THE MEASURE OF A MAN
American Idle
After Clay Aiken visited Dr. Phil today to discuss how he was bullied, and after learning about the Clay Prayer Project in which his fans conduct a 24-hour prayer chain for him, and having read about his recent diva tantrums, I feel strangely compelled to share the following poem of mine:
TO CONTINUE READING...
Idolatry
by Junichi P. Semitsu
I must brave the hysteria
sprawling the Grand Cecum Mall
plant myself at the snake tail
of cerulean-haired grandmothers
and tween orthodontic patients
lined up to meet You
Clay Aiken
When my turn arrives
& I to eye with You
the idol / the man / the almighty
seated in the regal chair
normally occupied by Santa Claus
& the Resurrection Rabbit
I will ask You
to autograph your name
under the well-endowed title
of your debut CD
The Measure of a Man
laser-etched with your impassioned testimony
that if you were invisible
you would watch me in my room
& make me yours tonight
I will pray for a picture
me nestled next to your pixie frame
to grace the wallpaper
of my laptop
& my living room
lavished with life-size statues of you
I financed on clayaway
I will present you a Sharpie
rip my fan-shirt open
beg you trace
my tattoo of your earthy name
CLAY
the C hinged on my sole blade of chest hair
the Y leaning against my left areola
& I will say
Woe the day
America relegated you
its top runner-up
when Ruben Studdard
the velvet teddy-devil from the 205
squashed your elfin 919 spirit
But my faith remains
Aiken not stirred
I would still sacrifice
my every night
& weekend minutes
to cast more ballots for you
than all the candidates
who contested the Bush Dynasty
combined
I can't keep enough copies
of your Christmas album
to harmonize with your ringtones
I downloaded onto my Clay-T&T
I worship at the South Orange County Chapter
of the Church of Claymates
where we genuflect toward your anemic feet
& proclaim you
no false idol
My Lord
Your name is never
to be forsaken
You are my master
& I am forever
Aiken
for you
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