INJUSTICE ON A STICK

On your mark, get set, go, let me go let me shoop to the next dog in the fried corn suit

I realize that there are countless injustices I could be discussing in this space.

There's Blackwater. Burma. Britney.

And those are just the B's.

But for now, I feel compelled to write about the following international outcry waiting to happen:

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The Iowa State Fair Board is thinking to eliminate the erotic corn dog-eating contest from the Iowa State Fair.

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WTF, Iowa State Fair Board? How dare you! Of all the people to oppress, why pick on corndogaphiles -- the most helpless, innocuous, kittenish species of humans alive today?

Maybe you should rename your committee the Iowa State Unfair Board. (Awww, snap! Boo-yow!)

But seriously, you need to consider the fact that nobody would visit Iowa if there's no competitive corn dog erotica at the state fair. Moreover, what are the Hawkeye State locals to do with all that mayonnaise they already bought at Sam's Club?

Perhaps you just don't want to give John Kerry an opportunity to launch his secret 2008 presidential campaign with condiment-laced pizazz?

Regardless, don't obliterate the one fun thing to do in Iowa. Please. Otherwise, no erotic corn dog eating contest, no peace!


P.S. For those behind on their corn dog news, ketchup, man.

--Junichi