TOP 10 THINGS I'D BE UPSET ABOUT IF I WERE WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

A photo I took last week

If I were William Shakespeare and I came back from the dead, these are the Top 10 things I'd be upset about:

1. The fact that there is a Starbucks directly facing the Globe Theatre in London where I first staged my plays
   


2. Keanu Reeves in Much Ado About Nothing
   


3. That I was forced to fight Busta Rhymes in Celebrity Deathmatch for the title of Best Poet
   


4. Lil' Romeo
   


5. Ben Affleck in Shakespeare in Love
   


6. The fact that Ben Affleck will forever be Academy Award Winner Ben Affleck
   


7. The band Shakespear's Sister
   


8. All the so-called literature experts who argue that some other bloke wrote my stuff
   


9. Jet Li and Aaliyah not dying -- and merely hugging -- at the end of Romeo Must Die
   


10. My CelebriDuck:
    

--Junichi