HALLOWEEN COSTUMES TO BEAT

I'm 16! I swear!

MetroDad posted the above picture of his daughter's Halloween costume: "Underage Chinese Olympic Gymnast."

I'm pretty sure that's the costume to beat this year.

I would replicate her costume if it weren't for the fact everybody would wrongly guess that I was William Hung in drag as a Special Olympics gymnast.

Last year, my wife and I dressed up as Hiro (during his Kensei phase) and Claire from Heroes:

(More documentation here.)

This year, my wife and I considered some of the obvious couples' costume ideas below ...

The Sexy Option

Sexy Osama and Sexy Unexorcised Linda Blair
(Credit)

The Cute Option


Mario & Luigi

The Disturbingly Racist and Inappropriate Option


Strawberry ShortHitler & Ronald McHitler

Instead, we may opt for the retro/obscure/surreal/self-referential option and dress up as the Junichi version of Joanie Loves Chachi -- Joanichi Loves Chanichi. It's a simple costume, really.

I just need to put on my Chachi outfit:


And my wife just needs something to make her look like an Asian guy:

Done.

Or we might think of something better.

Happy Halloween!

--Junichi

ONE REASON I'M HAPPY WE'RE EXPECTING A BOY

Best Little Horrorhouse in Texas

So my wife and I just learned that we are having a baby boy. We are thrilled, not that we were rooting for a particular gender.

When we returned from the doctor's office, I pulled a Party City catalog for Halloween costumes from our mailbox. A few seconds after skimming through it, I became quite glad that we're not having a girl.

I know I've said this before -- and it's hardly a novel thought -- but why do all female costumes have to be "sexy"? It's as if Halloween has become a giant Pimps & Hos party, except that men don't have to dress like pimps.

One can hardly distinguish the catalog above from a website to order stripper-grams. And by one, I mean somebody who has visited a stripper-gram website, which does not include me.

Also, check out the costumes on the upper right corner in the image above. What, exactly, is a Dragon Geisha? Or a Cherry Blossom Geisha? Who consulted on those cultural designs? Why not a Teriyaki Geisha? The Cherry Blossom Geisha looks like a server at El Torito who also participates in the restaurant's mariachi birthday dance.

And since when does a Straight A Student wear skirts that only go down to her hip bones? Okay, other than on the late night film selection on the Skinemax channel?

Finally, check out the costumes below. They even sexed up "Miss Dorothy" from the Wizard of Oz so that she looks ready to ease on down the Yellow Trick Road.

Do I sound like a grandpa yet?

--Junichi