I DID IT ALL FOR THE WOOKIE
The Quiet Stormtrooper
In this era of high security and orange alerts, I found it alarming to see a picture in last week's New Yorker of an imperial stormtrooper in Times Square, holding a very large and very realistic-looking assault rifle, not unlike the unedited photo above.
It turns out I am not the only one who thought that a Star Wars costume would be an effective crime tool.
Apparently, a man in a Darth Vader costume just robbed a movie theater and emptied its cash register. Wow.
Of course, I was more taken aback when I later discovered that the thief was my father.
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I realize Episode III came out blog-years ago, but hey, I finally got to see it last night. A few of my pointless, belated thoughts:
- I love the darkness of the story, but the dialogue was so stilted that I laughed during this movie more than any another Star Wars film. Above all, this film made me really appreciate Anthony Lane's review of it.
- Am I the only one who thought Chancellor Palpatine was presented as a prototypical sexual predator who wanted to lure Hayden Christen into his imperial den of molestation?
- Before I saw the movie, I heard about the political overtones in the film and the apt comparisons between Lord Vader and Lord Bush. But once I heard Anakin's line -- "If you're not with me, you're my enemy!" -- I didn't think the comparison was subtle. Who knew Lucas was a liberal and, apparently, a Buddhist philosopher?
- Speaking of political issues, is it fair to say that Anakin wouldn't have turned to the dark side if the Republic provided legal abortion services? After all, even most neo-cons will allow the termination of a pregnancy when the life of the mother is in danger.
- Now why the hell would Padme waste her last words on thoughts about how she still believes "there is good in" the deadbeat father of her twins? She clearly knew he was guilty of domestic violence and infanticide. Hey Padme, how about wasting your last breaths on some advice for your two twin orphans?
- EW's wookie pictorial teased me into thinking we'd get to know all of Chewy's friends and relatives, but I was sorely disappointed to find the hirsute race got as much character development as the Queen of Naboo, played by Oscar nominee Keisha Castle-Hughes, who enjoyed about two seconds of screentime and no dialogue.
- When Darth Vader first put on his new uniform, I know I'm not the only who wished James Earl Jones tested the vocal filter by saying, "This ... is ... CNN."
- Saddest statement: of all the characters, R2D2 had the most personality, the most dynamic stage presence, and the best lines. Perhaps tomorrow's technology will allow the newly un-frozen Lucas to re-edit the film and improve the dialogue.
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