SENTENCING MATH

3 clubs, 25 years, and No Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Gary Ewing stole three golf clubs worth $399 each and was sentenced to 25 years to life in a California prison. The Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of his sentence in 2003.

The total value of the clubs that Ewing stuffed into his pants was $1,197.

Let us assume that Williams gets the low end of his sentence: 25 years.

Let's further assume that one's punishment for theft is proportionally related to the value of the stolen property.

If theft of $1,197 = 25 years, then Sir Robert Allen Stanford (who allegedly bilked investors of $8 billion) should be sentenced to 167,084,377.6 years in prison.

Similarly, Bernie Madoff (who allegedly engaged in a $50 billion Ponzi scheme) should be sentenced to 1,044,277,360 years in prison.

You're welcome, judges

--Junichi