APOLOGIES RELATED TO AUTISM FUNDRAISERS ARE ALMOST NEVER FUNNY

The Belly Up Tavern, a live music venue that I pass during my daily commute to work, recently promoted an upcoming autism-related fundraiser that will feature performances by the band Slightly Stoopid.

Unfortunately, since Slightly Stoopid is a relatively obscure band, the person who designed the ad for the event (see above) misled many to believe that the name of the autism fundraiser is called "Slightly Stoopid." Oops.

To their credit, at least the organizers passed on the chance to invite the band Retarded to co-headline the show.

Of course, this confusion engendered the following inevitable and tasty damage-control email, which defies the usual rule that apologies related to brain disorders are never funny:

"The Belly Up offers their sincerest apologies for any misunderstanding about the April 15th charitable fundraiser for Autistic Children email. The band that is playing for this charitable event is called Slightly Stoopid, spelled with two 'oo's. It was never our intent nor the intent of Autism Tree Project to suggest that the name of the event is called Slightly Stoopid."

I might have to print out that mea culpa and put it in my scrapbook.

I would only replace it if I were to one day get the following apology email:

"The Belly Up offers their sincerest apologies for any misunderstanding about the 'Stop The Violence' Memorial for the Convalescent Home Murder Victims.

The band that is playing for this charitable event is called The Killers, which has no connection to the people who murdered the victims.

Also, MC Ghostface Killah, spelled with an 'ah', does not endorse the homicide of the elderly by spraying bullets into their ghostly faces.

It was never our intent to suggest that the name of the event is called 'Support The Killers, Cheer on Da Lench Mob, and C-Murder.'"

--Junichi