FIVE TIPS FOR MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND TRAVELERS
What's a better accessory than an iPod? The Indipod!
1. Buy a portable toilet for your car. The new Indipod (pictured above) is a "revolutionary compact toilet system" for your wheels. You won't need air freshener anymore since the Indipod's chemicals allegedly break down your excrement into a "sweet smelling, inoffensive liquid."
Since I'm in their target demographic, their website provides a Top 10 list of reasons to buy one. The #10 reason is -- and I paraphrase -- that your children might get kidnapped in public restrooms. Good point!
I don't want to reveal too much personal information, but let's just say the Indipod is a welcome addition to my Lincoln Incontinental.
2. Women without the Indipod should stay in the Big Apple. The New York City Council just passed a "Potty Parity" bill, which requires new buildings to have twice as many restrooms for women as men. You go, girl!
3. Check your cockloft before you leave. This tip comes courtesy of the following news article: Firefighters Put Out Blaze in Cockloft. The lesson: before you leave home, make sure there's nothing flammable in your cockloft, because it's difficult to operate "in a cramped cockloft" and "[o]nce [the fire] gets up there, it's almost out of control." [Insert Beavis & Butthead-like response here.]
4. Stay away from Jermaine Dupri. Apparently, JD genuinely fears becoming a "dark dude like Darth Vader." This may mean he wants to kill the "younglings" -- in the public restrooms!
5. Don't let Cory Williamson watch over your pets. See if you can resist hitting this link.
Have a good weekend errrbody.
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