CHEESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR

Cheesus is my homeboy

Two days ago, a woman in Missouri discovered Jesus Christ in the form of a Cheeto. (Her Cheesus is on the right, in the image above.)

Her discovery is suspicious, however, because a church youth leader in Houston found Cheesus in his bag several months ago. (His Cheesus is on the left. There's video evidence below.)

Before I opine on this matter, let me begin by stating that I am firm believer in Cheesus.

I totally believe that the son of God would make a second appearance on Earth in the form of a Cheeto. After all, I get a taste of heaven every time I open a bag.

But a second and third coming in the form of Cheesus? I smell blasphemy in the orange dust.

I'm guessing the crucifix Cheeto in Missouri is actually Cheelzebub, the Prince of Darkness, masquerading as the son of God.

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It's too bad neither Cheesus was of the Flaming Hot variety, since some Christians -- especially those in the South -- could use a spicy gay savior.

--Junichi