MISS AK-47

Next in line? Sarah Barracuda

Happy birthday, Senator McCain! 72 years ago, you exited a birth canal and were born in the Panama Canal.

And now, you've picked Sarah Palin, a former beauty queen who is 28 years younger than you, to be at your side for the next 90 days.

I hope your wife, Cindy, a former model who is 18 years younger than you, doesn't get too jealous!

(After all, you did abandon and cheat on your first wife, Carol, a former beauty queen and swimwear model, to be with the younger woman.)

I trust your aspiring First Lady (who is really the Second Lady) is packing heat since Governor Palin is a lifetime member of the NRA and she doesn't play around!

After all, Gov. Palin is currently under investigation by the state of Alaska for firing a man who refused to fire the man who was in a custody dispute with her sister! Good times!

Anyway, happy birthday, Senator McCain! Your love for models and beauty queens is disturbing inspiring.

--Junichi