cameras, a few dozen old board games, it's difficult to even know where to begin.

I was going through his old belongings the other day as part of the process of helping clean out the house before it goes up for auction and I was drawn to all the photos, postcards, letters and stamps he collected. LIke I said, he was a pack rat and he was almost 80 when he passed so he had decades of stuff accumulated. And what I was thinking, in thumbing through all this was: with no family to pass this onto (he had no next-of-kin), what happens to all these accumulated memories? All these scraps of random flotsam that we keep, thinking that it may matter one day? And what does it mean that what we really leave behind are just drawers full of old clipped out stamps and slides and photos and postcards and letters that have no inherent sentimental value left insofar as everyone surrounding them, included in them are likely dead?

So...I don't know. Maybe I just wanted to do something small to rail against the inevitable oblivion. Maybe I just felt like some of this should survive for reasons I can't even articulate. I took a small envelope of old stamps and a small box of slides and I decided to scan some of it in to put on Mr. Shickle's memorial blog. Snapshots (literally) from the past.

--O.W.

WHO DECLARES VICTORY?

Red Cross ambulance helping Lebanese civilians attacked by Israel

As the tenuous ceasefire takes hold, both the Israeli government and Hezbollah are declaring victory. As far as I'm concerned, nobody can declare itself a victor when so many dead bodies are stacked up on both sides of the Lebanese-Israeli border.

But if Israel's goal is to wipe out Hezbollah's power and Hezbollah's goal is to gain support, I submit that Israel is clearly the loser.

This is mostly my opinion -- and only anecdotally verified -- but I suspect that much of the world (outside the U.S.) is now more sympathetic towards Hezbollah, especially after watching the Israeli military's indiscriminate and disproportionate pounding of civilian populations, leading to over 25 times more Lebanese civilians dying than in Israel.

The Israeli massacre of dozens of children in Qana was clearly a major turning point in the court of world opinion. Since the initial reports of Hezbollah's kidnapping of the two Israeli soldiers, the international media has educated more people about the history of this conflict, which requires discussion, for starters, of the hundreds of Lebanese political prisoners illegally held in Israeli jails for several years or the dozens of Palestinian cabinet members arrested by Israel for retaliatory reasons.

I realize that a belief that Israel has acted in the wrong doesn't translate to support for Hezbollah. Myself = case in point. But at some point, each additional atrocity will lead to more people seeing Hezbollah not as a terrorist organization, but as a freedom-fighting resistance movement.

The growing number of critics of Israel's attacks have even made a YouTube star out of British politician George Galloway who infamously ripped a Sky News anchor a new one for her unbalanced coverage. (For the record, I don't support all of Galloway's views, but I do find the video below totally entertaining.)



This all begs the question: Did Israel realize how much the court of world opinion would turn against them? And if so, why would Israel keep pounding Lebanon when such actions would only strengthen Hezbollah and increase anti-Israeli sentiment in neighboring countries?

Sadly, the answer may lie in Sy Hersh's latest article, which reports that the Bush administration -- most notably, Dick Cheney's office -- was involved in planning Israel's attack on Hezbollah and considers it "a prelude to a potential American preemptive attack" on Iran.

God help us.

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #69

So perfect the first time, I'm afraid to watch it again

This Week's Question:

Name something that you enjoyed so much the first time that you refuse to watch / listen / read / taste / experience it again, out of fear that it won't be as good the second time around.

--Junichi

LIKE A MOBIUS STRIP OF IRONY

(Source: Broken Language)

--O.W.

BOOKWORMED

This may be surprising but I don't read books very often these days. It's not that I don't like books - I luh books. In fact, bookstores are by far, my favorite kind of store,much more than record stores.  But books require an investment in time (at least in my own mind) that I rarely feel like I have time for. That said, when I got memed on the book tip, I was game to blow the dust off my shelves and tap into my inner, dormant bibliophile.

1. One book that changed my life: Another Country by James Baldwin.

It's no secret that Baldwin's non-fiction work, especially his essays, were a large reason why I ever wanted to write to begin with: his ability to articulate ideas about justice, humanity, anger and love moved me to want to study the craft that he mastered so well. But reading this novel - the first work of long fiction by Baldwin I had ever sat down with - was a revelation of how incredibly deep both his genius and compassion ran.

Just to note, if you really want to talk about a work of art that changed my life, it's not a book. It's an album. But we'll leave that for another meme.

2. One book you have read more than once: Executive Orders by Tom Clancy.

This may surprise some folks given that Clancy's not-so-subtle right-wing, hyper-jingoism isn't exactly aligned with my personal politics but I have to say, as a work of pulp fiction, set within an amazingly complex (but well-integrated) yarn about politics, terrorism and warfare, this book really holds up, especially in a post-9/11 world where reality now - tragically - exceeds fiction in many ways. At the very least, it's a very good beach book.

3. One book you would want on a desert island: Ugh, I've always hated "desert island" questions since it presumes that I'd be able to arrive at some concept of "the best book ever" when, in my reality, that might change from day to day. If I were on a desert island, for serious? I'd bring...a blank journal since I imagine, in that situation, I'd rather jot down my own thoughts than read someone else's.

4. One book that made you laugh: 'Toons For Our Times by Berke Breathed.

I stumbled on this at a library in Pasadena when I was in junior high and let's just say: it's wasn't like Peanuts. I had never read Doonesbury and even if Breathed was obviously drawing upon Trudeau's ouvre, I still appreciate the keener, absurdist (yet topical) humor that Bloom County brought. Opus = one of the best characters ever but Bill the Cat had my young self uncontrollably LOLing (before, of course, I knew what LOL meant).

5. One book that made you cry: Still waiting.

6. One book that you wish you had written: ego trip's Book of Rap Lists.

For one thing, it's so unabashedly nerded out that I can automatically identify with it. But it's also an amazing love letter to what hip-hop brings out of even the most cynical of its paramours.

Honorable Mention: Can't Stop, Won't Stop by Jeff Chang.

It's such a definitive and remarkable text looking at the rich depths of specific hip-hop histories that it pretty much kills my interest in ever writing a similar kind of hip-hop history book. Besides, me and Jeff get confused for each other so often, I feel like I could almost take credit for having written it.

7. One book you wish you had never written: I might have to bite this one from Daddy In a Strangeland and agree: Michelle Malkin's In Defense of Internment. When Ronald Reagan - not exactly either 1) a progressive nor 2) someone to cower to public pressure - apologizes for the wartime internment of Japanese Americans, you just accept that, "hey, America f***ed up" and finding something else to rant about. I'm sure her sequel, Slavery Misunderstood is sure to be even better.

8. One book you are currently reading: Pipe Dream Blues by Clarence Lusane.

I'm teaching a class on social problems this semester and I want to spend a few weeks on drug policy. Lusane's book - written in 1991, half a decade before Gary Webb's infamous "Dark Alliance" articles for the SJ Mercury - is a compelling argument around the relationship between American drug policy and anti-Black racism. He, like Webb would do later, argues that the CIA was a major facilitator of how drugs moved into the U.S. but even if you contest that point, his discussion and analysis of the history of narcotics in the inner city - and its adverse, disastrous effects on communities therein - are hard to argue against especially 15 years later when we see what the post-crack legacy has been. His discussion of the heroin trade is especially fascinating given the kind of structural organization existed to facilitate the importation and distribution of heroin.

Honorable Mention: The Whole Equation by David Thompson.

I picked this up after a friend raved about it and it's a very engaging and insightful history of Hollywood that mixes excursions into biography, geography, city planning and cultural analysis. It's even more apropos considering that I now live within 10 minutes of Hollywood, land o' where people where velour sweat suits and Uggs. (Not a good look personified).

9. One book I've been meaning to read: Angry Black White Boy by Adam Mansbach.

The fact that I haven't read this yet is ironic on a few levels, not the least of which is that I made a mix-CD to go with the book. Adam's a good friend and he had asked me to create a mix of pro-Black hip-hop anthems to go with his book about a militant white boy trying to destroy White Supremacy (with unintended consequences). The thing is: I don't read fiction very much and his book has been one of those, "I'll definitely get to it soon" tomes that continue to patiently await my attention. What's funny is that since I was on tour with Adam, I've heard him breakdown his book's main points so many times I kind of feel like I actually have read it.

Honorable Mention: Uh, I have a stack about floor to ceiling of books I've bought over the last x-number of years that I've been meaning to read. (Don't ask about my CD stack, it's even worse). 

10. Who I tagged: Junichi, Jeff, Hua and Jon.

--O.W.

POTPOURRI PLEASURE

The Kiss Heard Round The World

Six reasons I'm in a good mood at this moment:

1. Ned Lamont's victory (or, really, Joe Lieberman's defeat) in Connecticut. Huge.

2. Crazy Itch Radio, the new Basement Jaxx CD. Fresh.

3. "Pick Up Lines: The First Draft" by Mark Vanderhoff in McSweeney's. This is the kind of comic genius that I read and wish I had written first. Example: "Are your legs tired? Oh, well, I'm not surprised; your thighs are almost comically muscular."

4. The trailer for the upcoming film, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

5. Stephen Colbert on NAACP & respect.

6. I just learned that when you type in 'famous soul train dancer' into Google, my personal website is the first to pop up. Holla! Also, a friend tipped me off to the fact that I have risen above Junichi Inamoto (famous soccer player), Junichi Masuda (videogame music composer), and Junichi Yoda (famous guy with the last name Yoda) as the leading search result in Google for those looking for a 'Junichi'. I shouldn't care, but hey, I have arrived!

--Junichi

HOW ONE MAN INTENDS TO BRING PEACE TO THE MIDDLE EAST

The next soldier to be recruited to Iraq?

With the United States embroiled in clashes with Iraq, Lebanon, and Palestine, I've noticed more and more nutcases in this country summarizing these conflicts as a collective "War against Islam."

This abominably inaccurate understanding of Islam and the history of the conflicts has prompted at least one douchebag running for office to call for a religious solution to bringing about peace.

Former El Paso County Commissioner Duncan Bremer is in a hotly contested race to fill a vacated Congressional seat and represent parts of Colorado. His primary election takes place tomorrow.

According to the Denver Post, Bremer believes "the war against fanatical fundamentalist Islam should be fought on two fronts: militarily and religiously." He is quoted as saying, "There's an aspect of it that people are not willing to talk about, and I am - its religious basis. ... Our best hope is that we actually convert them away from their religious fanatical basis."

Commissioner Bremer seems to be stepping away from this statement on his blog, which nonetheless makes clear that if elected to Congress, he would use religious conversion to help solve the current crisis.

Nice. After all, why use Condoleezza Rice when you can send Jesus?

P.S. I also enjoy how Bremer touts on his official webpage that he "kept the homosexual agenda from even getting on the County government agenda." He's so manly! That's hot!

--Junichi

QUESTION OF THE WEEK #68

Bobby and Whitney have a threesome with Barney

This Week's Question:

People scoffed when Whitney referred to her husband, Bobby Brown, as the 'King of R&B.'

Who does deserve the title 'King of R&B'?

--Junichi

20 QUESTIONS

A W suppporter holds his breath

Yet again, I'd like to tap into your collective vast knowledge and ask 20 questions to which I am curious to know the answer. I apologize in advance for my naivete, ignorance, ineptitude, or selfishness in asking them.

Note: The questions in green have been answered and the questions in orange have been partially answered in the comments.

1. When you type "failure" into Google, why does Google's search engine list the official biography of George W. Bush first? Is there any explanation other than some employee at Google having a sense of humor?
   


2. A pregnant friend of a friend was recently told that her baby was a girl because the doctor could see her daughter's labia in the Ultrasound. Could this be true, or is the doctor avoiding phallocentric terminology and simply saying that she can't see a penis?
   


3. Apparently, you can't kill yourself by holding your breath. Why not?
   


4. If Rastafarians believe that heaven (or Zion) is in Ethiopia, why don't they all move there?
   


5. How or why did Shawn Carter come up with the name Jay-Z?
   


6. If you were to tan nude for a week, would the pale parts of your body eventually catch up to the darker parts? In other words, do the lighter parts of your skin tan faster?
   


7. Speaking of tanning, do you get darker when it's 90 degrees and sunny -- as opposed to 70 degrees and sunny? Assume that you're at the exact same location on earth, with only a difference in temperature.
   


8. Why do some men shiver when they urinate?
   


9. What is the meaning of the phrase "dumps like a truck" (from Sisqo's "Thong Song")?
   


10. Why do so many cultures use salt to ward off evil spirits?
    


11. Was Diana Ross consciously trying to create a gay pride anthem when she released "I'm Coming Out"?
    


12. In Blackjack (using standard Vegas rules), when, if ever, does it make sense to "surrender"?
    


13. What is Vin Diesel's racial or ethnic background?
    


14. Why are six out of seven gynecologists men?
    


15. In the song "New Jack Swing," Wrecks-N-Effect gives shouts out to a series of artists. When they say "Boy George," are they talking about the lead singer of Culture Club?
    


16. I've heard that parents should hold off vaccines for their newborn baby for two years -- or at least spread them out -- to avoid autism. Is there scientific evidence that shows that the number of autistic children is rising because of vaccinations?
    


17. Why doesn't Netflix include adult films in its library, given that they stand to gain millions of dollars in business? Is it because X-rated films might taint their image? Fear of boycotts? Or is it because it might be illegal to distribute "obscene" material to certain states?
    


18. If the overwhelming majority of people in Puerto Rico want to join the union, what's the argument against making Puerto Rico the 51st state - other than Republicans not wanting a potentially Democratic-leaning state?
    


19. If a musician covers a Billy Joel song in concert, does Billy Joel get any money? (Assume the musician doesn't record the song, cut a live album, or sell the concert footage as a DVD, etc.) Perhaps the more appropriate question: Is Billy Joel supposed to get any money?
    


20. Finally, here's the question that I still have yet to obtain a definitive answer: is the ability to whistle a genetic trait? If not, is it possible that certain people have a harder time whistling because of genetic traits (e.g., they cannot roll their tongue)?

--Junichi

KATSUMI BODYSUITS

Raise The Roof

Last week, somebody suggested I post entries based on the bizarre search terms that led people to this website. While I don't plan to follow through on this, here is one about how "Japanese People Are Kinky."

Sure, these pics look like your standard blow-up doll (not that I would know what a standard blow-up doll looks like).

But in fact, this is an actual human being dressed up in a full-body latex bodysuit intended to look like a blow-up doll.

Thanks to a customer in Katsumi, Japan who requested this product, you can now order these bodysuits based on fiberglass moulds from this website. Only $950 plus shipping!

Credit goes to Dean B. for helping me to finish my Christmas shopping early this year.

--Junichi

REVIEW: LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

Nobody gets left behind

Here are some early predictions for the March 2007 Academy Awards:

Best Picture = Little Miss Sunshine
Original Screenplay = Michael Arndt
Supporting Actor = Alan Arkin

These aren't particularly bold choices on my part considering the perfection that is the dysfunctional family road trip comedy, Little Miss Sunshine. Sure, most Oscar-worthy films haven't been released yet, but I can't imagine any other movie so universally enjoyable, deftly scripted, and honest as this one.

Sitting in a packed Manhattan theatre, I missed lines because the laughs came so fast and furious. But even had I watched it lone-bone, I couldn't have kept up with the zingers wrestling with one another in this inspiring script. Any moments where I got a whiff of predictability were quickly erased by left field gags like the one involving Buns & Ammo magazine.

Only after the lights went up could I absorb how brilliantly this movie managed to walk the line between cynicism and syrupy optimism, between reality and parody. This isn't the typical cheesy feel-good film (as some might suggest), nor is it the dark ironic satire lambasting the modern American family in all its dysfunctional glory (as others might suggest).

Little Miss Sunshine stands perfectly at the midpoint of the spectrum between my two other favorite dysfunctional family movies: Happiness (way on the dark and cynical end) and Parenthood (way on the sugary and sweet end).

I suppose this range isn't surprising given that the film's directors, Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, also supervised episodes of the subversive Mr. Show, as well as the sweet video for Smashing Pumpkin's "1979," Korn's dark "Freak on a Leash" video, Jane's Addiction's bizarre "Been Caught Stealing" video, and the cheesy black & white classic -- Extreme's "More Than Words."

The ensemble cast is stellar: Steve Carell plays it straight as a gay suicidal Proust scholar, Greg Kinnear arouses sympathy as a sad sack of a motivational speaker, and Toni Collette is the mother trying to keep everyone happy. Alan Arkin, however, gets the best lines as the perverted, coked-up grandfather of the clan who helps his young granddaughter, played by Abigail Breslin (talented as Dakota Fanning, except neither creepy nor annoying), prepare for a little girls' beauty pageant. Together, this cast manages to showcase the modern reality behind the middle class pursuit of the American Dream ... in under two hours.

At the end of the film, the entire audience was clapping, which I haven't experienced in a movie theatre since I saw The Full Monty on opening night.

--Junichi