Friday, September 30, 2005

IF YOU LOVE ME ENGLAND, YOU'LL DO IT


How could you forget about her, Mr. Duplicity?


Re: Reuters: "Lynndie England Blames Lover for Abuse Photos"


Oh, I feel your pain, Private England.

Why, just the other day, my lover and I were at Blockbuster trying to decide what DVD to rent. She wanted to watch "Lords of Dogtown," while I preferred "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Unrated Director's Cut)."

She then struck a deal with me: "I'll tell you what, snookums ... We'll go with your movie choice if you go violate countless human rights treaties and torture prisoners obtained in violation of international law in a despicably inhumane manner guaranteed to offend the entire world and ignite further attacks upon the country that you've sworn to protect."

Before I had a chance to reply, she added, "If you really love me, you'll also strip the prisoners nude, point mockingly at their genitals, drag them with a leash unbecoming of a mutt, and photograph your metaphorical defecation upon the Geneva Conventions using a digital camera that will make it easier to plaster the front page of every newspaper and eventually symbolize America's disrespect for human life in the Arab world."

Did you or I have any choice?

It's so unfair, isn't it?
--Junichi

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