ELECTION POST MORTEM
For the most part, today is a good day as our nation prepares to say farewell to Rummy, Santorum, Macaca, Foley, GOP Mandate, and other nasty-sounding terms. Here are a few of my rants and raves:
HOORAY:
1. Surely, the Wednesday after midterm elections, I assumed the most exciting news would be something related to election results. But as it turns out, oh my God, Secretary of War and Genocide Donald Rumsfeld is resigning, and he didn't even lose an election. Is it my birthday already? I just wet my pants from excitement.
2. Senator Rick Santorum will soon be unemployed. At long last, he will have free time to scold his son for flipping off the nation (see photo above) and spread his frothy namesake. Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you, Santorum.
3. The Republicans no longer control the majority of state legislatures or governors' offices across the country. In my mind, this is bigger news than the House (and possibly the Senate) of Blues. I can't believe that Karl Rove is relinquishing control of all of America.
4. South Dakota's sweeping bill to regulate women's uteruses (uteri?) lost by a solid majority.
5. Abramoff buddy and anti-environmentalist crusader Richard Pombo, a seven-term Congressman, lost his seat to McNerney in Northern California's 11th Congressional District.
6. Arizona, a fairly conservative state, became the first state to actually reject a ballot state initiative banning same-sex marriage. When it comes to civil rights, you've a come a long way, Arizona, from the days when you even refused to acknowledge MLK's birthday.
7. Katherine Harris could not rig the Florida election results to get her elected to the Senate.
8. Bible-Belt state Missouri approved a measure backing stem cell research and elected a progressive woman to the Senate. Thank you, Rush Limbaugh, for calling attention to the fact that only fundamentalist colostomy bags believe in prematurely sending Michael J. Fox to his grave.
9. Speaker Pelosi. I'm not a huge Pelosi fan, but she is definitely more attractive, in every way, than Speaker Hastert.
10. Governor Deval Patrick. The Commonwealth rocks.
11. California Prop 85 and 90 failed.
12. The numbers are not looking good for George Allen's re-election. (I can't believe party control of the Senate all comes down to Macaca.)
13. "Mark Foley" lost.
14. Ken Blackwell is not the next governor of Ohio.
BUMMER:
1. Colorado Congresswoman Musgrave, an immigrant from the Victorian era, was re-elected to office. Musgrave is a woman who started her political career by trying to ban sex education in local schools and still does not believe in the separation of church and state. Her seat was considered vulnerable, due in part to her corrupt ethical practices. But Christian fundamentalist voters apparently helped her eke out a victory.
2. Harold Ford lost.
3. Joe Lieberman won.
4. Francine Busby lost.
5. More states (but not Arizona!) voted to legislate homophobia and ban gay marriage.
6. Governor Schwarzenegger set to perform in another bad sequel.
7. California Prop 87 went down in oil-soaked flames.
8. Kevin Federline is being dumped by Britney Spears, which does not bode well for the future financing of Fresno's most famous rapper.
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