BEST AND WORST OF 2007
Worst Ad of 2007
In addition to the Best Quotes of 2007, here below are some of the ways that I will remember 2007:
Most Blatant Miscarriage of Justice:
Blogger Josh Wolf served 226 days in a California prison for refusing to turn over his videotape of a protest at the G8 Summit ...
... while Scooter Libby served not a day in jail for lying and obstructing a CIA leak investigation involving major breaches of national security.
*
Most Ridiculous Song Lyric:
And I'm going to miss you, like a child misses that blanket!
-from Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry"
*
Best Reason Not To Move to Alabama:
Penalty for selling a gun to a minor: maximum fine of $500
Penalty for selling a vibrator: $10,000 fine + up to one year in jail for first-time offender
*
Best Season Finale:
Vivica A. Fox shutting the door on Susie Essman.
*
Best Writing about Harry Potter Not Penned by J. K. Rowling:
Unauthorized Chinese translations of Harry Potter books
*
Most Wonderful Thing About Owning an iPhone:
Having only one device to listen to music, read the interwebs, and ignore your voicemails.
*
Least Wonderful Things About Owning an iPhone:
Not being able to cut and paste text. Or play games. Or record tasks. Or sync with Outlook notes. And having to switch to AT&T.
*
Lamest Boy Scout Merit Badge:
Respecting Copyrights
*
Biggest Sign That Mike Huckabee Could Be Worse Than George W. Bush:
In response to the assassination of Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan, Gov. Huckabee argued for building a fence between the U.S. and Mexico to keep illegal Pakistanis from coming into the country.
*
No, Actually, This is the Biggest Sign That Mike Huckabee Could Be Worse Than George W. Bush:
He still stands by his statement in 1992 that those with AIDS should be quarantined and isolated from the general public.
*
Best Story That One Man Lived to Tell:
Ben Carpenter's electric wheelchair got accidentally jammed into the grill of a semi and ended up going down a highway for several miles at 50 mph before police finally alerted the truck driver about his extra passenger.
*
Most Random Subject To Write About (and Get Paid for):
How one of the Dixie Chicks popped one of my zits.
(Runner-up: Urinating next to Smokey Robinson)
*
Best Sign That The Conflict in the Middle East Goes Far Beyond Muslims and Jews:
A few days after Christmas, Greek Orthodox and Armenian priests came to blows in the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem (where Jesus was allegedly born) and started a major broom fight while cleaning the church. Palestinian police were called in to separate the warring factions.
*
Weakest Hip Hop Battle:
Kanye West vs. 50 Cent
*
Best Hip Hop Battle:
Rapper Travell Price shot by a feuding MC outside a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant
*
Best Comment on Poplicks:
"maybe after his wife leaves him he can broaden his horizons and branch out a bit!"
- sean (in response to the post about the man with tree-like growths on his skin)
*
Worst Way To Avoid Being Attacked While Walking The Streets:
A cloth vending machine disguise
*
Most Revealing Song for OJ Simpson to be Caught Whistling After Allegedly Committing Armed Robbery:
"If I Only Had A Brain"
*
Best Nickname for David Petraeus:
'The Surgin' General'
(beating out 'General Betray Us')
*
Best Reason Not To Play Slots:
Urine-soaked seats
*
Best Attempt to Make Flautists Look Cool:
Greg Patillo
Blogger Josh Wolf served 226 days in a California prison for refusing to turn over his videotape of a protest at the G8 Summit ...
... while Scooter Libby served not a day in jail for lying and obstructing a CIA leak investigation involving major breaches of national security.
*
Most Ridiculous Song Lyric:
And I'm going to miss you, like a child misses that blanket!
-from Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry"
*
Best Reason Not To Move to Alabama:
Penalty for selling a gun to a minor: maximum fine of $500
Penalty for selling a vibrator: $10,000 fine + up to one year in jail for first-time offender
*
Best Season Finale:
Vivica A. Fox shutting the door on Susie Essman.
*
Best Writing about Harry Potter Not Penned by J. K. Rowling:
Unauthorized Chinese translations of Harry Potter books
*
Most Wonderful Thing About Owning an iPhone:
Having only one device to listen to music, read the interwebs, and ignore your voicemails.
*
Least Wonderful Things About Owning an iPhone:
Not being able to cut and paste text. Or play games. Or record tasks. Or sync with Outlook notes. And having to switch to AT&T.
*
Lamest Boy Scout Merit Badge:
Respecting Copyrights
*
Biggest Sign That Mike Huckabee Could Be Worse Than George W. Bush:
In response to the assassination of Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan, Gov. Huckabee argued for building a fence between the U.S. and Mexico to keep illegal Pakistanis from coming into the country.
*
No, Actually, This is the Biggest Sign That Mike Huckabee Could Be Worse Than George W. Bush:
He still stands by his statement in 1992 that those with AIDS should be quarantined and isolated from the general public.
*
Best Story That One Man Lived to Tell:
Ben Carpenter's electric wheelchair got accidentally jammed into the grill of a semi and ended up going down a highway for several miles at 50 mph before police finally alerted the truck driver about his extra passenger.
*
Most Random Subject To Write About (and Get Paid for):
How one of the Dixie Chicks popped one of my zits.
(Runner-up: Urinating next to Smokey Robinson)
*
Best Sign That The Conflict in the Middle East Goes Far Beyond Muslims and Jews:
A few days after Christmas, Greek Orthodox and Armenian priests came to blows in the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem (where Jesus was allegedly born) and started a major broom fight while cleaning the church. Palestinian police were called in to separate the warring factions.
*
Weakest Hip Hop Battle:
Kanye West vs. 50 Cent
*
Best Hip Hop Battle:
Rapper Travell Price shot by a feuding MC outside a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant
*
Best Comment on Poplicks:
"maybe after his wife leaves him he can broaden his horizons and branch out a bit!"
- sean (in response to the post about the man with tree-like growths on his skin)
*
Worst Way To Avoid Being Attacked While Walking The Streets:
A cloth vending machine disguise
*
Most Revealing Song for OJ Simpson to be Caught Whistling After Allegedly Committing Armed Robbery:
"If I Only Had A Brain"
*
Best Nickname for David Petraeus:
'The Surgin' General'
(beating out 'General Betray Us')
*
Best Reason Not To Play Slots:
Urine-soaked seats
*
Best Attempt to Make Flautists Look Cool:
Greg Patillo
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