EAU S**T: PERFUME SETS OFF HYSTERIA

Between She and Me Lies Sashimi

As all my fans know, I just launched Sashimi, my new fragrance line featuring raw fish, wasabi, and the eye cheese lodged in between my epicanthic folds.

Buyers from as far away as Fort Worth were copping bottles.

Unfortunately, it looks like I'm going to have issue a recall.

From the BBC:

Thirty-four people went to hospital and dozens were treated for sickness after strong perfume was sprayed by a woman in a Texas bank. Two workers initially complained of having chest pains and headaches.

The bank then announced that anyone who felt ill should leave the building, prompting around 150 people to take up the offer.

Twelve people were taken to hospital by ambulance, after they complained of feeling short of breath and dizzy. ...

Emergency services initially feared that there may have been a leak of carbon monoxide but having checked the building, decided that a strong perfume was to blame.

Investigators do not know what kind of perfume was sprayed.

Something smells fishy about those numbers, however. Over 150 suffering employees?

When that Bank of America branch announced that those feeling ill can leave, plenty of healthy people probably bounced and went home to memorize common responses to Rorschach inkblots.

--Junichi