GIMME SIX REASONS

This little piggy went to Pink Cheeks

• Another Reason Not To Move To L.A.: You want to bleach what part of your body?

• Another Reason Not To Insult the Motor in the Back of Your Wife's Honda: Brooklyn newlywed Judy Castillo-Thomas was just acquitted of manslaughter, after being accused of stabbing Jason Thomas, her husband of three weeks, to death. While Mr. Thomas physically abused his wife, it was his insult that her butt was "too small" that allgedly sent her over the edge. Needless to say, Mr. Thomas likes big butts and he cannot lie live. Welcome home, chickens.

• Another Reason To Learn To Say You're Sorry: Before Japanese customers can eat in a Chinese restaurant in the Chinese city of Jilin, they must apologize for their country's wartime occupation of China. Political activism at its tastiest.

• Another Reason Not To Piss The Wrong Guy Off: In an obvious act of vengeance, somebody sent out dozens of letters to a Ontario man's employer and neighbors, claiming that he is wanted in Mexico for indecent exposure and the attempted rape of a cow. Fortunately for the defamed man, the Daily Bulletin reported that the allegations are entirely false. Unfortunately, I suspect that the Daily Bulletin is a one-page bulletin ignored every morning during home room at a high school nowhere near Ontario.

• Another Reason Why Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction: Do you remember that ridiculous scene in My Big Fat Greek Weddding where Aunt Voula says to Ian's parents:

You family now, so I tell you a story. All my life, I have this lump on the back of my neck, right here. When I reach the menopause, the lump get bigger. I go to the doctor, and he did the bio .. the bios .. the bobopsy. Inside the lump, he finds teeth and a spinal cord. Yes. Inside the lump ... was my twin.

If so, you'll trip, as much as I did, over how doctors in Bangladesh just removed a long-dead fetus -- complete with limbs and all -- from the abdomen of a 16-year-old boy who was complaining of stomach pains. (credit: f*bomb)

• Finally, here are three more reasons why FM radio will die soon (in addition to corporate consolidation, shrinking playlists, and the future that is podcasts, audioblogs, and Sirius satellite radio):

1. Stupid radio promotions. After being promised $100,000 in an on-air contest, WLTO listener Norreasha Gill was only given a Nestle's 100 Grand candy bar. She sued.
2. Unbearable morning shows. Wild 94.9 in SF fired their "Morning Doghouse" crew a few weeks ago for sexually harassing comments. Their replacement? Rick Delgado, the recently-fired author of Hot 97's Tsunami Song that mocked the tsunami victims as "screaming chinks." By bringing him to the bay, Clear Channel clearly knows how to hit the APA population hardest. To take action, click here.
3. Even Berkeley, famous for its independent radio, is imploding. KPFA seems to be in the midst of a hostile work environment meltdown and the FCC just pulled the plug on Berkeley Liberation Radio. Stay strong, KALX!

--Junichi