THE iPHONE IS SO FIVE MINUTES AGO
I don't care how much cell phones evolve.
Apple's iPhone, or the new Banana phone, or your fancy Blackberry -- those fruit-themed phones ain't got nothin' on my meaty Centel cellular phone.
(See awesome Centel commercial below.)
Sure, you can use your new gadget to read the Interwebs and listen to the new Pharoahe Monch album.
But will you achieve bulging biceps from curling it? Can you drop it on a burglar and induce an instant concussion? Can your place it behind your tire to prevent your parked car from going down the hill?
Didn't think so.
Plus, I didn't stand in line for four days like some college kid at the financial aid office to get my hands on one, I don't have to use AT&T's primitive network, and I don't have to send it back to the manufacturer at my expense when the battery dies after 400 charges.
When my Centel's juice fades, I just pop in 12 new D batteries, and I'm good to go.